My 5 Terrible (or Arguably Funny) Travel Mistakes

I've always considered myself a meticulous person, and would plan my holidays down to even the nitty gritty details. But as the title of this post would suggest, sometimes, things either slip through the cracks, or s*** just happens.

If you're reading this thinking it's just going to be me committing any sort of cultural faux pas, this is not that post. These are mistakes that have resulted from pure stupidity. Therefore, there are 3 purposes to this post: (1) warn people not to commit the same, (2) take this opportunity to seek validation in hopes I'm not the only idiot in this world, and (3) serve as a nasty memory for my 69-year-old self to look back on.

These experiences are in chronological order, to also prove that stupidity transcends age, really.

1. I Never 牛 (niu) This (China, 2012) 


Throwback to my lesbian hair circa 2012, waddup!

This happened during a community service trip to Yunnan, China, where my friends and I had a few days of R&R to roam the streets of Kunming city, before heading to the rural areas. We chanced upon this roadside stall that sold skewered meats, and decided to buy some.

I asked the stallholder what meat it was, and she told us that it was "牛肉", which is what we call beef back home, right? But when we bit into it, what we tasted, and what we saw SHOOKT us:


There is no way this looks like beef fam.

It was extremely tender – even more so than chicken – and the meat was white, not red. And then our cynical Singaporean mindset immediately made us think that the stallholder lied to us about it being beef, when it's probably another animal's, like a rabbit, or ALPACA (after I said this, my friend actually cried because we literally saw an alpaca in the city earlier that day and, well, she just loves alpacas). What can I say, I'm a s*** stirrer.

We found out from our tour guide a few days later that when people in China (or at least in Yunnan) say 牛肉, they actually mean meat from mountain cattle (山牛 – it literally translates to mountain cow), not the kind of cows we know!

Why it's terrible: I made my friend cry. Also, I maligned a nice China auntie (I didn't cow-peh-cow-bu to her lah, but still)

Tl;dr: What they refer to as cows in China are different from the cows we know.


2. Bali Singlets Are Barely "Legal" (2013) 


Here's us getting krunk in Bali

One thing that I really love about Bali is that you can be as lupsup as you want without being judged. We were drinking beer while kayaking right smack in the middle of the day, and it was amazing.

So colour us surprised when this happened: one night, we decided to head to Ku De Ta via a cab (after being buzzed from a few drinks, so we weren't in the best state of mind) from our villa. But lo and behold, our entry was rejected because my friend, Joey, was wearing a singlet sporting the Bintang beer logo (see bottom left photo above)!

We literally bought the singlet the day before at a market because it's a must-have for basic tourists like us, and we only wanted to show some love for the country (and its beer) by wearing it around. Little did we know that Ku De Ta was atas enough to prohibit entry to anybody wearing alcohol brand logos on their clothing, so they turned our cab around.

But remember how I said we were buzzed from the alcohol? In our slightly drunken stupor, as the taxi was about to turn around to give way to other cars, it stopped right in front of what seemed like a squad of military personnel who were ARMED!

In that moment (once again, please be reminded we were drunk) we actually thought we were going to get arrested, lol! Long story short, Joey ended up flipping his singlet inside out and we managed to get in. We literally solved the problem by upping our lupsup game. Woohoo!

Why it's terrible: We should've dressed properly to a decent establishment like that. Plus, we foolishly thought we were going to get arrested for wearing the wrong singlet. [cue sitcom Friends' Ross' voice: "WE WERE ON A BREAK DRUNK!!!!"]

Tl;dr: No singlets with alcohol emblems when you enter "legit" places in Bali!


3. Dog Days in Bangkok (2015) 


Here's a picture of me from the trip that's going to be completely unrelated to this point.

I think anybody who's been to Bangkok would surely, at some point, consider going to a certain dog cafe called the True Love Husky Cafe, where you can cosy up and play with 23 furry huskies. I mean, look at these cuties:


(Photo credit: cheezburger.com)

But guess who didn't get to do that when he was in Bangkok? Me.

