I WILL DANCE ON YOUR BOOBIES

Right now I'm in Eva's aunt's house in Baltimore for 2 weeks while I'm in the States!

Also, Thanksgiving is tomorrow! I will not pretend to take this day very seriously since, you know, unlike a certain Philana, I'm not American. I'm just looking forward to the good food and the good wine. Whoopsie. (Gonna drink till I'm someone else's problem)

Anyway I have been contemplating this idea for quite a while now along with getting a Snuggie here but I will not guarantee whether or not I'll carry on with it, so I just thought it would be nice to let me know what you think.

As you all know I have the CDs of the Month thing going to keep this site active, but since it is my holidays now for the next few months, I obviously like to keep myself busy (insert eye roll here) so this is what I thought of.

Maybe, for one day a week, most likely Wednesday, I'll source out a few stupid news articles to talk about in a post. What do you think? It's like highlighting funny news from the past week because I am obviously very good at educating people so I am doing you a favour by keeping you in the know. (insert another eye roll here)

But I don't think I'll be doing it EVERY week but only if I have articles that I think will particularly interest you people for the week, so it's not going to be a regular thing, though I will still publish it strictly on Wednesdays. How? Good or not?

The working title of it as of now is PNTWYT (pronounced pint-wit) -- Pointless News To Waste Your Time! How stupid is that? I loike.

Though like I said I may not carry it out in the end because I am thinking of finding a job after I get back (Oh my god!!!) so I may probably end up having little time to do so.

Nonetheless I am pulling a PAP here by asking people for their feedback before doing anything! Just slap my ass and call me Lee!

Bye!

I don't care about prom

As we all know, prom, as we all Singaporeans think we know it, is an absolutely SIGNIFICANT event which makes it imperative to have for all who graduate from secondary school.

Which is why it comes as NO SURPRISE when conflicts have been happening because apparently, we, as in my batch of graduated students, will not have a prom anymore.

WHAT AN ABOMINATION!!!

I have never cared for prom and I doubt I ever will but I just went on Facebook and saw that some smart ass decided to curse a certain teacher for cancelling prom, and feels that it is OUR RIGHT to DEMAND for an explanation!!!

Bitch, please.

First of all, we do not need to know the real reason why prom was cancelled, and just because a teacher doesn't tell you why, it doesn't give you the right to say shit about that person. Who died and made you the king of anything? Teachers don't owe you shit. Therefore, bitch please.

Secondly, why is it even organised by the student council? Didn't know people who maintain discipline in the school also know how to organise proms!

I never understood why extra tasks are always given to the SC even when it's irrelevant to their purpose. Frankly, I would reject the prom too knowing the SC organised this. "Travis you think you can do better?" Yes I can. Let's just face that things never go well when the SC is in charge. I have seen and heard enough. Therefore, bitch please x2

Lastly, proms are a bloody waste of time. I am personally damn glad it's cancelled so I won't feel obliged to attend the stupid event.

How many proms have remained memorable to students in Singapore?

Hardly any proms in Singapore will leave indelible memories within the attendees. It's always a half fucked, rushed job that almost always ends up being a failure or just winds up being just like any other normal event. What's the point?

Yea sure you'll be raving about it for the next few days or weeks, but 10 years down the road, will you be talking about the event again? Will you tell your kids about how great YOUR prom was? (And I don't mean telling them when they are having their own prom)

Meanwhile, a child is dying in Africa, so donate the funding for the event instead and do the world a favour. Give a Handy J, or take it one step further and go for a deepthroat once in a while.

Deal with the fact that we're not going to have a prom, so get your shit together and get over yourself. (AND DON'T SAY SHIT ABOUT MISS A BECAUSE SHE'S AWESOME.) Therefore, say it with me, bitch please. Oh, and YOU ARE LE PATHETIQUE /MacamEscargot

So long, suckas! (In this post, you will see a picture of my fat arm)

I am flying off for a vacation again and I feel that it is of utmost importance to inform you about it every time mainly because nobody bothers to listen to my crap.

