*in an accent like a sir* I've been wanting to talk about this prevalent issue ever since the day it has surfaced predominantly on the Internet. Namely Facebook and Twitter.

As you may or may not have figured from the post's title, this widespread international crisis, pandemic, disaster etc. etc. is something you most likely have experienced.

Yep, one-word replies. 

But first of all to keep things organised, I think this issue affects 2 different types of people: the sayers and the doers. Or as I like to call it, the whiny sensitive and the no-nonsense time saver.

Why the whiny sensitive?

Because I have seen one TOO MANY people COMPLAINING about how pissed they are when people give one-word replies while having an SMS conversation.

Common grouses include:
1. I cannot stand people who give one-word replies. Might as well you don't reply at all.
2. Just reply Potassium if you're just going to reply "K" because I am a smartass in Chemistry
3. (sobbing) I am so hurt by one-word replies and I have had enough. Where is a penknife when your wrist needs it?
As a "doer" myself, and on all the doers' behalf, this is a special little gift for you:

*~*~*~*~*~*~ _|_ ~*~*~*~*~*~* 


So, I see you have some sort of ~larger than life persona~ that makes you deserve the attention of everybody you text to.

It's not that I'm assuming or generalizing, as many people love to use the latter word to defend themselves with.

It's just that based on personal experiences, I have come to observe that the people who say shit like that more often than not make themselves come across as selfish and obnoxious.

I mean, getting pissed over text conversations like this:
A: Hi, is there any homework today?
B: Yes
A: What would that be?
B: Chemistry
A: Ok thank you very the muchy love you muack muacks
and then going on to Twitter to post this:
A (@A)
I fucking hate idiots who always can't be bothered to reply with full sentences. Always one-word reply. Kanina.
...is fucking selfish, obnoxious and also desperately attention-seeking.

Yes, maybe B is at fault. For what? For not stating the subject in the first place, thus causing the unnecessary need of A to reply an extra "What would that be?". Other than that, there's nothing wrong what! Besides, shouldn't you be taking note of your own damn homework?

The basic principle behind this conversation here is simply asking what homework there is, isn't it? Doesn't that answer your question?

OH! I get it now. I'm so sorry, I didn't know there is some sort of unwritten rule somewhere that I am supposed to also ask if you've masturbated yet. I'm sorry, I promise I won't do it again :( (and I may or may not be talking about...)

And the thing is that people even go on expecting a FULL SENTENCE! OH, you mean you can't get the point if it isn't a simple word? Here's one:

What is the difference in terms of MEANING between these 2 sentences? (based on above example)
- Chemistry
- That would be the Chemistry subject that has homework assigned to by the teacher, my dearest majesty.

 What is it that's your argument now? Oh, right. The first sentence comes off as "rude" and "impolite" to you.

So you're telling me now that a simple text message with no smileys or no superfluous "lol"s makes you angry?

I really don't get it. You asked a question, I answered it. Problem solved, shut the fuck up. What is this? Telepathy? When I sent the message your brain automatically registers that "This fucker is uninterested in you and therefore is being rude intentionally. Kill this motherfucker now."

It's totally fine if you want a conversation to go on. But if you're going to want it, you're gonna have to make the first move.

You want to eat McDonald's so badly but you're lazing at home? Fork out the $3.50 and order your shit yourself instead of asking somebody else in the living room, watching television comfortably on the sofa.

Then there comes a whole new set of problems: What if I didn't simply ask a question like that? 
A: Oh my god I just saw a cow!
B: Holy shit! No way! Was it jumping over the moon?
A: Lol, of course it wasn't!
B: K.
And then A starts to bitch and moan again.

Usually with a telltale sign like this, this could go both ways. B is either busy or simply doesn't give a fuck.

Here is an actual real life example. One of my friends, A, texted another friend, B, to which B replied a one-word reply because he was in a middle of something important to attend to and didn't want to spend too much time on the phone.

What happened next? Surprise surprise! A texted back, evidently pissed at how impolite the one-word reply was. 

Which brings back to my point of them being selfish and obnoxious. Carrying on from the first example, if B genuinely wanted to talk, he/she wouldn't be trying to bring the conversation to a stop with a "K".

Just because you texted me I'm supposed to continue the flow? Is that an obligation, you're saying?

It's exactly the same thing as calling a person up, only having the other party saying "Sorry I'm kinda busy, maybe call me back later?" isn't it, albeit in a more subliminal way.

Which brings the bitching and moaning to a completely different level of blame-pushing: "If you don't want to talk, just say so, don't waste my time."

