USA 2011 Part 2.0 -- Jetlagged in Nashville

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I have never experienced jetlag before so it was a first for me to ever wake up at 4AM on a Friday not being able to go back to sleep at all.

What... a fucked body clock indeed.

One lulz thing was how we were watching the news and there was a reporter LIVE in front of the hotel we were staying at. The sky's color was literally changing with the screen on the TV.

The only agenda we had for that day was to catch the Grand Ole Opry live radio show which is some sort of weekly ~country music "concert"~ in the night at the Ryman Auditorium.

Unfortunately the Country Music Awards was held at that exact place exactly one week before we came. How serendipitous. But I can't really be bothered either.

Normally it would play at the Grand Ole Opry House but it was closed for renovation during our stay in Nashville!

For the most part of our day we simply lazed around and watched TV until it was 6 so that we could order room service for breakfast because we're too lazy to look for a place to eat breakfast at.



Look at the cute little bottles of ketchup which Eva's mother conveniently packed into her bag to give to her sister when we go over to stay at her place LOL


My American breakfast which surprisingly came in a moderately-sized portion for USA standards. Comes with sausages, eggs and potatoes as well as some toast. Everything was amazing but the sausages were salty as hell.



This was Eva's mother's burrito which came in a bigger portion and this tasted SO. GOOD. Special mention goes out to the guacamole which surprised me because it tasted amazing.

The hotel we stayed at, which is the Doubletree Hotel by Hilton, was pretty good and the only issue I have with is the toilet seat because that shit (no pun intended) is so cold, my balls shrivel up in fright and get hypothermia.

Which doesn't help that when we first arrived, I was the first one to use the shower and I didn't know how to change from cold water to hot water. How retarded is that.

As it turns out, I had to on the tap to a desired amount of water, switch to the shower head, and then turn some more to adjust the temperature, which I only managed to figure out after standing around thinking for 10 minutes stark naked. I may or may not have checked myself out through the mirror in the process.

But in my defence there wasn't an indication on how to change the water temperature whatsoever, so I am a genius for figuring it out myself!!! A GENIUS!!!

I initially thought that since you turn to adjust water amount before you switch to the showerhead, obviously through the showerhead you turn some more will come out more water what! Who would have thought? But enough about showers now.

After lazing enough we took a walk around the home of country music where we didn't really do anything productive. We did shop a little as far as I am concerned and by little I really mean only 6 pin badges:



Which by the way costs USD5 for 3! But who cares, I like it.

The shop even sold boxes of REAL crickets and worms )(dead la which I wanted to buy for Edrie as a prank but I didn't want the plan to backfire on me such as the box breaking open halfway the journey home in my luggage. There was even nutritional information at the back of the box and each box of crickets is only 5 calories! The fuck?







After walking for a REALLY long time (and I mean REALLY) we decided to just get lunch and head back to the hotel to rest before going to the Ryman Auditorium. We went by this place which sells freshly made pizza and decided to give it a try!

The (presumably) shop owner was just the nicest man in the world and is really skilled at making pizza! Everything is freshly handmade from the moment you make your order. He even posed for a picture!












Check this shit out y'all.

You have no idea how good it was. And we ate lunch while watching ellen which just so happened to be on the TV.

We didn't need to go to the Ryman Auditorium ourselves because as tourists we get to be chauffeured from our hotel like some tour thing. Turns out the only people travelling here as real tourists were us and another old couple from Illinois, as we would find out later.

The driver also works as an elementary school teacher during the day and he is seriously one of the nicest people I have ever met. His service was simply beyond impeccable! He's just all bubbly and nice.


Picture taken while on the bus



Outside the Ryman Auditorium!



Apparently at the Grand Ole Opry show, there isn't a fixed lineup so it just depends on who's available and who's not, so if you're lucky you might get to see some famous legends live, which we did!

Unfortunately, being only 16, I knew absolutely none of the legends who turned up. But hey Wikipedia!







Artists performing for the night





This humorous woman who I think is doing an impression of Minnie Pearl



First part of the show hosted by Mike Snider



Performance by Connie Smith, who is apparently a legend I don't know about.





The Del McCoury Band


(Check out her hair)

Jimmy Dickens, who is a fucking funny guy. He's also really short! He's already 91 (Wiki'd) and STILL performing regularly at the Grand Ole Opry.



Diamond Rio



A clearer picture of Jimmy Dickens, performing, as I quote him, "a song from my latest album... in 1963." HAHAHAHA





Wanda Jackson, who is also very short.