So yes I'M FLYING TO THE US!!!

JUST CALL ME OPRAH CUZ I'M ABOUT TO GET FAT!

This will be the longest vacation I've ever had which lasts around 21-22 days, from 17 November to around 8 December (can't remember exact date). So excited!!! We will be spending Thanksgiving at Eva's aunt's house who resides there in Maryland and go for the Black Friday sales, which I never even gave a shit about! 

Here are some pictures I took when I went to get my flu vaccination, and guess who are the doctors working in the clinic?



Dr Tan Cheng Bock!!! Unfortunately, he wasn't in when we went. In fact I came here for my previous flu vaccination for the 2009 trip which was also not administered by him. We are not fated to meet :(

I guess this means I can't break the news to him that I am actually his son because when the both of us smile, our eyes can't be seen. Or maybe I'm just Asian. ANYWAY

Here's my fucking fat arm!



Talk about a KFC chicken wing. Anyway, I am showing you my arm not only to show you how brave I am for surviving an injection but also to prove to you that I am definitely not insecure about myself and at the time of writing I am not shaking and crying because of the several harpoons being pierced into my heart for showcasing my pig trotter-like arm. ... ... *wrist* *penknife* *down the river not across the stream*


I wanted to schedule some posts up to keep this blog active during my holiday but unfortunately, because I have a very tight schedule which mainly consists of me lolling in bed, I didn't manage to complete anything on time.

Fortunately, however, I will be able to blog during my spare time when I have access to Wi-Fi so you can expect some things to be up during this time! But no promises made! Oh ho ho ho ho!
 
I would also like to announce that as of now, it is TOO LATE to ask me to buy things for you!!! Hahahahaha! Shove it up your arse! I'll buy things for people I wanna buy things for!

In the meantime, just to tide you over, here are some pictures I took from a LONG LONG time ago, way back in August or something.




Went Kite-flying!



A condom I happened to chance upon at Jurong Central Park. But nothing much was happening when I went there recently at 3AM leh!

And in case you are wondering if there was any semen inside, yes, there was, and I know because I checked, being the pervert that I am known so well for. (I didn't touch the thing la, so I don't have syphilis.)


My flight is at 6am so I have to be at the airport at 4am, sigh. And the icing on the cake is that I have to travel to Japan which takes 7 hours followed by another flight to Atlanta, which takes 13 HOURS.

Say hello to my sore butt, and I'm not even getting backdoor action. Go figure.

I am a hypocrite with 4 asses

Yesterday was the official end of my O Levels and I am fucking happy. But that is not the topic of today's post.

Last week I got something which my friends on Facebook and Twitter would know, and in a shocking turn of events, it's something that I never liked before.

That is none other than an...




























iPhone 4SsSSsSssSSssSSSssSSssSSSSss!!!

I know right? Travis is such a hypocrite, ur hur hur.

But in my defense my issue with the iPhone initially was its overheating problems which became less of a concern as the years went by. Besides, I have to admit the design of the phone is bloody sexy. Truth be told, I never liked the original design with the tapered sides. So ugly!

Plus it's already been 2 years since my last phone and right now I don't like any of the new phones out in the market except for this, and I don't want to get a Samsung. (It's a visceral thing, can't be helped)

I got the Black one because the White one was getting too "mainstream" given it being the center of attention lately, and who doesn't like an African American? ;) If you know what I mean...

I did seriously consider getting the white one because I already had the prescience that I would be the type of people who would buy a lot of cases and change them regularly (currently drafting a post about cases but it may or may not surface) and the white one just seems more versatile with cases. In the end I decided to fuck that and get a black one because at least it doesn't look like a Nokia phone, and we all know Nokia is virtually non-existent now.

Speaking of cases, the cases are so fucking expensive! I wanted to get a simple, plain, white-coloured case (talk about contradicting myself) but when I went to take a look at epicenter the day I bought my phone it's $79! It's not even made of white gold! Not value for money at all. Even cases in the US aren't that expensive.