Uh oh! Who's wasting whose time here now? At least with saying a simple word to get the meaning across that you really don't give a shit, you're saving so much more time compared to simply typing "Busy now, ttyl" which, correct me if I'm wrong, is 3 words! That's 300% more words than a simple "lol"!

At least B made the effort to be amused by how you saw a jumping cow. What is he supposed to reply after that? "Ok, I'll talk to you another day, thank you very much for telling me about this incident. You know what else is jumping up high into the sky? The fuck that I actually give."

Which brings me back to my point of why we are called the time savers.

Based on the example given, it is already clear by the end that the conversation has come to a dead end. If it's going nowhere why should I be bothered?

At least if I reply a simple "K" it is a sign of acknowledgement as opposed to totally ignoring it. There's no point in making an aimless conversation drone on and on and on.

Is there REALLY a problem with just ending the conversation with a simple word like "Fuck", or "Bye"?

Besides, if it is a friend who is texting that to you, are you going to get angry over such a trivial matter?


And with regards to the Potassium thing which I have seen and heard ENOUGH OF, let's get technical here.

So you think that it is, supposedly, BETTER to reply "Potassium" than to reply "K"? Hilarious.

Does "K" and "Potassium" convey the same message?


Does "Potassium" also have 900% more words than "K"?


Is it also likely that the other party might be confused, be it by 1 nanosecond or 1 year, if you reply "Potassium"?


Would that therefore lead to a subsequent requirement of more time wasted if you have to explain the whole Potassium-better-than-K issue given the person remains bewildered?



The most important message of this here is that the point is sent across, dipshit. I believe that is the essence of a text message, or any form of communication.

Is it truly a must for me to be so extremely sensitive to your feelings of how my reply is supposedly rude based on your phone's screen?

Sometimes I am very busy and people SMS me small matters like "You're left-handed right? Eh go check your testicles and see if your right one hangs lower!" to which I would typically reply "Lol k" or "k".

I don't waste my time typing "I'm so sorry, I am very busy, I'll check it out later. Thanks!"

If you're really so angry over this, then just make a phone call in future, because that's what I do when I want to talk to people. Texting is a bloody hassle.

And another thing: grow a pair. I text whatever and whenever I want to. It's not my fault that you're sensitive to such frivolous issues. Meanwhile, I donated money recently!

Since we're on the topic of phones, I would also like to give this to people who say "Don't even own a phone if you're not going to pick up your calls" or shit like that:

 *~*~*~*~*~*~ _|_ ~*~*~*~*~*~* 

Because unlike you, we don't stay by our phones all day long, hoping for a phone call or a message to come by, little brown ring called the asshole! I could be shitting. I could be in a meeting. Or I could be doing something else ;)

The point is, pui chao nua, who are you to decide who should own a phone and who should not? Once again, selfish and obnoxious. Also desperately seeking attention.

So the bottom line is that people who are pissed over the doers should really stop complaining. I wanted to say something more vulgar, but I was thinking that would prooobably be too rude since they are seemingly too damn sensitive.

But just to clear things up, this is an opinion-based post. You don't have to agree with me and neither do you have to. I'm completely up for any other ~logical~ reasoning that you have, and that does not include "fuck your mother".

Ur hur hur I'm so irritating and it offends you

I think I am a very entertaining person, if I may shamelessly say so myself.

Unfortunately this has caused someone at the Somerset outlet of my workplace to take offense at the words I have said through the phone. OMG I'M SO PISSED ok here's the story:

A customer wanted me to call the other outlets to check if they have stock for a certain piece of clothing.

As usual, the people at the Somerset outlet did not pick up the phone which is totally fine because I totally understand that they can be busy and picking up a phone is of the last priority!

But since the customer seemed to be really hard up over it I kept calling and calling over and over again until they FINALLY picked up!

When they finally did I decided to JOKINGLY, may I repeat, JOKINGLY say "The phone must be very irritating hor hahahaha" (The laugh was really there) and the person was like "...not really"

So everything was going fine and they told me to call them back in 10 minutes while they checked so it was just like any other stock check there.

Then when I called back, another person picked up the phone, who I assume was the supervisor. She asked for my name and there was this pause while she said something inaudible in the background. This was how the conversation that ensued went:
She: Did you say anything to my staff just now?
Me: Yea... I asked her to check for the stock lor
She: No, as in before that
Me: Oh yea haha I just asked if the phone was being very irritating
She: Oh, but the reason why we did not pick it up was because we were BUSY, not because it's irritating that's why we never pick up
She: Yea but I'm trying to say that our staff here is very busy and cannot pick up the phone all the time. It's not funny at all.
Me: Oh... so you're offended... I'm really sorry (I WAS SINCERE FOR REAL)
And then afterwards she said they weren't done checking for the stock so I have to call back AGAIN. As if that didn't add on to the agony!

