Yesterday I went to Geylang with Edrie, Khadijah, Sabrina, Shiela and Philana and not only was it my first time visiting Geylang (you may proceed to judge me) but it was also my first time staying the night at Hotel 81! Ok I'm just joking because I couldn't find any available ones that night. (I may or may not be joking about this one)

So apparently for every Ramadan there will be loads of bazaars at that area and let's just say my first experience there was not a pleasant one. That is mainly because it was so fucking hot when I'm not even covering up much. Go figure.

I've never been to places as bloody crowded as that before and I've seen more shop signs typed in Monotype Corsiva font than I can ever imagine. In addition to that, I even saw presidential candidate Dr. Tan Cheng Bock! I also endangered my life for about 10 times.

So while sweating like a cow I got molested about three times, molested about 50 other people and accidentally wiped sweat from my forehead using a tissue that had dropped on the floor earlier.

I also strongly believe that the amount of smoke produced from all the cooking is equivalent to the amount of pollution produced by the Chinese for the Hungry Ghost Festival.

But nothing that day could be more pleasant than having to try what I was really looking forward to trying...


My initial reaction to this was "What the fuck?" but as it turns out, it's HALAL BAK KWA!!! Which is usually made of beef or chicken, so of course I had to try it.

And so I did.

And it changed my life.

Not only did I get a foodgasm coupled with an epiphany, but I also felt like my life suddenly had meaning again. It was like a life-changing moment where I felt like my life was starting anew.

In other words, it was fucking amazing. This definitely goes onto the list of foods that taste way better than their non-halal counterparts. Bee Cheng Hiang can kiss the deng deng's sweet dengy ass.

Happiness in a bag

It looks very disgusting but hey, your _______'s _______ is also very ______ but you still eat it up like nobody's business right?

Unfortunately the price is rather ridiculous at 100g for $4, and 100g is about 2 pieces of that. So each square of deng deng is actually $2 but hey, if it tastes like food for the gods, then it's worth it.

I think what really makes it different from bak kwa is that it is less saltier, much sweeter and much softer. Of course the best part for me was that it was soft compared to bak kwa. They say bak kwa is more crispy but most of the time you eat it cold, so crisp simi crisp? It's just a hard... thing. I was never really a huge fan of bak kwa.

On a more pathetic note, I also tried the Ramly Burger for the first time in my life. Can you believe how sua ku I am? Unfortunately I bought one of the awful ones (apparently when it comes to Ramly Burgers, it all depends on your luck to find a decent-tasting stall) so... how lovely.

We also chanced upon this place that sold huge assed carpets and were also giving out balloons. (Which Lana went apeshit over) I was wondering why they were giving out balloons when they were promoting carpets and then I suddenly remembered of flying carpets. Get it? Cuz they sell carpets and give out balloons that fly? *ba dum tsh* Thank you thank you

On the way back home since this was somewhat a ~cultural exchange~ I decided to teach that racist Edrie something of my culture too! I taught him phrases like "si gin na", "orh see", "orh liu", "diu lei", "sei yan tao" and upon seeing Khadijah falling asleep, "fan dou lei sei ah!"

I wish I could have taken more photos but I didn't want my phone to contract chlamydia. /norelevance

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