Brandi Carlile, whose performances I enjoyed a lot. That day was her debut at the Grand Ole Opry!

In all, the show was fucking amazing and all the performers and hosts were so funny. Unfortunately, it seems that Eva and I are the only young people there, except for maybe a toddler or two. Most of the people who attended were tourists like us though, and are also first-timers.

To be quite honest my eyelids were starting to flutter like mad because of the jetlag so I was half-sleep for the second half of the show. It was an enjoyable show nonetheless! ~*condescending remark*~



I also bought this book from the Grand Ole Opry for USD15 on the history of the place with pictures etc

The same tour bus brought us back to the hotel entrance and we simply watched TV till we fell asleep.

I very vividly remember this advertisement I saw which made me laugh like shit. It was an advertisement for a brand of jeans for men that apparently provides more room in the crotch area so that there's more space for your balls to breath HAHAHAHAHA

Some more it's conveniently called CROTCH BALLS!!!

The ad begins with this man squatting down in the regular pair of jeans and then started making high-pitched noises, after which he changes into crotch balls jeans and does the same thing, except this time it's in his normal, low voice. Hilarious! I don't know why you needed to know all that, but still.

UPDATE!!!

Ok thanks to Eva, the jeans aren't actually called crotch balls but are called BALLROOM JEANS!!! Get it? Like BALL ROOM? LMAO

And this is the ad I was talking about! Enjoy your lulz




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Karma's a bitch, bitch

Today I went back to school and saw Jerome who told me something that made my day.

Apparently, the judgemental person I've talked about a few times before also known as ~head too big for le bodeh~, did really shittily for his N Levels and, according to Jerome, even CRIED after seeing his results.


BRB LOLING!!!

Ok I know I am being an asshole but hey, he was the one who had the time of his life laughing at and judging me as if he was even in the position to do so in the first place. Now look who's laughing, and look who's crying!

Omg... and him being a retainee and dropping to another stream... now he's there... by the time he finishes his education he'll be 45.

Like how a teacher in my secondary school liked judging me so much back then but now she's ballooned and gained so much weight!  

It's really hilarious how some people like to say so many shit things about me thinking they can be so much better than me but hey, look who's laughing now! I'm doing better than so many of you jerks!

I can't wait for my turn when karma would finally come bite me in the ass. COME AT ME BRO 

On second thought, maybe it already has come in the form of losing all my Mahjong games so far... hmmm...

I feel amazing today.

I am like a role model, but not quite really

Today I was invited by the school to give... a motivational talk. I KNOW RIGHT!!!

I managed to get Philana and Eva, my "supporters", to film my speech for the classes I gave the talk to, namely 4E1 and 4E2. Maybe I'll upload it... or maybe not, because it's so embarrassing HAHAHA.

But hey, I really had a great time sharing my learning experience through the O Levels period. I already made a disclaimer at the start saying that I'm going to include a lot of cliché things and that I personally don't even believe in these talks so I guess it's okay.

Although I feel that these kind of things can't be accurately put to words because it's something that one really has to go through him or herself in order to really understand what I'm trying to get at. I realised that I was just beating around the bush because somehow, there is no way to get to the point!

I want to tell them to find something to work hard towards, but I was basically just circling around you know... finding where you want to go after O Levels... find out what motivates you... where your drive is that... which is of course, cliché, and just seems like a load of shit. If I was in their shoes, I would think that I am full of shit and would have given myself a tight slap.

When I was tasked to do the talk, it took me just one night to think of 5 pages worth of what to say, and it actually lasted for around 30 minutes just to finish them all! It's ridiculously long man! But it was a breeze for me to say it because it was all my opinions so they are naturally retained inside my memory already, so there wasn't any problem in the delivery.

The unfortunate thing is that I was kind of nervous? And I kind of flustered around with the 5 sheets of paper printed on rough paper in shitass condition (if you received my talk today you would have seen the papers) so I missed out on  A LOT OF POINTS.

I told myself after telling 4E1 that I will get my shit together and say everything as intended to 4E2. Unfortunately, I didn't, and went on to even exclude an important part that I didn't tell 4E2.

If you're from 4E2 and reading this, remember how I talked about my 2 motivational factors? Although I only talked about 1?! Which was the speech day buffet, but never got around to say the second one? Omg that was the dumbest mistake I could ever make. Completely slipped my mind.