I was feeling so guilty and I told my colleague who promptly said "She so attitude, she last night never get is it!" LOLOLOLOL

 The worst part was when I finally called back for the third time, she said they didn't carry the stock, and when I replied with a "Thank you very much" SHE HUNG UP WITHOUT SAYING BYE!

Omg at first I felt really bad and really guilty for offending her unintentionally but that was the last straw that broke the cameltoe's back!


I don't get why she misunderstood what I had said to be offensive?! Really what! It's not like I was even ACCUSING her the tone was anything but accusatory!

And who said that I said they didn't pick up the phone BECAUSE I was being very irritating incessantly calling back? IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY LOGICAL SENSE!

Bloody shit! It got me soooo pissed and the thing is I've already apologized but they're not taking any of that! I DON'T TAKE ANYONE'S SHIT OK!

I know the life of a cashier can be really boring and I am trying my best to lighten up the mood, not be a bitch, and try to cheer them up by joking around with them but NOOOOO

Apparently they think that some Chinese boy asshole by the name of Travis is spoiling their night playing a fool by being a fucking cheebye with an attitude!

GET A FUCKING SEAT! Even getting your supervisor into this?! What are you even gonna do? COMPLAIN TO YOUR STORE MANAGER ABOUT THIS?

I can't believe the staff at the Somerset outlet can be such bitches! JUST LIKE THEIR CUSTOMERS who Eva and Adeline would always complain about. At least the staff at Vivo City like to joke around too when I'm on the phone with them! Friendly people, I loike.

Mark my words when I say I will NEVER call the Level 1 staff anymore. I will call Level 2 instead. But it's not like it matters since I only have 2 days left working at this job, but still. SUCK ON IT I hope you'll never get promoted. BOTH OF YOU.

I also hope the supervisor gets food poisoning. Diarrhea-rate out the bitch within.

Orh hor I tell your mother

I just came back from volunteering as a ~guest instructor~ for my school's Red Cross NCO camp! I don't really have anything much to say but the general consensus is that it is, for the most part, shit.

I was there pretty much to help with the interviewing panel and that didn't wasn't really as interesting as I thought it would have been but hey, I don't regret going for it at all. Kinda sad to see them in that state but I guess we have to embrace the fact that uniformed groups will never be what they used to be anymore.

In other news, I just permed my hair.

But by perm I don't mean like Ronald McDonald kind but it gives my hair more volume and more body to it.

It's not supposed to be curly but it makes it wavier which I like a lot. After all I've been having REALLY straight hair for the past 17 years and I think I should do something different. Maybe I'll even try going curly next time just to see how it's like LOL.

But before I went for the actual perm everybody said I'll look like Lee Min Ho, except I don't even know how he looks like until I did a Google search. My hair really look a bit like his leh. HAHAHAHAHA

Speaking of which I want to clarify that I never wanted the perm simply to emulate those Korean idols that everyone is obsessing over!

It all started when I went to the salon near Eva's house a few months back to get my hair a little trim. At the end the hair stylist said, "Actually you should perm your hair leh! Will look very nice!" and then since then I was like HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM... because a perm has never crossed my mind before!

So yep, that's how I decided to get it done. I'm also intending to colour it brown soon because it'll cost cheaper as I signed a package when I went to perm my hair.

The process was pretty boring though because it took 2 hours, and your head is soaked in this sulfur-smelling chemical with curlers all over. But the end result... when he unveils the towel... BAM! You will look bloody different. In a pleasant way, of course.

So yea I'm happy that I'm able to pull it off because I find that a perm is generally something that only looks good on some people, not most. LOL.

Why do a lot of old women like to perm their hair though? I swear I've never ever seen both my grandmothers with straight hair all my life, and I highly doubt that they naturally curl like that. Age doesn't make your hair curl right? Does it? Hmm...

USA 2011 Part 2.1 -- I'M ON A BOAT ("I was on a boat" - Grammar Nazi)

For the second day that we spent in Nashville, as tourists, of course we have to go for the day tour! In addition to that in the night we also have a boat ride on this riverboat called the General Jackson, which is also a tourist attraction.

This is my breakfast for the day which was bought the day before. A honey bun! Which is seriously one of the sweetest things I've ever tasted but that shit was good. Totally worth the calories, and I don't even know why Lady Gaga threw it away in the Telephone video.