I'm also having the time of my life downloading loads of apps and I can't get enough of Temple Run. I fucking know right? I'm retarded. My favourite apps may or may not include Grindr ;) (I keed, I keed. Or am I?)

So as you may know by now one of the major upgrades of the iPhone 4S from the iPhone 4 is the camera which is now an 8MP camera and may I just say that the pictures it takes are really, really, sexy.

Here are some camera samples I took which are absolutely unedited and all in their original form except I resized them.







"Nabei you resize so small any picture also look nice la" _|_



And of course since this post is about the iPhone 4S, it's not complete without talking about Siri!

Admittedly I didn't give a shit about Siri when it was announced. I never liked things that used voice recognition based on the simple fact that I am Singaporean so whatever I say naturally isn't going to be understood by the phone.

I did try it anyway and it's correct 80% of the time when I set in on the United States one. On the United Kingdom one, however, everything I say ends up being shit which is ironic because we learn British English here. I can say "Fuck you" on the US setting but it comes out as "For you" on the UK setting.




I wanted to film a video of me trying out the Siri function including curse words and all that and I did film it but after editing the video I realised that it's really draggy (total ~5mins).

Maybe because I was talking quite slowly and when I exported the video, the aspect ratio was 4:3 instead of 16:9 so I got pissed and decided not to upload it LOL.

But it's not like you're missing out on anything since there are ample videos on YouTube trolling Siri!

That's all I have to say about the iPhone 4S and I'm liking it so far!

Before I end off this post, some people really need to get over themselves for saying "I'm disappointed with the 4S so I'm waiting for an iPhone 5."

Bitch, please. What makes you think a change of a number means it will DEFINITELY be a completely different design?

Who knows, they could have announced what is the 4S now as the iPhone 5 and I doubt there will even be an iPhone 5 anymore. If it's gonna be any number, it's an iPhone 6 since the 5th generation iPhone is the 4S. The iPhone 4 just happened to coincide with it being the 4th generation iPhone. Common sense? I personally am waiting for the iPhone 69.

CDs of the month! (#22)

First of all, I sincerely apologise because I wanted to blog about this around 4PM-ish but I forgot! I know right? But in my defense I fell asleep after watching an episode of Chelsea Lately because I laughed until I got too exhausted.


(2011.10.12) Kaela Kimura - 8EIGHT8 (CD+DVD | Limited Edition | Bonus Slipcase)

The  ~long awaited~ (or so they say) studio album from new mother Kaela Kimura!!! Apparently they had this first press slipcase that has different coloured webs printed on it, in which case normal online stores like CDJapan got the white one which I have.

Other shopping sites like Tower Records and HMV got different colours like HMV got purple webs printed on it. Cool or whuuuut.

But having a white web printed is so pointless because the cover is mostly white so it's barely visible. I, however, like that the album is housed in a book-like packaging! The album's also pretty good. I was lukewarm with it at first, but then it grew on me and it's naise. A little bit like a mix of Scratch and HOCUS POCUS. *silently prays for another hardcore rock album like +1*


(2011.09.28) Angela Aki - WHITE (CD+DVD | Limited Edition)

Another person who is jumping on the "Hey y'all I'm pregnant" bandwagon except she's not having a shotgun marriage because she's already long married!

Came with a postcard just like her previous studio album. Honestly as a studio album this album is pretty weak, but there are some pretty solid songs on it, though there are also songs that are a snoozefest. Oh well, she's pregnant, so I forgive her.


(2001.09.27) ayumi hamasaki - Dearest

Got this really ancient Ayu single from AHS because someone was selling it for a really cheap price, so of course buy la!