Call it a lack of planning, or call it pure stupidity, but we didn't actually know how we were going to get there. We just knew we wanted to, so we just relied on Google Maps. We didn't take into consideration the fact that the huskies obviously can't be out for the entire afternoon because of the heat, and whether or not the place was actually easily accessible.

The first problem we encountered was a nasty traffic jam that led to us being stuck on a tuk-tuk for a good 45 minutes, and for the entire time we were marinating in our salt since we could've been doing something more productive on our trip!

The best part? When we thought we had finally gotten there, we realised via Google Maps that the cafe was a good 1.5km walk away! I wish I was making this up for dramatic effect, but I'm really not. Like I said, I am usually a meticulous planner, so to make a mistake like this was truly embarrassing. After we walked under the blazing hot afternoon sun to get there, the cafe was already closed for the afternoon.

I know right?

Why it's terrible: We really didn't think this through properly... lol

Tl;dr: Plan itineraries down to every single detail, and always take into account other factors like possible traffic congestions, and walking distances!


4. Osaka Does it the Right Way (2015)


Literally. (Photo credit: howlingpixel.com)

As evident from the photo above, you have to stand on the right side of escalators instead of the left, as we're so accustomed to in Singapore. When I first arrived in Osaka, I did pick up on this escalator etiquette, although sometimes I would still stand on the left subconsciously, looking like the oddball, or rude gaijin if you will.

But this small mistake made me almost cause someone's death. [cue jeng jeng jeng music]

I was unknowingly standing on the left side of the escalator one day, when halfway through the ride up I realised that I was standing on the wrong side! Naturally, my first instinct was to hurriedly shuffle to my right so that I don't cause a nuisance or whatever.

Let's just say I should've checked my blind spot.

Because as I was shuffling to the right, it was in that very moment that an elderly man was trying to climb up the escalator, and was going diagonally onto the empty space I was shuffling towards!

As you would expect, I accidentally tripped the poor oji-san, and he almost fell on his face if not for his quick arm reflexes cushioning his fall! He gave me a look of severe disapproval (or in millennial lingo, a stank face) before continuing his climb up.

Absolutely embarrassing. My heart almost stopped, because he definitely looked like he was at least 70 years old and I was so afraid something would really happen to him.

Why it's terrible: I almost injured a poor oji-san who was just trying to mind his own business and make his way up an escalator :'(

Tl;dr: Never forget a country's customs, and always be aware of your surroundings!


5. Melbourne, more like MelBURNT (a hole in my pocket) (2017)



I never expected myself to fall in love with Australia this much, but I did. The people are friendly, the food is amazing, and the sights are breathtaking.

But nobody warned me that Melbourne is also as fine as wine, in the same way that Singapore is a fine city.

Because one day after grabbing lunch at a restaurant in Lorne, we chanced upon a sweet gift under our rented car's wipers:


NOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Here's the backstory: we were desperately looking for a parking lot to park at because we had been circling a few parking areas nearby to no avail, so naturally the moment we saw some sort of gap anywhere, we went straight in for the kill without thinking much.

We didn't know this, but there was actually a sign erected literally right in front of our car, but the sign was so high up that I honestly wasn't able to see it from the passenger's seat either. It was this sign:


(Photo credit: mylicence.sa.gov.au)

Clearly, I was a dumb Singaporean who didn't actually know what the S would've stood for, and perhaps that's why my subconscious decided to ignore it. I was too used to only seeing No Parking signs back home. And what a heavy price we paid for this mistake!

We actually tried to push our luck by submitting a nicely-written appeal letter (we're all advertising creatives, and you know what they say about people like us...), but alas! Our appeal was unfortunately (yet expectedly, but we were in denial) rejected and we ended up paying the fine.

Why it's terrible: We didn't educate ourselves on Australian road signs.

Tl;dr: Educate yourselves on the country's road signs if you're going to be driving. Singapore's BTT ain't gonna be enough!


The good thing about making these terrible mistakes, though? Knowing that you're never going to commit them again, so at least next time, I'll be a better traveller. Woohoo!


[Note: This post is written as part of my application for The Travel Intern Programme 2018]

You nose it.

