I was filmed for China news but I never saw the clip :( (China Part 2)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Then on the forth day we went to ANOTHER farm but it was a pumpkin farm!

Once again it was a shit long walk and the worst part was that the path there was so damn muddy because it rained the night before. It's like those horrific secondary school adventure camps except the shoes you wear don't cost $10 and you can just throw away guiltlessly afterwards.

The farm was horrendously overrun by weeds so our job was to cut all of them down. Essentially it's a stress relief session because all you do is just hack all around you going "HOW DARE YOU CALL ME FAT" "SAY THAT AGAIN BITCH"


But I ended up getting distracted and making magic wands pretending like I'm the asian Harry Potter

The rest started to follow suit and Angus Expelliarmus'd me. Because I take myself so seriously I really threw my wand away and I lost it for good so I had to make another one. So sad

Hi Nicolene

The next day we found out we were going to ride HORSES! So sexciting! Of course we weren't going to ride those gigantic ones with penises like water hoses (those are called scallops right) but the smaller versions that aren't small enough to be a pony.

My horse's name was Wu Zui which sounds like... guiltless in Chinese. And damn right he is because he is RUDE!

He can't stop eating and he doesn't give a damn about who's sitting on his back because when there's grass around, a horse's gotta eat. I even asked the uncle if he didn't eat breakfast and he said they have ALL DAY to eat! No wonder they shit so much!

He's also so stubborn because he refuses to stay on-task no matter how many times I tug onto the rope. I have a new-found respect for those people in movies that are like "JIA! JIA!" and incessantly whip them with the rope harness thing where the horses just obediently listen.

But I really liked riding the horse leh. Because they walk so slowly it's damn comfortable and with such an amazing scenic view it's so therapeutic especially after all the hard work we've been doing.

My parting words to it were "You have a lot of dandruff." in Chinese. I know I'm so sentimental ;_;

The whole course of the programme was to then take a boat ride back to the starting point. But we forgot we're also here to help the community so they totally scrapped the boat ride and instead got us to pick up horse poop for the biogas digester.

It actually didn't stink so bad there because the air was very cold and nice so it didn't really bother me. We even have to make sure the ones we choose are as fresh as possible! That's right people in 2 weeks we have been nurtured into shit experts.

All the while there was this guy who was filming us with this huge camera and apparently we were going to appear on the local news within that county which I don't even know the name of.

Of course being the attention whore that I am I managed to snag myself an interview HAHAHA.They asked me how this whole thing was like and using my B3 standard of Chinese I simply said that "It's a very different experience from Singapore's city lifestyle because you don't get to see horse shit there on a daily basis. You don't even get to see HORSES!" (连马都没有得看!)

After that embarrassing moment I shouldn't have had they reportedly liked my answer. So weird like me

An eel that literally died before my eyes. I didn't even know where it came from, so Alicia and I picked it up and placed it back into a puddle of water hoping it'd revive. No luck. I think I'm about to cry.

Next day we went hiking some random mountain for the whole morningz. I was about to have the most physical action I've had in the entire year, and I was determined to reach the peak! Actually there was another extremely hardcore group but I'm not that batshit crazy

There was also the very lazy group that just ended up picking mushrooms around the first checkpoint which was only a 5 minute walk to get to cheeeeh

Shitting into potholes or whatever you call those

A horse which ran away from me the moment I got close

Anyway I have nothing to type about my entire 2 hour hike because I VLOGGED IT! That's right. I wanted to only film it for Charmaine and Nicolene to see because they went picking mushrooms but halfway through Angus and I realised that this would make a pretty damn good reality TV show.

So may I present to you guys my new reality TV show spanning 1 episode featuring my breakthrough debut role

So that sums it up. Here are some pictures if you didn't watch the entire exciting 20-minute clip:

We actually almost got lost on the way down because we forgot the route we went by HAHAHA. It's all good though we still found our way back.

The hardcore group were seriously damn hardcore because they even walked to areas which Si Nan herself haven't ventured to and they even found a WATERFALL where they had to walk damn carefully because even a slip would send them falling to their deaths!! Walao eh talk about living life on the edge

The lunch prepared for us by the farmers which is like a flatbread with an egg in the middle with tubed luncheon meat. Ended up tasting pretty shit but ok.

The tubed luncheon meat is really nice though! I looooove it. I even bought a few tubes back for Jiarong to try until I found out that they actually have some locally-made ones here in the exact same packaging. Irritating

Lovely talk w Ms Mel about her career while waiting for the hardcore group to come back.


The dog developed such deep feelings with me that it followed us all the way back to the GEC. No shit. It kind of lost us halfway though (thankfully) but maybe it just wanted to know a way out or something.

How the forest looks like from the big big field

And then after that we went back and left for the city to enjoy the weekends but more on that in a later post because I like to be organised in the strangest ways.

We got back to work on Monday and I remembered (actually I didn't remember it was in my notes) that on the very morning I woke up I injured my ankle on Yong Qi's bloody open luggage and I was bleeding like shit.

I particularly liked (according to the note) how EVERYONE around me was panicking except me who couldn't really care less. Just thought it was something funny to share because usually nobody... cares.. about me

Anyway we finally did something that would leave a mark of our presence in the GEC forever and ever! We paved a road. That's right. We paved a road using little broken rocks from outside the GEC so that they will never have to step on muddy paths from the kitchen to the toilet on rainy days again!

I've never been more proud. The path looks absolutely groundbreaking.

Later that day we also went to some wood-recycling place where they actually gather all the unwanted wood and turn them into useful objects again like furniture and all that.