But like I said I really enjoyed myself! I'm glad that I even managed to get the classes to laugh. In fact I even got 4E1's form teacher to laugh! Achievement Unlocked! I was soooo afraid she would just roll her eyes at me throughout the entire speech.

Admittedly 4E1 had more laughs than 4E2 so naturally I was more comfortable speaking with them. Both were a great experience nonetheless, and I wouldn't mind doing it again. I especially wanted to make sure that the talk was interesting and funny because being a student myself, I KNOW that motivational talks are bloody boring, and I didn't want it to be just like any other talk that just drones on and on.

I always wanted to do something different from the others and add a touch of humour in it because that's what makes students listen isn't it.

Just like how I was telling Ms Lim that I am always willing to come back and help the school like this motivational talk because I wanted to be different from the other top scorers.

From what I have observed, the top scorers in previous years simply got their results, disappeared, came back for speech day, gone for good. Why do I want to be just like any of them? I just feel like it's a selfish action. I mean, sure, they all went to a JC so they're busy, but I feel like an effort could be done as a way to show your appreciation to how your school made you get to where you are today.

Let's just be honest. Had Marcus been the top scorer, and if Miss Lim asked him to come back to give a motivational talk, would he have done it? Maybe public speaking is not their thing, but would he even come back and help for just a little bit, not necessarily talking? I don't think so. (Sorry Marcus but you know I've always been honest with you)

It's these little things that I try to do that really makes me happy and willing to help. The fact that the pupils even said that my talk was interesting, funny, good etc really made my day. Some even felt motivated by my nonsense! Like I mentioned in my talk, even being at the top is lonely sometimes, and I am really glad to see that the students enjoyed it.

If you're from 4E1 or 4E2, this is to show my appreciation for your attention! It doesn't even matter if 1 person laughed or the whole class laughed, I'm just happy you didn't fall asleep, because I fell asleep for almost all the motivational talks I've ever attended, so thank you! I hope that in the near future I'll be able to speak to students more and try to help them as well.

USA 2011 Part 1.0 -- The Journey

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(Images are of absymal quality because 1) they're taken in low-light conditions via my iPhone, and they more often than not don't turn out good 2) I was too lazy to take out my digital camera. 3) It would be weird taking pictures of food in the plane when a stranger is sitting right beside me (had to ninja mode w/ my phone))


Iiiii have never been on a flight that lasted more than 8 hours so naturally for this trip I was getting my ass (literally) ready for its imminent predicament.

Fortunately for me, the flight to the states was split into two with the first being a transit at Japan and then to Atlanta after which we would take another domestic flight to the destination state.

Unfortunately for me, it was a morning flight so I didn't really sleep the night before. Only for about 2 hours until 1am.

I should have woken up by 1am but I didn't until 20 minutes later so I had to turn on my ninja mode and got changed within less than 5 minutes. This is what joining a uniformed group as your CCA in secondary school does to your sad miserable life. 



Me looking very attractive at the airport in the morning. What... a turn on.





Sitting on Delta once again!



All 3 boarding passes

The trip to Tokyo took about 6 hours and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would, and of course I am talking about my butt.

Eva and I were assigned seats to the last row which, correct me if I'm wrong, is mainly reserved for people with special needs? How lovely. The seats don't even recline all the way back! It only reclines like 10 degrees. Plus it's my first time sitting on an aisle seat that is not on a budget plane.

The air vents were also so cold that I had a flu for the 2 international flights! I have never felt more horrible while travelling.



Omelette with roasted potatoes, a lonesome cherry tomato and ham which does not even look remotely like it. Don't you like how disgusting the omelette looks? It's actually pretty nice, although it doesn't seem to taste like egg. Hmmm... ;)

I have to express my love for the bun to the side because it was pleasantly filled with chocolate chips! I thought they were raisins, and I bet you did too. Bitch.

I also watched Horrible Bosses on the plane which is bloody hilarious and I feel like I have something in common with Julia (Jennifer Aniston) in the movie in which we are both extremely horny people. Anyway...



At the transit in Tokyo's Narita Airport

Upon reaching Tokyo we only had one thing in our mind which is McDonald's. Why? First of all we wanted to prep ourselves before entering obese land. Secondly, WE MISS MCPORK SO MUCH!!!



AHHHHHHHHH

It's nice that we are able to meet again, McPork. It's been a long, 2 years since I last sank my crooked teeth into your sweet, succulent meat. Now my teeth are straight.