It would seem rather abrupt to appear with a post suddenly announcing I just did a surgery on my nose, but here you go.

Before regaling the trials and tribulations I underwent to arrive to this day with my pisai still covered in dried blood, no, it was not a cosmetic procedure. I had wanted it to be a cosmetic procedure, but the doctor was obviously being ignorant when he said "I didn't need it," and the only way for me to have it sponsored by the SAF is for my nose bridge to collapse as a complication of this functional procedure.

For the longest time I have been plagued with ENT issues... I would actually say my whole life. I had a snoring problem that nobody knew the cause of (I even underwent sleep apnea tests!), until it stopped when I had a tonsillectomy from my chronic tonsillitis. As it turns out, my tonsils were so naturally enlarged (EVERY TIME I visited a doctor and they decide to check my throat, 95% of them would remark - in awe - at how large my tonsils were. I also have a similar reaction when they check out my di-) that they would rub against each other causing the snoring. Who would have thought right? Knn.

Secondly, I was always having a runny nose and never knew why. I actually have allergic rhinitis, but for some reason, throughout the course of my childhood, doctors only casually threw this phrase around like it was not a big deal. I was given nasal sprays since I was about 6? I would use them for a while and then stop, not only because they didn't work, but also because they tasted like shit once they travel down to your throat. At some point in secondary school, I started consuming antihistamines for what I thought was just a simple "runny nose" problem that my unfortunate being is just cursed with. For the longest time, I had assumed the antihistamines were actually flu meds and I just had a very unfortunate immune system.

Many months ago I had enough of that shit. It occurred to me that there is NO WAY any normal functioning human being is supposed to have a runny nose that often, and on top of that, on bad days I would wake up with a very irritating feeling that went up to the back of my throat as well as my hard and soft palate. It was a feeling that was so overwhelming and virtually impossible to get rid of.

That was when I did allergic tests and found out I was allergic to dust mites, house dust, and cat and dog dander. And guess what? I have a dog at home, dust is every fucking where, and obviously there would be dust mites pretty much every fucking where as well. That would explain why my allergy is perpetually TRIGGERED, causing me to feel like shit.

Even then, after receiving these findings from a private specialist, I was offered no long term solution. I was simply prescribed antihistamines, the same kinds I have been eating for the past 900 lifetimes. Doesn't make any fucking sense right?

Feeling bitter about the world, I continued living while marinating in my salt when one day, Jiarong introduced me to a clicknetwork video where Oon Shu An tried out a Sinus Rinse, because he knew I always had problems in that area. My interest was obviously piqued - what is this fascinating thing I've never seen before? Wah, available at Guardian ah? GOTTA HAVE IT. Immediately made a trip down to Guardian to get it.

So if you didn't watch a video, it's basically a squeeze bottle you're supposed to fill a saline solution with, squeeze it up one nostril, and it will flush all the triggering allergens up there down the other nostril, and everything will be fine and dandy.

Here's the shookening part - when I squeeze it through one nostril, the water did not come out the other nostril. It would come out from the back of my throat instead, indicating an obvious blockage.

I thought it was just one of my bad allergy days, so I tried again throughout the next two days, making sure I took antihistamines to prevent the same thing from happening. Didn't work. That's when I knew shit is fucked up. In fact, it literally occurred to me that for the entirety of my life, I have actually been only able to breathe out of one nostril. Obviously since the sinus rinse incident, I've been especially cognisant of this phenomenon. I thought it might be because of my deviated septum (where the bone on the inside of my nose is slanted, very common, and also a phrase the specialist mentioned but casually shrugged off), but no. The blockage appeared to vacillate between either nostril, but never both. Can't be my bone moving by itself right?

I made an appointment at a polyclinic and they agreed I had the typical throat of someone with allergic rhinitis and referred me to NUH (even though I specified I wanted SGH, but apparently NUH was faster). My doctor was amazing - he immediately suggested going for surgery, something that I probably should have been told from day 1.

Basically, my allergies cause the inside of my nose to swell, causing the blockage. But because of some sciencey shit related to an "allergy cycle", the swelling changes sides to "take turns" and let the original side rest. Wah, didn't know allergens work in a team.

So the solution was to not only straighten my very minor deviated septum (it's a very by-the-way thing actually), but also, in layman terms, remove some of the flesh inside my nose to provide a buffer for my nose to swell when it wants to without obstructing the normal airflow. In scientific terms, it's a septoplasty and a turbinoplasty. Despite my diagnosis having the letters "rhin", I was not required to have a "rhin"oplasty. Disappointed.

So anyway, the surgery was done really quickly (about 2 hours, warded for one night), though my nose was literally dripping blood for the first week because I had plastic splints inside my nose to hold my septum in place since it's been messed with and shit. On top of that, every time I spat out what I thought was phlegm would actually turn out to be dried blood clots... yep, bon appetit baby.

But one week after removing the splints, I managed to effortlessly breathe through both my nostrils for the first time in my entire life. It actually felt amazing, though I was more amazed that I lived 20 years not knowing I even had this problem.

Two weeks on, I haven't actually experienced anymore incidents of me waking up in the morning with a terribly stuffed and snotty nose, and I haven't had to blow mucus out of my nose since the surgery. I feel amazing!!! I would honestly say it's life-changing and I'm glad I did it. Feels good man!

Konvinced by KonMari

I have to admit: I have been telling people I am a "recovering hoarder" for a few years now.

Because while I have definitely gotten over my hoarding tendencies, I am still at about the halfway mark towards getting rid of my excesses.

Until I just read Marie Kondo's book on the "Magic" of Tidying. It's going to sound ridiculous, but for once I actually found a book that addresses my problem of hoarding.

For people who want a tl;dr, basically, Marie Kondo (hence the name of the method, KonMari) teaches people on tidying, or rather, the method where one only keeps things that fulfill one of two categories: (1) Things that fulfill a functional purpose, and (2) Things that "spark joy" when you physically pick them up, i.e. trigger a positive emotional response.

Then you discard the rest because they're basically "noise" to your environment and mental state. Supposedly, once your mind has been cleansed by decluttering, you are able to think clearly, be more energised, and in very extreme cases, discover what is it you really want out of your life.

I completely buy it. Honestly, for someone so non-religious like me, I actually believe in spiritual energies, that things occur for very spiritual reasons. I am especially a fervent believer that Mahjong tiles have spirits embedded in them, and I subscribe to the belief that the tiles can read your mind - if you ponder too much over a tile that you eventually throw away, they tend to always come back to you, because that's the kind of assholes these Mahjong spirits are. And how you cannot stand up until it's the West wind.

So now, I am a Marie Kondo worshipper.

I'm going to get my life in order and start tidying the shit out of my life!!!!!!!!! Minimalism FTW!!!

Just earlier today, I suddenly remembered I kept a box that contained all my ticket stubs that dated all the way back to 2008 - bloody 9 years ago, can you believe it?! Surprisingly the stubs haven't faded yet, and they are still the classic small, perforated GV white-and-yellow stubs.

I also found, oddly, a box that had an assortment of clothing tags (I'm such a weirdo) for some reason. I need to STOP.  CAROUSELL EVERYTHING!!!

iPhone woes

Yao siu, I actually wanted to hold out on this iPhone 5s, which I've used since its release in 2013, until prices for the 6S right now drop, but alas, things were not meant to be when my phone decided it'd be a good idea to slip out of my grip when I was closing my bunk door last week.

It fell front face-down and the entire top left corner is shattered and chipped. Plus, it now keeps pressing random areas of the screen which irritates the shit out of me when I need to actually use the phone.



