I was so bored today I started thinking about my previous semester and all those things. Like the things I've done and also the things that I shouldn't have done.
Anyway I've ultimately decided that I'll just try not to repeat some of the mistakes I've done... I don't mean it academically but more on the social aspect because I have done some pretty nasty things that I don't think would be nice to outrightly say here.
I guess I'll just not be so judgemental?? Ok who am I kidding that's not gonna work but I'll just try to practice tolerance and be nice to people. And try not to make myself hated. Pretty much. Though I'm sure there are already people who have a degree of dislike towards me already because of some things I've done but oh well!
I've decided to move on because some things are just not worth it. With that said I also do hope that the people who I may or may not have pissed off and/or offend for life will also move on and aiya all in all I just feel like starting everything over again.
I've come to realise that if we're going to keep shuffling classmates every semester creating enemies are not going to be doing me any favours and if there's anything I want to stay away from, it's drama.
And to be completely honest I just want to be liked by people. When I went for the TCP camp we did this character analysis thing and mine was so right. I'm a very people-oriented person. Unless the person doesn't do shit then that's exactly how I would treat the person but I generally would prefer overall happiness within a group than produce results that kind of thing.
They also say that for people like me, our greatest fear is to not be liked and it's totally true! It's so sad in a sense but I don't really know how to battle it. I think I'm just being overly sensitive like some people have said because ur hur hur I'm feeling so weak and vulnerable right now ur hur hur annoying
I also feel very lonely lor. Ever since school's started a long 6 months ago I still feel very lonely. Like even when I have my friends all around me. Is it normal to feel that way? Sometimes I like to be alone and just be by myself but what I'm feeling most of the time is like the negative kind of loneliness.
As if I have no super close friends although I know I have many close friends. What am I saying omg. I think I'm still in the process of trying to understand that no matter how much time you can spend with someone, you may never ever be a significant part of their life.
Or maybe I just need companionship. And to be honest I would absolutely love the idea of having someone move in with me because I just need someone to talk to. Not like online but face-to-face and all my other friends are too busy with their schoolwork. In conclusion I just feel ronery, bored, and retarded as usual.
But it's okay to be alllll byyy myyyyseeeellffffff because I am strong enough to survive arone! I AM AN INDEPENDENT MAN! Ok bye bye. I'll be fine guys