And furthermore it was cold! Like out-of-the-fridge cold because of the weather, which is a good thing because there was no mini-fridge in the hotel room.

So we used the weather to our advantage by putting things like orange juice, yoghurt etc on the window ledge to make it cold HAHAHAHA smart or what!

Here are some pictures taken while on the tour bus to our first destination. Surprise surprise, almost the entire bus was filled with old people. The only teenagers were Eva and I.

I don't know what this is, but I thought we'd be getting down here only to find out they were just gonna drive by it.


Check out the lulz advertisement on the bench

I forgotten what they are constructing but the place is going to be so big that it will only be completed in 2013 / 2014!

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Our first destination which is the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum!

Le ticket with Carrie Underwood being the only person I know there

Some pictures taken during the exhibition

Elvis Presley's Cadillac. Because we all know how relevant he is to country music.

Your best friend

Check this out y'all!

One of the many Elvis Presley records put on display. More than 6 million copies sold, action babi.

A recording studio which looks too complicated for me to comprehend

More records on display

Then we went back to the Ryman Auditorium which we watched the Grand Ole Opry at the night before. This time it's to ~learn about its history~ although I barely remember anything... but still.

This is me trying to act cool shit on the stage, only to look like I have a dick in my mouth.

The auditorium which isn't really that big

~Macam Church~

Hanky panky

Oh, Roy! Oh, Roy! ;) (I'm going to hell)

And believe it or not that was the end of our tour! LOL! Actually there was a tour guide with us on the bus who only briefly went through the history of some buildings and stuff but didn't get to go there. So we only managed to go to those 2 places, but it's good enough because for some reason, I can't for the life of me ever enjoy country music.

I took this picture while on the bus ride back to the hotel and this is a rather creepy picture for me because I can partially remember one of the dreams I had that I swear was at this exact place so I was all deja vu and shit!

There are actually many of the black pillars there with a year written on them and I can remember in my dream that the sky was orange, casting a lurid, misty glow everywhere. There were a lot of dead leaves on the ground which coincidentally were orange too!

And I can even remember that there were a lot of brooms around and I had to sweep them up for some weird reason. Strangely enough, I even had some of my friends there sweeping with me too.

I don't know what's creepier - the deja vu moment or dreaming about being a road sweeper.

Looks like a sacred holy place where sacrifices are made but not really

When we were dropped off we went sightseeing around town and decided to drop for lunch here:

Margaritaville, which I may or may not have taken a sip or two or ten of. Ahem.

The waitress who led us to our table didn't know where Singapore was! We said it was located in Asia. (Insert YOU DON'T SAY? picture here LOL.) But I also went on further to say that it wasn't located in China so it's all good, it's all good.

There was also this nice lady in stilts walking around folding balloon hats for us... and guess what!

She made one for me, the only Asian with a balloon hat in the restaurant! Ok, to be fair we were the only Asian ones there but still. And she knows where Singapore is. Plus, she's hot. So yay.

Come to think of it, it looks like a penis. Which would therefore make my head the scrotum. Lovely.

This is Eva's classic steak

Her mother's clásico americano cheeseburger

And this is my big plate of Surf n Turf! 

The vegetables sucked really badly though. Also, I thought the yellowish ball on top of one of the shrimps was something nice and edible as a whole, so I tried a rather big piece. As it turns out, it's garlic. FUCK MY LIFE. 

The beef and shrimp was fantastic though, to the point where I don't care if it is fattening or not.

After our meal the waitress even asked us if we wanted cheesecake for dessert when we were already bloated as hell! My goodness! In fact, they even asked if we wanted any starters at first. 

I can never get myself to finish a 3 course meal in America, seriously. Maybe I can, but I'll be so disgusted with myself afterwards that I'll have to go to the toilet to voms my noms.

We also saw these the moment we stepped out of the restaurant!

The woman at the right looks creepily like Smosh's Ian's mum.

Kawaii ne! Look at the tiny one! 

Afterwards we dropped by American Apparel where I bought 2 M-sized T-Shirts that I regret buying because they are too big!!! I have overestimated my fatness... (Note to self: ALWAYS TRY THE CLOTHES BEFORE BUYING)

We also dropped by some souvenir shops to buy nonsense like fridge magnets that my mother is obsessed over. 

There also happened to be this little bitch manning this roadside stall selling caps whom, upon seeing us, promptly put her hands together, bowed and be all "Ni hao!" and shit. FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU-

Then since we were so free we decided to find our way to the Greyhound bus station by foot so that we'll know where to go there and how far it is because we'll be going somewhere else via the station the next morning! ooOOoooOOooo

As it turns out, it was a fucking long walk. 