And all this happening at such a "serendipitous" time got me thinking that Jesus probably wanted me to get an iPhone 7 LMAO. I guess its time is up lah, my iPhone 5s the last three years actually chalked up quite a long resume already anyway:

1. Broken silent mode toggle
2. Broken headphone jack (So essentially, I've been using the iPhone 7 before it even materialised. Hipster much)
3. 1 x bootleg battery replacement (At Sim Lim square for like $60? Damn)
4. Broken torchlight / camera flash (yep. No idea how that happened)
5. 1 x bootleg screen replacement (At an ah tiong shop in JE for like $80 lol)
6. LATEST: Shattered screen + moves on its own

But I think if my phone isn't in such a tragic state now I probably would've held on to it until the next year. I've reached a point where I'm totally cool with changing phones in 3/4-year cycles. That's one thing about ageing I actually wholly embrace!!! I no longer see the need of wanting to own the latest / best anything anymore, especially IT gadgets. Damn expensive sia. Except this case, because the iPhone 6S 128GB is actually more expensive than the iPhone 7 128GB lol. Yao siu.

I was actually thinking of getting the Rose Gold colour but after playing around with the matte black one (or as the guy who tended to me at Singtel says it, "blake" colour) I realised it was too sexy to not get that colour lol! Plus, not a big fan of the phone having a white frontplate... maybe I'd consider it if it was black at the front and rose gold at the back.




Wooo!




Anyway, can I just take a moment to spazz about how happy I am with Utada Hikaru's new album?!?!?! Bitch I waited 8 years for it to be out!!! Albeit it's a more mellow album because half of the album is about her mother's suicide, but I think it's coming at a very good time when J-Pop in 2016 has been shittier than ever before. Her collaborations on this album are absolutely A+++++++. It was a long wait but totally worth it.



Oh yeah, forgot to add on one stupid thing that happened. I was so caught up with planning my Tokyo trip that I actually missed the deadline to register for JLPT N2 in December. Fuck, right? I had thought in my head the entire time that registration was only going to open in mid-September, but turns out they had closed on Sept 9 zzz. So basically I have to pass the July 2017 exams by hook or by crook, otherwise I'm pretty much fucked4lyfe.

I've had it with these survey people

I have officially HAD IT!

I know I am a bitch for saying this. But I hate how society's overly-goody-two-shoes, Virgin Mary types like to say that we should understand why people do certain things because they're simply trying to make a living, or something along those lines. Or try to understand that perhaps, just perhaps, what they're doing is against their own will and they have no other choice but to do it.

But let me take a moment to talk about people who ask passers-by to do their stupid surveys on the streets.

The act in itself is harmless. I agree. Sometimes, people just siam after they see my resting bitch face, or when I calmly reject them. But lately some people on the streets are so fucking stupid, and not to mention RUDE that I just need to express my frustration.

CASE #1 - That bitch near Burlington Square

I was walking with Edrie to LaSalle to catch a play, so we were walking to the location from Bugis MRT and were about to reach the traffic light that you cross to Burlington Square. Suddenly, from the top right area of my vision, I see this chao ah lian holding a stupid flier ZOOM across me diagonally, completely ignoring me, and targeted Edrie to my left. I immediately knew why because the first words that came out of her mouth were "Hi do you go to Malaysia often?" She was holding a flier for some shit about travelling to Malaysia.

I was so fucking appalled I turned back, looked her straight in the eye, and said, "Wow, just because he's Malay?" She stopped dead in her tracks, and I continued staring straight back in her eyes as we walked away. Ask her to fuck off with her racism lah. Bye.


CASE #2 - That bitch right outside Causeway Point who AMBUSHED ME OUTSIDE MCDONALD'S

Was walking into Causeway Point to find someone, and as I was strolling along the side of the exterior of McDonald's I felt someone's finger annoyingly tapping on my arm. I thought it was a friend who wanted to say hi so I turned around. It's this fucking bitch wanting me to do a survey. She was like, "Excuse me are you an NSF?" whilst holding a clipboard with a stack of survey sheets.

WHAT FUCKING AUDACITY OF THIS BITCH!!!!!

Seriously I am so DONE with these people. Since when did they have the authority to AMBUSH people from the back and TOUCH people like that? PERSONAL SPACE?! HELLO?!

I have to admit, I didn't think quick enough to ask the woman why she touched me because all I wanted was to get her to stop following me cos I was already running late.

The worst part is that she probably thought she could've gotten away with it just because she is a woman. If it was a male doing this to a female he would've obviously gotten into shit. So I can honestly ascertain by 80% that this bitch was playing double standards to her favour. So fuck that.

And I'm sorry not sorry. My personal belief is to not do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you.

Salted Eggs! Kroyzens!

I am now a self-proclaimed salted egg croissant connoisseur, simply because I've made the conscious effort to taste (almost) all of them around... I think I just haven't tried Starbucks' one, because it's too basic (I am aware of the irony of the situation).

In terms of the BIG croissants (or as I affectionately call 'kroyzens' thanks to random auntie at BK), I feel like Asanoya's one is still the best (never got to try the original Antoinette one). The rest are too hard and "crusty", very unlike the texture of a crassic kroyzen. Not a big fan of their matcha version though.

In terms of the SMALL croissants (that typically go for $1 a piece), Bunmaster is the least nice one, because their kroyzens taste like bread, and the filling is only concentrated on one spot of the whole thing, so you have to endure 50% of nasty, salty "bread" for the heavenly filling that comes after.

Breadtalk used to be the best one, overtaking Breadsociety, but now I think the best one is Four Leaves'. Not only are theirs the biggest out of all $1 rivals, but they also offer the cheapest bulk discount if I remember correctly – 1 for $1, 2 for $1.90, 3 for $2.70. And let's just say there is soooo much of the delicious, velvety filling that there is NO way you can eat this without it jizzing all over the plastic bag they put it in. It's really pretty damn good if you ask me.

But let's all take a moment to remember that croissants are made of 50% butter as well so...  (watch from 4:07 onwards and proceed to die)


Speaking of salted egg yolk, I have to say that despite all the flak it receives, McDonald's new Salted Egg Yolk burger does have its own merits.

PRO-TIP: Remember to order with EXTRA SAUCE. It doesn't do anything with regards to its subtle taste, but it does make the burger really wet, and who doesn't love a wet burger, yknowhatImean? ;)

Also, the salted egg yolk sauce actually can taste lah, you just have to "try very hard to taste it". I'm pretty sure y'all know what I mean. It's when you REALLY want to dissect the taste of something, so you keep focusing your energies on tasting it, which might sometimes involve the involuntary moving of the tongue up and down? Or don't tell me I'm the only one who does it?


Another on my list of obsessions lately: BEARD PAPA'S. It's so heavenly despite its pedophilloic name. The latest white chocolate eclair puff with cookies and cream filling? Fantastic. I can't get enough of those. I think they should have some sort of membership for that place.

I never thought this would happen to me #2

Last year (or 2 years ago), I blogged my first case of "I never thought this would happen to me" when my house keys fell through the gap of the elevator. Here's part 2.

As I've learnt in many health education classes about Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease, seeing the gruesome pictures more or less made that phrase a very dirty word in my vocabulary. And at the age of 21, I would've never imagined that I would contract it in my life. Ever. Plus, I generally dislike terms with words relating to feet in them.

UNTIL I ACTUALLY GOT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The first thing that came to my mind was how my unit is going to FLIP. And they really did. Because immediately after I was diagnosed with it and informed them about it, the entire camp went into hardcore mode and installed tens and hundreds of disinfecting hand sanitisers all around camp (which, one month on, are still there. I consider this my legacy), and my colleagues, who have only known me for 1.5 days, had to disinfect the whole office AND my bunk. Thankfully, we're still friends........ or so I think....

At first only my bunkmate, Keith, got it right after our graduation parade (pics on Instagram, lazy post here lol). He was diagnosed the very next day on a Friday.

Which was why when I realised I had 2 ulcers in my mouth (I haven't gotten ulcers since I took off my braces - hallelujah!), and had small, tingly bumps appear on my hands a few days after, my mind flashed back to the time when Keith and I were at Pasir Laba Camp's cookhouse and he used his cutlery to pass me his unwanted chicken wing, and I passed him 2 of my ngoh hiangs.

And I was also reminded that the very next day after returning our parade-wear, we went to Sushi Express where he and I shared a slice of unagi, which was delicious. That, and also another instance where we basically shared saliva. Aka indirectly made out. Cue mental imagery.