And that is all for le CDs of le month. Just to tell you upfront, next month's CDotM will also be on the second week (ie. 10 December). I promise this will only be a two-time thing ;_; ... for 2011 *trollface*



I am pure, innocent, virginal etc etc

The date tomorrow is 11/11/11 and everyone knows it is a SIGNIFICANT event and because of that, look how many fucks I give:








This once in a century day, just like any other day, will be a day where people are gonna party, couples having dry sex lives will finally shove sausages down donuts and of course, on the very next day, the news headlines will be "COUPLE GETS MARRIED ON 11/11/11"

And since we're touching on marriage I shall make the perfect transition to me seeing my orthodontist at long last again! After about 1.5 months and not putting on my elastics as I have been instructed to do.




With that said I was surprised I made any progress at all!

I'm putting on white bands this time because I wanted a clean-looking colour and everyone knows I am a clean person. Both physically. And mentally. ;)







So... This time I have good news AND bad news.

The good news is that I might be able to get my braces off by Christmas! Apparently all I need left is to simply center both rows of teeth because I am a tight arse.

The bad news is that I HAVE A TOOTH IN ITS INITIAL STAGE OF DECAY.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

If you look closely at the picture, it is the first tooth to the left of my left front tooth.

See that discoloured white patch there? Yea. THAT.

WA FUCKING SCARY!!! I didn't know it would be white first before turning brown!

Upon quick research, I shall turn on my geek mode. When the bacteria makes your mouth too acidic they will start to break down the calcium in the tooth, and the whitening is the beginning of the decaying process since it ~breaks the barrier~ of your tooth before it affects the core or something like that.

Fortunately I might be able to save it if I use fluoride mouthwash to speed up the mineralisation process before it reaches the point of no return, and this may or may not seem sexual.

So yes I am very excited to get my teeth over and done with! I'll also have a new post up on Saturday for CDoM and we'll see what to do with my tragic life from there.

p/s. And to Yahoo, fuck you. I don't need to add you on Facebook to read news. I DON'T. So shove it up your arse.

Hellz yeah



IT'S OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY 'O' LEVELS ARE DONE!!!!

Actually technically, it's not done yet because my last paper is on the 14th.

But that's Science Paper 1 and let's face it -- IT'S NOTHING! So who cares?! I'm underestimating it because I know I'll be able to do well for it.

Talk about doing well... I feel like the ammonia gas in a heated ammonium salt -- LIBERATED! I can't believe I've cleared everything!

The exams were rather smooth-sailing for me. Here's a quick summary of how I think I did for each paper:

English Language

English Paper 1 - It was fucking SERENDIPITOUS I'm telling you. The one-word topic was "Freedom", and I did an essay prior to the paper on the very same topic, which Ms Lin even said was probably my best work ever! I would be stupid not to write it again right?!

English Paper 2 - It was manageable. I've been weak in Paper 2 all along but I think I'll be able to scrape through. I did one incredibly stupid mistake though! For the passage they asked to find another word synonymous to "spectacular" and the answer was "magnificent" BUT I don't know WHAT was wrong with my eyes because I COULD NOT FIND IT AT ALL and settled for "exciting". Oh wellz.

E-Maths
I was really, really pleased with how I did for the papers. I only lost around 3 marks for each paper, provided the answer sheet that has been floating around is accurate. Which means overall, I only lose 3 marks. Really crossing my fingers, toes and butt cheeks for this one. If the A1 cuts off at 98... OK NO IT WON'T I'LL GET MY A1 MUAHAHAHA

Computer Studies
I think about 85% of what I studied didn't even come out. But that's the thing about CS - it's not about the content, it's all about logical thinking skills! With that said, when I saw the paper, I COULD NOT BELIEVE MY EYES. It is ridiculously easy especially after the shock that was the 2011 June paper.

In fact this year was the first time they scrapped the terminology section. However, they put in something BETTER. Instead of giving you the term and asking you to define it, this time, for 3 marks' worth of questions, THEY GIVE YOU THE DEFINITION AND YOU NAME THE TERM. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? NEITHER CAN I.

And they even had the classic primary school box matching where you match the definition to the term! 5 marks! Just slap my ass and call me Sally!

