Oh I see what you did there, manja!

To all my Malay friends or whoever who or whose parents bought last month's issue of Manja magazine, I would like to bring your attention to the page on Anugerah Planet Muzika. Specifically page 59!



"What is so special about this page? It's simply coverage on the event." You may say.

Let's zoom in a little bit.



You will question now - "Okay, but those are simply tweets that have been posted during the event to show what others thought about it. So?"



"What the fuck?"

If you do not know what this particular tweet actually means, don't bother going to Google translate and trouble yourself! I have the translation of the tweet right here!




Exact link if you don't believe me

The operative phrase here being "army did her good". That's right!

MAAAANJAAAAA TOOOKKK MYYYY TWEEEEEET!!!

Ahhhh!! I'm famous but not really! Omg they should have credited our usernames! What thieves! (I keed, I keed)

There are only 2 simple reasons why the tweet is definitely mine!


1) The common phrase "army did her good!"

I don't care if that doesn't mean anything because what are the odds? WHAT ARE THE ODDS YOU TELL ME?!?!?! How many people in Malaysia or Singapore will say that going to the army did her good? Most of them don't even care!

2) Because ONLY I HAVE THE BALLS TO BE RUDE TOWARDS A DATO (highly regarded title which can be conferred by a hereditary royal ruler, according to Wikipedia)

After the quotation marks they even jokingly said I was rude! Of course I was being rude! I was implying that she was fat leh! Who else would have the balls to call Siti Nurhaliza, the supposed ~voice of asia~, FAT? Me la! Everybody else is polite and have proper manners. Seriously, I'm an asshole.

So yes, thank you manja for making me feel like I am significant in this world! Hahahahaha!!! Eh but they shouldn't have called me rude, because they themselves are rude for not including the usernames of those who tweeted those!

That is pretty much all that I wanted to post about today. Don't you just like how my happiness is derived by stupid things like these?



p/s. #OnlyFatPeople is trending on Twitter and looking at the top tweets, as a fat person myself, I would like to defend this statement:


#OnlyFatPeople drink diet sodas with a full course McDonalds meal, thinking it's gonna make a difference.
The reason why I always choose diet coke even if I order shitloads of food is because I actually like the taste! I personally feel it's less sweeter than the original coke and I like it la! Let me drink what I want!

Nabei, like the taste also want to judge. It's like how I'm seemingly the only one who really likes the new non-carbonated root beer minty drink sold in the school canteen.

But I am proud to say that ever since I stopped drinking Coke altogether, diet or not, I've actually lost weight! Still fat nonetheless. As Edrie would say, I lose weight, but body fat percentage still the same!

Food for thought

The other day my Geography teacher was revising with us on the employment structure in a country.

And then it suddenly hit me.

How would you classify Prostitution?

Would you put it under Primary, Secondary, or Tertiary industries?

I mean, it should be under primary because it can be low-paying (it depends, really) and you don't need a high level of education to do so. Furthermore, it involves the extraction of something, and what else do you think they extract? That's right.

Yet on the other hand, it can be under tertiary because it services people!

So what do you think?

Primary - The extraction of materials provided by nature
Secondary - Processing of products

Tertiary - Any activity involving service or hospitality


So close yet so far

I think it's pretty sad that every time I try to schedule myself what I want to post I just end up missing it.

Anyway I went to see Dr Ho again a few days ago for my braces appointment! My first in 2 months when it's supposed to be 1. How rebellious.

No la I wasn't free. And since I'm done with all my homework and I am fucking sleepy, I thought it would be a really good time for me to blog.



I'm getting so bored with the colours already. I don't remember if there's a white coloured one (not transparent) but maybe from next month on I'll try if there is!



Once again, no difference because according to Dr Ho, right now I only need to get 2 things done:

1) To correct my bite
2) To shift my center line

Remember how I think in the previous one I was complaining about how my center line wasn't shifting? Apparently it was supposed to be like that permanently because of the different-sized teeth I extracted for both rows. I don't want that so I now need to put a third elastic in my mouth to align them together! In fact it's already aligned just that they weren't when I took the photo.

So yep! Once my bite is corrected, I can remove them already! How fast is that? Hopefully by December I'll be able to take them off, which would mean that it would only take me around 1 year and 5 months. My teeth are being more obedient than a dog!

I bowl like a boss



Yesterday was probably the first time I'm bowling in 5 years (Since P5) after I quit my bowling CCA and that shit is fun when there isn't an instructor telling you the correct way to bowl.

So DON'T JUDGE MY TECHNIQUE!