There are some really boring ones but the most interesting ones would probably be a 4-way see-saw and a set of stairs that have broken porcelain plates cemented into them as decoration. I was mostly fascinated by this wood-carved statue of this woman with really long and pointy breasts at the entrance of the place. Didn't take any pictures because they'll probably bore you to death

I did take this though

Your best friend


The last exciting thing we did that day was also something that I looked forward to the least, which was none other than shovelling up horse shit.

I don't know if I've mentioned it in Part 1 because I can't be bothered to check but I was actually appointed as "Green Champion Leader" before the trip by the lecturers. Sorry, I meant lecturer. I swear Mr Yeo sabo-ed me because I was his class rep for Digital Photography.

I would later find out that the reason behind its name is because 1) Fresh, smoking, hot off the ass horse shit is green 2) champion sounds like "jian bian" ie. pick shit in Chinese. That's smaaarrrt.

ANYWAY my job scope basically revolved around picking up horse shit so that's the long story short, but 1 week into the trip I've done anything but that, so it was time to show everyone how it's DONE.

(Read in dramatic, deep and serious narrative voice for full effect)

The process of picking horse shit for the biogas digester is not an easy task. Every horse shit to be shovelled goes through an intensive selection process, where only the freshest produce is chosen. This is generally identified by their green-ish, soft appearance which may occasionally emit smoke (sign of FRESHNESS).

Upon collecting all visible poop from surrounding areas, the poop goes into the container shown above where they go through a labour-intensive mashing process to pureé the freshly-picked droppings to ensure that it is fit for consumption for the biogas digester. Water should be used sparingly to ease the mashing process.

After that, the shit will be left to "ferment" with a lid on top for up to 3 days before it is fit to be fed into the biogas digester. Mother nature, you're welcome.

Take a look:

Later that night Nicolene also did up a (secret) birthday card by reusing a piece of cardboard (GEC-friendly) for Mr Yeo's birthday which was going to be on the Friday of that week!

You can totally guess which figure is me from the row of people at the bottom

And this is the back side which will have everyone's birthday wishes:

The drawing of Mr Yeo there is a recreation of what I had taken earlier on that day:

I know right

Then the next day, which, if you've either lost track or can't wait for me to shut up, is the 10th day into the trip, I also went to pick shit the first thing in the morning because it was my turn in the duty roster to do it together with Nicolene and Charmaine.

Ooo la la

Thankfully there wasn't even much shit to pick up so you could say we were very lucky.

As you can see Nicolene loikes it

But we were WRONG. Because after we had breakfast, we walked back to the GEC and horrors of horrors- there was horse shit EVERYWHERE.

I was so pekcek! And then Mr Yeo kept calling me to go pick up (jokingly) but I kept avoiding making eye contact with him. Eventually I couldn't take the pressure and went to do it anyway hahahah.

Anyway our activity for the day was to go visit a market nearby so that was pretty boring. We ended up buying snacks and sweets here and there because they were damn cheap.

The pig died a happy pig

I like how they have Wang Leehom on the cardboard boxes in some rural village

Unbelievably blue skies

Anyway I was very touched that day because Nicolene and Charmaine bought this for me for 1 RMB which is SGD 0.20:

Which is totally heterosexual on all levels

Unfortunately it didn't even last for a day because I broke it by accident later that night. But I still keep it because THAT'S HOW MUCH I TREASURE MY GIFTS

And on our FINAL day of exciting activities in the Lashihai Village we were going FISHING! Aren't you excited this post is coming to an end?

Actually we had a choice -- only 6 of us could do the actual fishing on a separate boat whereas the rest would just sit in the bigger boats, enjoy the scenery and let the farmer do all the work. The latter obviously sounded more like my kind of thing.

But you know... I mean... sacrifices have to be made to give other people chances right?? HAHAHA where's my nobel peace prize? Nah I'm just lazy

I know

Some amazing scenery:

The clear water... the clear skies... the serenity....

was mostly disrupted because everyone kept ROCKING THE BOAT and I was freaking out not because I would drown but because I didn't want my phone to drown.

I repeatedly said that I can drown but my phone can't (as you can see I have my priorities perfectly straight) which motivated them to rock the boat even further. TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE

And Nicolene kept picking out sea snails which STINK.

Our fisherman ended up catching like 20 fishes when the DIY boat caught like 3 LOL.

Yes I used Snapseed to enhance this photo and you will deal

After we were done fishing I was totally not done with enjoying the serene scenery (say that 10 times in a row) because 1) they kept SHAKING THE BOAT 2) my life was at risk with Nicolene and her flailing sea snails everywhere

We proceeded to the farmer's house where they cooked the fish and everything for us! They were so nice and hospitable. Except for a certain someone.

A DEMON CHILD who just seems, for lack of better word, possessed and she even spat on I think Lindsay! SO RUDE!

Thank god she didn't touch any of my stuff if not the picture above would be me instead of Nicolene and I will be reaching my arm out to pull her hair and my CCA points for this trip will reduce to 0

Side dishes include this amazing salted bacon thing. It's like the salted duck my grandmother cooks during Chinese New Year but the pork version. So it tastes like hoOoooOOome. It's coated with so much oil, I love it.

The highlight of the day which is the fresh fish!

You know the fish bones are actually shaped like this --> y like it literally looks like a y and I accidentally swallowed one of them and I'm telling you it's TERRIBLE.

It was stuck there for hours and no amount of rice I swallowed could dislodge it. Thankfully it didn't hurt that much but I suffered and *dramatic music* I have the scars to show it lol no I don't

When I went into the kitchen to get more rice to attempt for the 10,000th time to dislodge the bone the fisherman and his wife decided to have a small conversation so I was trying hard to talk as little as I could so I wouldn't have to swallow my saliva. LOL

On that very pathetic note, that was the end of the exciting and stimulating activities that took place within the village of Lashihai and the GEC. Are you sad? (I'm not done talking about China though)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

1 comment: