As this is my 666th post, I would like to commemorate this milestone by making a confession specially made relevant for this special occasion.
I am, in fact... part of the...
For a very long time now I've been very keen in learning about the devil and his doings. As such, I have decided to become Satan's servant and I am PROUD OF IT!
I prove my dedication and commitment by calling my physics formula triangles "Illuminati Triangles". I draw Illuminati triangles with the eye whenever I decorate something. I secretly put on eye makeup to resemble that Illuminati eye-looking thing.
Heck, I even have Satan's phone number secretly stored inside my phone in a hidden area where nobody can gain access to.
On nights whereby I feel lonely and feel like the entire world is going against me, I turn to capital H-I-M. He is my saviour. Satan is my all.
You may have heard of the last supper, but Satan has the last hunger pang. He'd continually encourage to binge on food as it is a facet of life that is pure indulge.
You know what they say - NS,NS. No Satan, No Satay.
If life cannot be a bed of roses, I'll just fall back in Satan's embrace.
At times when life became hard for me, Satan made them all easy again. He'd make me overcome all my difficulties within a blink of an eye. All I had to do was to do things to the best of my ability and Satan would do the rest.
Satan has also made me gain connections in Hollywood. Lady Gaga. Rihanna. Britney Spears. Beyoncé. Even Barbra Streisand and Betty White!!!
I've seen them all during Illuminati gatherings and meetings. It would always be a great pleasure to meet them. YOU JEALUZ?
I have to admit that Lady Gaga is an absolute genius in hidden symbolic Illuminati messages.
Her song, Bad Romance? Rah rah rah ah ah is most certainly not a word play on the word "Romance". It is a message. A message from Satan. To spread awareness about the cause of Satanism, and that she does indeed have a bad romance with none other than the devil himself.
Judas, in fact, had a ghost writer - Satan. He was indeed a king with no crown. He was a king with horns!
Yoü and I may sound like a song that doesn't have the devil's influence, but in actual fact, the "You" refers to... say it with me - SATAN! Why else would it be specially titled as Yoü?
And she'll die living as free as her hair just like how Satan will die (if he ever will) living just as free as his horns.
Rihanna's Only Girl (In The World) truly sends out a strong message about the Illuminati. "WANT YOU TO MAKE ME FEEL / LIKE I'M THE ONLY GIRL IN THE WORLD". The only girl in the world in the eyes of Satan.
And Satan does indeed make her feel like one. In fact, they go on regular binging sessions on human meat, especially those of old virgins above the age of 55.
Beyoncé Run The Flop (Lulz), though not performing well on charts, still sends out a strong meaning too. The fact that 80% of the song is sampled from some other weird-assed song already states the very obvious - that the devil has absorbed away most of her creativity.
Britney Spears... she freaking recorded a song written by Ke$ha, of course she's in! And not to mention Barbra Streisand. I don't even...
Last but not least,
But what about me? What has the devil himself influenced me to do? Well, he was the one that made me start this blog. To tarnish the reputation of blogging and you know what they say - black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love.
Sometimes, Satan himself visits me often. Usually, he'd give me money, but the moment he leaves, they mysteriously yet expectedly turn into hell notes. I can't believe sometimes how he'd troll me like that. But hey, I like a mischevious friend sometimes.
I wouldn't say he's exactly that good-looking, because sometimes I find it really hard to look into his face without vomiting, so what I do is shift my eyes from one horn to the other and back and forth so it'll seem as though I'm paying attention.
But hey, it's nice to have a friend visit me since I don't usually... have... friends. They all think I'm weird and crazy.
But just you wait... one day... just one day... I will gain ETERNAL GLORY for being Satan's servant! My efforts will then finally be recognised... then you bitches be all up on me like cray cray!
Though seriously, stop it with the Illuminati bullshit already, or imma call Satan deal with yo ass! That's as ghetto as I can possibly get.
And erm, please don't sue me because this is all a lie, and as we all know, that's what servants of the devil love doing.