K

*in an accent like a sir* I've been wanting to talk about this prevalent issue ever since the day it has surfaced predominantly on the Internet. Namely Facebook and Twitter.

As you may or may not have figured from the post's title, this widespread international crisis, pandemic, disaster etc. etc. is something you most likely have experienced.

Yep, one-word replies. 

But first of all to keep things organised, I think this issue affects 2 different types of people: the sayers and the doers. Or as I like to call it, the whiny sensitive and the no-nonsense time saver.

Why the whiny sensitive?

Because I have seen one TOO MANY people COMPLAINING about how pissed they are when people give one-word replies while having an SMS conversation.

Common grouses include:
1. I cannot stand people who give one-word replies. Might as well you don't reply at all.
2. Just reply Potassium if you're just going to reply "K" because I am a smartass in Chemistry
3. (sobbing) I am so hurt by one-word replies and I have had enough. Where is a penknife when your wrist needs it?
As a "doer" myself, and on all the doers' behalf, this is a special little gift for you:


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First of all, WHO DIED AND MADE YOU KING OF ANYTHING?

So, I see you have some sort of ~larger than life persona~ that makes you deserve the attention of everybody you text to.

It's not that I'm assuming or generalizing, as many people love to use the latter word to defend themselves with.

It's just that based on personal experiences, I have come to observe that the people who say shit like that more often than not make themselves come across as selfish and obnoxious.

I mean, getting pissed over text conversations like this:
A: Hi, is there any homework today?
B: Yes
A: What would that be?
B: Chemistry
A: Ok thank you very the muchy love you muack muacks
and then going on to Twitter to post this:
A (@A)
I fucking hate idiots who always can't be bothered to reply with full sentences. Always one-word reply. Kanina.
...is fucking selfish, obnoxious and also desperately attention-seeking.

Yes, maybe B is at fault. For what? For not stating the subject in the first place, thus causing the unnecessary need of A to reply an extra "What would that be?". Other than that, there's nothing wrong what! Besides, shouldn't you be taking note of your own damn homework?

The basic principle behind this conversation here is simply asking what homework there is, isn't it? Doesn't that answer your question?

OH! I get it now. I'm so sorry, I didn't know there is some sort of unwritten rule somewhere that I am supposed to also ask if you've masturbated yet. I'm sorry, I promise I won't do it again :( (and I may or may not be talking about...)

And the thing is that people even go on expecting a FULL SENTENCE! OH, you mean you can't get the point if it isn't a simple word? Here's one:

What is the difference in terms of MEANING between these 2 sentences? (based on above example)
- Chemistry
- That would be the Chemistry subject that has homework assigned to by the teacher, my dearest majesty.
I MEAN COME ON!

 What is it that's your argument now? Oh, right. The first sentence comes off as "rude" and "impolite" to you.

So you're telling me now that a simple text message with no smileys or no superfluous "lol"s makes you angry?

I really don't get it. You asked a question, I answered it. Problem solved, shut the fuck up. What is this? Telepathy? When I sent the message your brain automatically registers that "This fucker is uninterested in you and therefore is being rude intentionally. Kill this motherfucker now."

It's totally fine if you want a conversation to go on. But if you're going to want it, you're gonna have to make the first move.

You want to eat McDonald's so badly but you're lazing at home? Fork out the $3.50 and order your shit yourself instead of asking somebody else in the living room, watching television comfortably on the sofa.

Then there comes a whole new set of problems: What if I didn't simply ask a question like that? 
A: Oh my god I just saw a cow!
B: Holy shit! No way! Was it jumping over the moon?
A: Lol, of course it wasn't!
B: K.
And then A starts to bitch and moan again.

Usually with a telltale sign like this, this could go both ways. B is either busy or simply doesn't give a fuck.

Here is an actual real life example. One of my friends, A, texted another friend, B, to which B replied a one-word reply because he was in a middle of something important to attend to and didn't want to spend too much time on the phone.

