When I think about our school's Speech Day, the first thing that comes to my mind is... what the hell.
I distinctly remember back then in Sec 1 when I was told to be part of the "reception" for the buffet in the evening which was held at the parade square.
What I had to do was literally ask the guests if they'd like another cup of drink, to which I'd bring their cup all the way to the front to the dispenser to pour out more cheapo fruit punch before walking allll the way back to them. That's pretty shit if you ask me, but we did get to bring home the leftovers which makes everything all good.
And then fast forward 3 years later, I'd watch the Speech Day in 2011 celebrating the school's 10th anniversary.
It was then when it suddenly struck upon me that I have never won a single speech day award in my entire miserable life.
As each person walked up the stage to get their stinky little plaque...(cue dramatic tone) the resentment, allll the anger you could imagine that was building up inside of me.
And the buffet. YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE BUFFET. Fucking amazing, and guess what? I had none of it, because I was not academically awesome enough to deserve such a sumptuous spread.
It was then I told myself... I WILL MAKE SURE I GET THE BUFFET NEXT YEAR! Which was when the joke of the year (self proclaimed) was created. "I worked hard for my O Levels for the speech day buffet!"
Now it's 2012 and JWSS' 11th annual Speech Day took place 2 Fridays ago.
What... a shithole. (Oh snap!)
Alright, everything went better than I had expected but I guess it's because of how grand last year's event was so I thought it'd be something like that this year again.
Let's say it's like your favourite artist putting out an amazing album, then having the next album sounding like absolute shit.
Who decides on the budget allocation each year on this event?
On the right was last year's speech day program, all professionally done and cool as hell. Even the valedictorian had an entire page to himself!!
(Yes I kept it because I am a hoarder. Also, there's a pretty hot picture of Mdm Lock inside)
And then we have this year's speech day program on the left, printed on A4 plain paper, and just looks sloppy all over.
I don't know if it's because that I'm fat that apparently this year's theme was about food.
We didn't even get a concert during the actual speech day, but they had a mini musical thing going on in the morning only for the students to see. And the principals. Which was pretty sad, although I did get to watch a little during their rehearsals.
Now let's talk about the buffet.
After all the effort I put in for this moment... hoping that just like last year's, it'd be just as awesome being seated at the round tables in the parade square, dining under the invisible stars with the other prize winners... pretty much went down the drain.
It was... underwhelming because first of all, it was at the cyber café / canteen.
It did have a great variety but the food wasn't really that great either, except the mee siam. There was roti prata which only looked good but in actuality it's oily as hell. The carrot cake was cold and... you know.
Oh, right, because it's only the 11th year, nothing special!!! We didn't even have a fire to start off the event with a bang! (Too soon?)
I know I'm sounding like a spoilt brat, a whiny assed child complaining about every single thing because I think I am king shit.
Truthfully speaking it was a great pleasure attending the event despite having to leave my orientation program so early but I will always be grateful for the awards I received that afternoon.
But I would prooobably think twice about calling this event one of the main highlights of the year.
Baby I know
I was pleasantly surprised because I found out that I wasn't even going to win 3 awards, but 4! The additional one was the Outstanding Student of the Year award! I have no idea how I ended up being more outstanding than Wong Si Yuan, but ok.
Which means I've robbed the awards of 2 people now. ~Guilty~
I could literally hear the crowd going WOAHHH when I started climbing the steps because I was terribly overdressed for the event, but it was exactly what I was told to dress like since I'll be making the valedictorian speech.
And while we're on the topic of my outfit, the pants really suffocated my balls. It was sooo tight down there, they were trying so hard to break free and just escape!
The funny thing is how when I bought it, they said that their suits are specially tailored to fit Asian bodies. Ohhh I see what you did there.
I could have bought a bigger size but I didn't like the idea of wearing something L-sized again.
We had to bow after receiving every award and apparently each time I bowed, for a total of 3 times, I heard some people laugh. As I would find out later I bowed in a really retarded way where I'll just bow with only one shoulder going down, as you can see above HAHAHA good grief
My 4 newborn babies!
These are the first awards I've ever received IN MY LIFE. No shit. I didn't even win anything during my time in JWPS. If there ever was a fire in my house they are the first things I'll grab. Together with my pirated copy of Red Alert 2.
"These are but pieces of plastic, Travis... you shouldn't be so superficial..." ah fuck off
My Adele moment
I don't usually win speech day awards, but when I do, it's 4 of them (ur hur hur so funny)
Apparently many people were amused when I set this as my Facebook picture that it got 70 likes! It's like I'm a popular ah lian with 1000 friends who just posted a picture of her toe.
Pictures from the event:
Me doing the valedictorian speech (which will be blogged about on another post soon)
With Philana who's the top student for Combined Humanities (History)!
Us with our favourite SS extraordinare!
Vivian aka Ching Cheng, top student for English~
Sophia who got top student for D&T~
With Adeline who went home to dress up just so she could come in because she was initially refused entry for dressing too casually LOL
The BFFs Mdm Lock and Ms Ho. By the way, Ms Ho recently retired! So happy for her, escaping before shit starts to hit the wall
Ms Lin, Mrs Chong, Mr Leong and Ms Tan
Dearest Red Cross juniors!
Blurry pic with Ms Lim!
Amos who crashed the party hahaha
With Yee Loong
This is Miss Teo, the only teacher who got a special mention from my valedictorian speech. And guess what, ladies and gentlemen! When I mentioned her name, her phone decided to conveniently ring and instead of rejecting the call she picked it up and went outside!!!!!
After the thing ended she then cooped herself up in the staff room because she was ~*busy*~. Sigh.
Nonetheless it was nice coming back to see all these familiar faces again :D
I didn't mention anything about how the valedictorian speech went yet because it's going to sound really serious and now is not the time to sound serious. So... I'll write about it soon. Hehehehehehe
(click here for Part 2)