So friends, HFMD is very real and can happen to adults. Also to all my friends who study / are studying Medicine, I know you've been taught that HFMD is transmitted through fecal-oral contact, but I can guarantee I did not involve (and I will NEVER involve) in any scat fetish activity.

But to be honest, I've always had a weak immune system so that's probably why I got it. Contrary to popular belief HFMD is not common in adults AT ALL (I have become a self-proclaimed expert in HFMD, because I had nothing to do during my 7-day MC except research about my own disease, and watch 2 seasons of Friends).

I even went to Pink Dot (which I am technically not allowed to, and I'm not sure if I can be arrested for it. And I'm not referring to the homosexhusness of it, I'm referring to HFMD.) and nobody got hurt. Other than the fact that my friends freaked the shit out 2-3 days later when they got "symptoms" for HFMD, when it ended up not even being it! Cheebyes.


Anyway some life updates! Turns out, I got posted back to my vocation's training school, which I was totally surprised by, because I only knew I was interviewed to be the personal assistant for DB's commandant, lol.

Turns out I was posted to be the personal assistant for my school's CO. For the civilians reading this, it basically means I am the slutty secretary of the school principal whose duties include replying emails, and bitches about anything and everything as a pastime. And if you know me, you'd know that's soOOoOooOoooOooOoo me, and I feel so lucky. This is basically my poly internship with a less stressful job and a 50% pay raise. Plus, it's going back to a familiar place.

Am also thinking of going back to Japan in September wooo! Hopefully I don't die or sth

Cab ride thought #1

So in my course, we have one female cadet amongst the 150 of us. And whenever we have a lecture or a lesson being conducted, many a times when the person teaching is about to make a crude or inappropriate joke, he would either:

1. Ask the female cadet to cover her ears
2. Ask the female cadet to "pardon" his words
3. Change the language altogether simply because there is a female around.

And I'm so baffled by this. I can't help but wonder - is that what makes married men so oppressed because they always have this latent need to be "gentlemanly" or whatever the fuck you call that? And by extension, and I'm going out on a limb here, could this also somewhat contribute to infidelity in men? Because they are too tired of this inherent oppression they may not even be aware of?

Ok, but benefit of doubt, maybe they just wanna be a nice person. But I just don't understand why just because ITS A GIRL means you have to be nice and tone down your language. Like, why???????????????? You wanna sleep w her meh?

I don't know but I'm very pro-gender equality so I enjoy shooting my mouth regardless of whoever or whatever gender is around me.  That's how I'd like an ideal world to be but that's just my personal belief. I just don't see the point why a certain gender has to be singled out to be treated differently just because.

But whatever. Based on personal experience I'm not a fan of army regulars. My close friends know what I'm talking about.

~*food for thought cos I'm bored on a cab*~

OH MANZ

Was so disappointed earlier to find out that Jurong Point's Breadtalk was sold out of salted egg yolk kroyzens :(

Kroyzens is also how I'm going to read and pronounce croissants from now on (unless I'm in a situation where I have to protect what little I have on an image) because that's exactly how I heard an auntie pronounce it a few months back HAHAHA. I was particularly fascinated by the way she said it with so much gusto, accenting the "K" and the "Z".

I really love salted egg yolk so fucking much eh. I swear to god, I am so on top of this fad, which I hope will last for a lifetime. I will eat anything with salted egg yolk. The only thing that I've had with salted egg yolk that turned out to be bad was Pastamania's pathetic attempt at an SG50 salted egg yolk pasta (that shit was bland) but everything else has been so awesome.

I don't understand why anybody wouldn't like it. Maybe cos I'm Cantonese and we all dig eggs that are not in their purest form – salted egg, century egg, you name it, we love it, unless it's balut. I've actually looked up videos on how to make my own salted eggs, but I literally have to keep them in a brine for a month before I can use them, which I don't have the patience for, clearly. You know what I also really like? That soupy kangkong that they like to cook with garlic, salted egg and century egg. I should probably learn how to do that someday cos it's GOOD SHIAT.