We even had to walk up this stupidly steep slope for fucking eternity while at the same time tackling one of the strongest winds I've ever experienced. Like gurl, my hair be all ova my face! My scarf be smacking ma face!


This hilarious car right outside the station which, as we would find out later, would turn out to belong to guess who? An Asian woman!!! Evidently proud of her roots, and by roots I mean bamboo shoots. ~I am lame beyond wurds~
As if things wouldn't get anymore stereotypically lulz, the woman at the bus station was named SHANAY as her name tag would have it! She looked half-black though.

And about that silly phallic-looking balloon, I thought I would be able to find a child who would want to have it but unfortunately I did not so I ultimately threw it away in the rubbish bin. What a waste! 

Anyway it kinda unraveled itself because on the way there the wind was so fucking strong it literally flew around from side to side, and there may or may not be an image of a swinging penis in your mind right now.

Later in the night like I mentioned we went on the General Jackson boatride for our dinner. The bus that took us there only had us, another couple from Illinois who happened to have also went to the Grand Ole Opry, the day tour with us AND stayed in the same hotel as us as well as another young couple from Switzerland where the dude kinda looked like Russell Brand.

Check this out y'all

While we were having our meals we also had musical performances so it was pretty cool. Unfortunately my back was facing the stage so I had to keep turning and turning and turning and turning

Some salad which tasted amazingly fresh

Beef short ribs for our main which was a tad too salty for me, but quite nice.  Believe it or not, that fancy looking shit at the top right is actually a roasted potato! Are you puking rainbows yet?

Dessert which was an apple strudel with some other stuff I can't remember. Definitely low-cal!!! Very sour though, didn't enjoy it that much.

Some photos of the sexeh performances

They sang Christmasy songs since it was right around the corner

The old man there was an audience member, who if I'm not wrong was celebrating the 60th anniversary of his marriage! Damn hilarious how the singers acted seductive and shit in front of his wife.

During the whole time we were seated with the couple from Illinois again (as luck would have it) and another one from either Texas or Louisiana, can't remember which one again. They're all nice and really sociable people. We shared with them things about Singapore and they shared with us things about their country too. 

So as a whole, we couldn't have spent this day any more touristy than it was and on the return trip the couple from Switzerland decided to sit all the way at the back so I suspect some heavy sexy sexy action going on there!

It's the last full day we spent in Nashville but it was not our last night there! Because we spent the whole of the next day in... MEMPHIS!

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Sorry for the lack of updates recently again!!!

I know I should've done a CDotM post last Saturday but I didn't even have anything to post so there isn't one for this month. How money-saving!

I also have to do up all my enrolment crap, order my MacBook from NP because it's compulsory for all media students and other stuff.

But yesterday I spent my night with the part-timers from my workplace so it was pretty fun! Maybe when the pictures are uploaded onto Facebook I can post them up here as well soon.

And since it's my day off and I am so free I'll spend the time to continue drafting up my posts during my USA trip 10 years ago!

While I still have the time to blog I shall share what might be one of the most retarded moments in my life that happened yesterday.

I was working and talking to Taufiqah with Desmond and Vivian when suddenly she points to her feet and says "Eh nice or not? $1.90 only leh from Uniqlo!!!" while pulling up her socks at the same time.

Then immediately I yelled in shock "ONLY $1.90?!?!" and she was like "Yea it was on sale but they hide it at a corner so nobody can see!" and I immediately spasmed at the thought of buying shoes for $1.90, and so we decided to change our lunch location from Far East Plaza to the ION basement.

I marched all the way to the fitting room to tell Xaviera in the most confident manner, "Later we MUST go to basement to eat!" and she asked why. I was like "BECAUSE UNIQLO HAS SHOES FOR ONLY $1.90!!!" and she was like "Ok ok ok!!!"

I was so stoked at the thought of it but after a while when Xaviera was walking past me she was like "Travis you are a FUCKING idiot!" and I asked why.

As it turns out...

IT WAS THE SOCKS THAT WERE $1.90!!!!!!!!!!



Turns out the shoes were from fucking VANS! But the sneakers looked so basic and totally looked like something Uniqlo would sell IF THEY EVEN SOLD SHOES IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Wa I am a fucking RETARD!!!!!! I suspected it was too good to be true but I only remained skeptical for 5 seconds! $1.90 SHOES. SERIOUSLY SLAP MYSELF.

On that embarrassing note, I shall end off this post. But at least this has made me save $2.