What happened next? Surprise surprise! A texted back, evidently pissed at how impolite the one-word reply was. 

Which brings back to my point of them being selfish and obnoxious. Carrying on from the first example, if B genuinely wanted to talk, he/she wouldn't be trying to bring the conversation to a stop with a "K".

Just because you texted me I'm supposed to continue the flow? Is that an obligation, you're saying?

It's exactly the same thing as calling a person up, only having the other party saying "Sorry I'm kinda busy, maybe call me back later?" isn't it, albeit in a more subliminal way.

Which brings the bitching and moaning to a completely different level of blame-pushing: "If you don't want to talk, just say so, don't waste my time."

Uh oh! Who's wasting whose time here now? At least with saying a simple word to get the meaning across that you really don't give a shit, you're saving so much more time compared to simply typing "Busy now, ttyl" which, correct me if I'm wrong, is 3 words! That's 300% more words than a simple "lol"!

At least B made the effort to be amused by how you saw a jumping cow. What is he supposed to reply after that? "Ok, I'll talk to you another day, thank you very much for telling me about this incident. You know what else is jumping up high into the sky? The fuck that I actually give."

Which brings me back to my point of why we are called the time savers.

Based on the example given, it is already clear by the end that the conversation has come to a dead end. If it's going nowhere why should I be bothered?

At least if I reply a simple "K" it is a sign of acknowledgement as opposed to totally ignoring it. There's no point in making an aimless conversation drone on and on and on.

Is there REALLY a problem with just ending the conversation with a simple word like "Fuck", or "Bye"?

Besides, if it is a friend who is texting that to you, are you going to get angry over such a trivial matter?

Wow.
~unfriended~

And with regards to the Potassium thing which I have seen and heard ENOUGH OF, let's get technical here.

So you think that it is, supposedly, BETTER to reply "Potassium" than to reply "K"? Hilarious.

Does "K" and "Potassium" convey the same message?


Yes.

Does "Potassium" also have 900% more words than "K"?

Yes.

Is it also likely that the other party might be confused, be it by 1 nanosecond or 1 year, if you reply "Potassium"?

Yes.

Would that therefore lead to a subsequent requirement of more time wasted if you have to explain the whole Potassium-better-than-K issue given the person remains bewildered?

YES!

So SHUT THE FUCK UP!

The most important message of this here is that the point is sent across, dipshit. I believe that is the essence of a text message, or any form of communication.

Is it truly a must for me to be so extremely sensitive to your feelings of how my reply is supposedly rude based on your phone's screen?

Sometimes I am very busy and people SMS me small matters like "You're left-handed right? Eh go check your testicles and see if your right one hangs lower!" to which I would typically reply "Lol k" or "k".

I don't waste my time typing "I'm so sorry, I am very busy, I'll check it out later. Thanks!"

If you're really so angry over this, then just make a phone call in future, because that's what I do when I want to talk to people. Texting is a bloody hassle.

And another thing: grow a pair. I text whatever and whenever I want to. It's not my fault that you're sensitive to such frivolous issues. Meanwhile, I donated money recently!


Since we're on the topic of phones, I would also like to give this to people who say "Don't even own a phone if you're not going to pick up your calls" or shit like that:

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Because unlike you, we don't stay by our phones all day long, hoping for a phone call or a message to come by, little brown ring called the asshole! I could be shitting. I could be in a meeting. Or I could be doing something else ;)

The point is, pui chao nua, who are you to decide who should own a phone and who should not? Once again, selfish and obnoxious. Also desperately seeking attention.

So the bottom line is that people who are pissed over the doers should really stop complaining. I wanted to say something more vulgar, but I was thinking that would prooobably be too rude since they are seemingly too damn sensitive.

But just to clear things up, this is an opinion-based post. You don't have to agree with me and neither do you have to. I'm completely up for any other ~logical~ reasoning that you have, and that does not include "fuck your mother".

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