A-Maths
I was really really pleased with how I did for A-Maths!! I think I only lost around 2 marks for Paper 1 and about 2-4 marks for Paper 2. Seriously, I preempted that this year tangent graph sketching would come out AND IT DID! BOW DOWN AND CALL ME GOD NOW.

Speaking of God, Ms Ho was like "Tangent graph very easy one what! Like drawing sexy woman like that!" LMAO

Combined Science

Science (Chemistry) - Chemistry was manageable. I am happy with how I did for the paper, especially given that Chemistry was one of the subjects I studied REALLY hard for.

Except for the FIRST question, the one where they asked you to name an apparatus for something, there was one which said "Transferring 250cm³ of water to a beaker". I initially wrote "Measuring Cylinder", but thought where got measuring cylinder so big one.

So I cancelled it and wrote "Measuring Cup" (What happens when you spend too much time in the kitchen) because I remembered during the Science practical we were given a measuring cup to scoop water into a beaker! Alas, when we asked Mdm Lock after the paper, it was Measuring Cylinder.

Science (Physics) - I have said this a thousand times before. I really do not like Physics at all! Which is why I didn't study as hard for Physics as I did for Chemistry! Fortunately enough, the paper was really manageable, so I am quite confident for an A2 for Science! An A1, not so much, but an A2 seems really possible now, which makes me really satisfied considering Science is my second weakest subject after Chinese.

Combined Humanities


Geography - Urgh! I felt like shit for this paper, seriously. Not that I screwed it up big time. The thing is that I don't think I'll be able to get 40+ marks! I know people are already struggling to get 30+ and here I am, complaining that I can't get 40, but I REALLY need to get an A1 for Humanities. I REALLY NEED IT. Unlike most of you who probably don't even intend to use this subject in your L1R4.

Social Studies - This gave me renewed hope for Combined Humanities, hehehehe. I tell you ah, the setter of this paper is a freaking TROLL. A TROLL! Here's why:

Globalisation already came out for 2009 and 2010. You would think it would almost be impossible for it to come out for the third year in a row. That's what I thought, and I'm sure so did a lot of people. WE THOUGHT WRONG! BAM! CAME OUT FOR THIRD YEAR IN A ROW! Talk about getting troll'd.

BUT THAT'S NOT THE END OF IT!

Many schools I believe predicted that Deterrence and Diplomacy would come out because it did not come out for 5 years. True enough, it came out. BUT - it combined with the other chapter of the theme; transnational terrorism, which is a fucking rare occurrence. TROLL'D AGAIN.

Fortunately, the final SEQ question was on Sri Lanka, which I am quite confident of doing well in because I did both essays before! And the SBQ was really manageable so I am quite pleased. In fact, after completing the SBQ and SEQ I still had 10 minutes to spare leh! So I went to write weighing for my SEQ. Write finish, still got 3-4 minutes, so I just read my answers one more time. I've never had so much free time for SS ever!

So yes, I can't say for sure how well I'll do for this examinations so time will tell in 3 months to come! I hope for the best! Speech day buffet!

I'm sure a lot of people will be throwing or selling away their books after the O Levels but honestly speaking I don't think I'll be throwing away everything.

Nabei, I slogged my ass off for months, obviously I'm not going to just throw it away like that. I'll probably keep some for memory's sake! I am really just finding an excuse because I am a hardcore hoarder.

I don't even know if I want to find a job because I am really lazy and since many students have already graduated, I really can't be bothered to compete with them for a job. I'll probably take these few months to rest because I DESERVE IT!


I have so many things I want to blog about too!!! Jalan Raya pics from a long time ago, graduation day, and so much more! I will probably be blogging quite a lot within the next few months because I am so ~inspired~ to write, so good for you, good for me! This shall be my part-time job except I'm not getting paid :( sad.


p/s. I know CDoM is supposed to be up today but I'm going to delay it till next Saturday because I can.