Only going to show the scores for half of the first game because Lana dethroned me after that. Speaking of bowling techniques, Lana's is to just saunter her way to the front and just swing her arm. What a cheater.



Second game



Third game eheheheheheh

Have fun rofl-ing at the way I bowl

Fat person rummaging through trash = priceless

I just came back from watching Spy Kids 4 which, by the way, is pretty decent for a family film. We were also given these... aroma scopes?



That supposedly has certain fragrances when the number flashes on the screen but most of the smells all smelt like car scents mostly because I wasn't doing it properly, except for one that was supposed to smell like shit but ended up being chocolate.

The smell fades away really quickly so you have to rub it near your nose while smelling it so you look like you're snorting cocaine but not really.


Anyway, when the movie ended and I was on my way out, I checked my pockets (because it's a habit I have) and I realised my handphone was not in my pocket. So while everyone was crowding the middle aisle on their way out, I had to squeeze my way through the crowd just to get back to my seat and check if my phone was there.

I was fucking panicking okay so my first instinct was that it was on the floor, but it wasn't. Not just that, but I also found out that all along I had been sitting below a pile of spilt muruku which definitely did not help the situation.

I even checked the floors of the rows infront and behind mine as if my phone was able to ninja mode all the way there and then I gave up. PEOPLE PANICKING RIGHT?

And then Edrie said...


 "Could it be in the trash bag?"
JENG JENEJGEJGNEJGNEGJEG!


I immediately exclaimed "OH MY FUCKING GOD!" to the whole damn theater which only had Shiela, Edrie and the GV staff cleaning up the trash. (more on the asshole later)


Edrie was repeatedly calling my phone so I felt the outside of the trash bag for any signs of my phone being there.

I FELT VIBRATIONS.

So I did what I had to do.

I SEARCHED THE TRASH BAG WHICH WAS HALF FULL OF JUNK.

LIIIIKKKEEEE AAAAA BEEEEGGGGGAAAAAARRRRRR


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 It was okay at first, and then I started touching the remnants of everybody's nacho cheese and soft drinks and even then, I was still undeterred from finding my phone. HELLO IT'S MY PHONE AND IT'S NOT LOST, IT'S THERE!

In the end Shiela was like "AIYA THE VIBRATION IS FROM THE SOUND LA THE MUSIC STILL PLAYING RIGHT" and she had a point, because by then I was already emptying articles one by one to see if it was there and it wasn't. Also, the vibrations were not there anymore even though Edrie was still calling my phone.


As it turns out, it was chillaxing like a boss in between 2 seats; mine and Shiela's whom was sitting beside me during the movie.


WHAT AN ANTI-CLIMAX.

JUDGE ME ALL YOU WANT I WAS PANICKING OKAY I DIDN'T THINK OF THE SEAT!!!!!


Enough about me, now I want to complain about the Golden Village staff.

At first, he was standing there at the exit in the theater (you should know) where he's holding up the trash bag for people to throw their shit in. (This can also be a personal recount of what goes on after you leave so you don't have to experience it yourself)

Afterwards, he would carry the bag up and place it somewhere while he would go around the theatre picking up the rubbish left by inconsiderate people.

Initially, I thought he would AT LEAST ask what the fuck I was doing kneeling doggy style unintentionally giving off penetration signals but no, he didn't utter a word! I thought he would at least assist me in searching for my cheebye phone, but no!

And when I had that epiphany that it could be in the trash bag, I stood up, turned around, stared at him right in his face which was staring back at me, and I screamed "OH MY GOD I THINK IT'S IN THE BAG!" and he just continued staring at me, blankly, like some deaf person AND I DOUBT HE WAS REALLY DEAF LA OKAY.

He didn't even AT LEAST give the green light for me to rummage through the trash bag, or offer some help, though even if I were a staff member I wouldn't stick my hand into the trash bag full of crap la.

And then even after I got back my phone and we were making our way down, Edrie took the effort to even apologize for what happened TWICE, and he didn't say a fucking thing.

CHAO CHEEBYE WHY YOU SO LIKE THAT? WHAT KIND OF SERVICE IS THIS GOLDEN VILLAGE? HUH HUH? I'M REALLY ANGRY NOW BECAUSE I KNOW IT WAS MY FAULT I KNOW I SHOULDN'T HAVE WORN PANTS WITH LOOSE POCKETS BUT STILL IT IS PART OF YOUR SERVICE TO ASSIST IF WE LOSE ANYTHING OKAY?