This is also my second time in the last six months to have some kind of throat infection which I am pretty sure is once again contracted from the army. URGH! I hate communal living. The first time I got a throat infection it lasted for a good month from BMT all the way to the midpoint of SCS. I'm so annoyed. And I've decided to repair my image by showering slightly more often now (*ahem* am I really tho?) but that is clearly not helping my throat. Maybe I've been giving one too many BJs, who knows? Hmm...

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Lately I've been very curious towards the notion of why us as human beings like to seek entertainment so much. We all watch TV, movies, go for concerts and festivals, blah blah blah, and entertainment in some form or another plays such a big part in our lives that I can't help but wonder why. 

I do know for a fact that entertainment played a big part in post-war times because at a time when a country is in shambles entertainment is the thing everyone can look to for some form of happiness, or rather, escapism. I get that.

But a few days ago I Google-d for a few answers, which I spent an accumulated time of 5 minutes skimming through, because of my unfortunate lack of an attention span, and found that it's because we as humans lead too leisurely lives if we're found to look for entertainment too much. I might be wrong because I evidently didn't read all that much, but it said that human beings by nature are resilient and are meant to overcome adversities and shit. So when that isn't present in our environment, we start to chillax and decide to look for things to just "pass time" / entertain us until shit hits the fan lor, basically. Which is what contributed to the fall of the Roman empire, apparently. Maybe that's why we're all so fat now. That's why there's Netflix and chill. AHHHHHH!!!

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While I don't know how, I think I'm going to start saving up because I'm planning to go to Japan in September this year. And I might wanna go to Taiwan as well. Plus I need to save up and replace my shitty, 3-year-old iPhone 5s, which by the way, is so shitty that the headphone jack and camera flash doesn't even work anymore LOL! Clearly dropped it way too many times. Sigh. But yeah. Money probléms because of my first-world needs :(

PSA

So I have a very tragic announcement to make.

It's not exactly the best thing to have. Or rather, the best condition to have.

Am I going to die? Well, under the wrong circumstances, I just might.

Are people going to shun me after seeing it? You bet they would.

No, I am not retiring. (#casuallytryingtopullaRebeccaLim)

I suffer from Stage 4 Resting Bitch Face.

It's actually really bad.

As anybody in NS would know, you have to constantly switch around to different camps at the beginning. From Tekong to PLC to my current camp (literally from the East to the West), the success rate at which I have been called out for my Resting Bitch Face is a stunning 100%.

Sometimes it takes me by so much surprise – usually it starts off with someone staring at my face, to which I would stare back and wonder what's up. "Travis why do you look so du lan?" "Travis why do you look so gloomy?" "Travis you look very sad eh what happened?"

LULZ!!!!!!!

Then I have to proceed to explain about how I have a resting bitch face and it's just like that. Is this what Rui En goes through on a daily basis?

I won't deny that it has helped me in many situations though. For example, salesmen and people doing flag day and surveyors won't normally approach me because I look so damn pissed off. They literally shun me, which is great. I hope that keeps up.


In other news I have unfortunately racked up an unfortunate reputation in my bunk to be a very dirty person. Not mentally, because that's universally known. But physically. SO ANNOYING!

It all happened one day after close combat training where I didn't sweat a lot. Didn't sweat what, so it's fine right? So in my state of not giving two shits, I decided to lie down on my bed. And the entire bunk got sooooo appalled by the fact that I didn't bother to shower first before lying down on my bed?!?! CAN SOMEBODY TELL ME THIS IS OKAY PLEASE?

From that day on they've decided to replace the word 'dirty' in their dictionary to 'Travis'. "Don't be so Travis lah!" Walao eh...

Last Friday before booking out we had physical training as well, after which, as I actually do most of the time, I immediately went to shower. After changing into my civilian clothes and packed my bag, FOUR bunkmates asked on separate times, "Travis you got shower or not?" OMG!!!!!! It's not even in a joking way. They were legitimately, genuinely asking if I had showered. AHHHH!!!

It's alright, as long as I know I'm clean nothing else matters!!!!.... until I contract some form of disease.