I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF YOU'RE SOME UNEDUCATED FUCKER WHO HATES HIS JOB BUT IF YOU ARE GOING TO WORK IN THE SERVICE SECTOR, YOU FUCKING DO YOUR JOB LIKE YOU SHOULD, OR ALL YOU'LL BE DOING IS PICK UP RUBBISH OFF THE FLOOR FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!!!


I am going to write in to GV to complain. So yes, now I feel like a piece of shit who touched junk and I feel like a motherfucking loser. Omg and I was wearing the school's PE T-Shirt! I'm so sorry Mr Gan for ruining the school's reputation, but desperate times call for desperate measures, i.e. searching through a trashbag like a G6.

CDs of the month! (#20)

Did anybody catch the VMAs? Gaga was a mess, Adele's performance was amazeballs and Beyoncé sung her ass off like nobody's business. Guuuurl~

And she's pregnant! So happy for them but I just hope the baby doesn't inherit Jay-Z's genes in the looks department if you know what I mean.





Agnes Monica's Agnes Is My Name (greatest hits) album! Which I bought when I went to Geylang the other time because it's the only place you can buy CDs from Indonesia / Malaysia.

In an effort to once again "expand my horizons" I have added Indo-pop to my repertoire of music-of-weirdass-foreign-languages-I-know-nuts-of-but-listen-to-anyway. But hey, music is a universal language! She's talented and sexy as well, so that's a plus.




She can get me paralyzed anytiiiIiIiiiIiIIiiimeeee guuuurl




(2011.08.03) Kaela Kimura - Kidoairaku Plus Ai
(2011.08.17) KyaryPamyuPamyu - Moshi Moshi Harajuku (Limited Edition | Photobook)
(2011.06.29) Superfly - Aa (First Press | Digipak)

Little miss I-just-gave-birth-but-I'm-still-stick-thin aka Kaela Kimura is back, bitches and her new song is pretty awesome.

The rationale behind buying Superfly's 1-track single is only because it's dirt cheap. Okay maybe not dirt cheap but cheap, and for once I managed to get the first press because they always sell out like nobody's business.

KyaryPamyuPamyu is some teen fashion model who just decided to release a mini-album but it's actually pretty decent. She is the definition of what I would call a "siao gin na" and I fell in loooOOoooOoove immediately after watching what will probably give you a seizure:


PON PON DASHITE SHIMAEBA II NO

I know you can't get enough of it. You lovezxz it, I lovezxz it!




(2011.08.17) Koda Kumi - 4 TIMES (CD+DVD)
(2011.08.17) Koda Kumi - 4 TIMES (CD Only)
(2011.08.17) Koda Kumi - 4 TIMES (Limited Edition)

Koda Kumi's 50th single! Only someone as batshit crazy as Kuu would release 50 singles in 11 years. And oh yeah the slutteh Kuu we all love is back

I bought all 3 editions (Actually there's 4, but the last one comes with some stupid camera and costs a leg and an arm) because you know, it's her 50th single and shit and since I've done it for Ayu's I thought it was only fair I did the same for her BFF!



Upon opening the limited edition. And no that is not another copy of the CD+DVD one it's just a one-track CD.

The little book thing on the other side is a postcard book with 50 pictures from her 1st single to her 50th!





Here's the first picture of her first single just for the lulz.

And since this is the 20th CDotM post, here's the 20th single one!


(20th single - Birthday Eve)

Other than that, 4 TIMES is probably one of the best summer singles Kuu has ever made, and is just as awesome as 4 hot wave! All 4 songs are really really good.

Unfortunately 4 TIMES does not mean having 4 sexy sexy times but she claims that each of the 4 songs is supposed to represent ~a certain period of time in a day~ or something along those lines.



Oh yeah motto jumpin jumpin, so poppin poppin




(2011.08.31) ayumi hamasaki - FIVE (CD+DVD)

Ayu's 2nd mini-album which, despite having only five songs, (hence the title, I know right?) is definitely a solid album. Even the cover is already hot as hell and I am proud to say it is photographed by fellow Singaporean, Leslie Kee who is the god of photography! Every photo he takes is gold.

This is the 8374th time I'm saying this but I would have liked ANother song better if Urata didn't decide to kill it. I did enjoy Why... with him featured though (which is a hidden track after BRILLANTE)

Speaking of which, BRILLANTE really does stand out from the other songs especially when I can hear "I GO BERAK" somewhere in the male chanting.





Check out Ayu's lulz-tastic tramp stamp. I like how there are more tracks on the DVD than on the CD which is supposedly the main thing.

I'm also part of the majority who thinks that Memorial address (her first mini) is still better than FIVE, but FIVE definitely does hold its own in Ayu's discography.

Besides, at the end of the day...