The customs when going to the US are a real bitch because first of all, it is compulsory to take off your shoes when they are scanning your belongings. How annoying! It's already bad enough you have to take off your belt, and I was wearing loose jeans too.

Also, I was engaged in the infamous PATDOWN!!! I think my belt made the metal detector go off when I walked past because I was too lazy to take it out.

The officer was really nice though so I didn't feel sexually violated. (This thus makes me 1000x more vulnerable to rape right now) He didn't really touch my penis, kinda just went above it at the groin area. No, I was not turned on. Ahem.

I thus conclude that it was not worth the hype! I was expecting things to get more intense... more hot... more steamy... OK WHAT.




The next flight to Atlanta took a whopping 11.5 hours which is shorter than what I had anticipated (13 hours) but terrifying nonetheless.

We were seated at the last row again in the aisle and this time joined by an American lady who, as I eavesdropped on her conversation with an air stewardess because it's the most classy thing to do, is apparently some big shot who knows a lot about airplanes.


I watched both Harry Potter movies for Deathly Hallows again and I also watched Insidious which was way better than I expected! It's so scary, I loike.




Chicken pasta which sucked hard






One thing I've ALWAYS *ahem* liked about Delta is how unpredictable their flight attendants are.

The batch of flight attendants you get for each flight is almost as if it's decided by throwing a coin. One side you get the bitches and the other you get the lovely angels. 

For this flight unfortunately we got people with bitch faces. Either that or they distance themselves from you because you're Asian. Paranoid? I don't think so!!!

Anyway during my flight to Atlanta, I realised I took the wrong immigration form. So I called for an attendant and asked in these very words: "Hi, can I have two of these? *points to correct form I'm holding from Eva's mother*" in the best, natural American accent I could muster.

She seemed a little bewildered at first but after that I repeated myself and she got it. Then she came back with the correct form. Marvellous. Took a look at it.

IT WAS IN JAPANESE.



OH NO YOU DIDN'T.

The good news is I look Japanese. The bad news is I didn't understand a single shit. Fortunately enough we had an English copy so we were able to do it anyway.

HOW DARE SHE ASSUME THAT THE 16TH BEST SPEAKER IN THE WHOLE OF SINGAPORE FOR THE SINGAPORE SECONDARY SCHOOLS DEBATING CHAMPIONSHIPS DIVISION III IS JAPANESE EVEN THOUGH HE SPOKE IN CLEAR ENGLISH HUH HUH HUH /Ishallstopshowingoffnow /thoughImayormaynothavebeenshowingoffintentionally

Like Mitchell in one of the episodes in Season 1 of Modern Family, "SHAME!"




A mid-flight snack. A little crossoint with fresh fruit and amazing chocolate chip cookies.



And another meal (goodness gracious).  The eggs were horrible but the pork sausage was delish. There was also fresh fruit, orange juice and bread and butter.

In other news about the flight en route to Atlanta, I also took a shit which of course always feels great.

Unfortunately I made a real mess in the toilet because I washed my face and there was a lot of water on the ground. The worst part is that somebody was waiting to get into the toilet immediately after I finished, so they would know it's that fat, Asian asshole who messed up.



We left the house at 2:30AM (17 Nov) and when we reached Tokyo, it was 1:30PM (17 Nov) Tokyo time, after which we boarded the plane to Atlanta at 3:25PM (17 Nov), and arrived at Atlanta on 17 November, 1:15PM. And they said time travelling is impossible. Suckaaaas.


All these time zone differences did fuck my senses though. They just kept shoving food down our throats in the planes that I couldn't even tell if they were serving breakfast, lunch or dinner.

When we left the aircraft an air stewardess even said "Enjoy your evening!" happily when it's still broad daylight outside which just confused me even further.

Of course, you know you are in America when the FIRST THING you hear is 2 black girls discussing about their weaves, guuuuuurrrrl!

There are so many fat people around that it makes me look like I voms my noms all the time. (which may or may not be true) Lovezxzsx it! Everyone is so hospitable though, which is of course, just like me. Hospitable. AHEM.



This is the view from our hotel room, at the Doubletree by Hilton. The tree double at where, I also dunno.

And if you want to hear something spooky in the puki,



This government building, according to this TV show we were watching just right then, is haunted. The two founders of the building had a conflict over something, and when they died, both of their graves were put side by side there.

It's rumoured that you can hear the two of them still quarreling in the middle of the night! ooooOOOOoooOOOooooOOOOoo. What pussies.

And I love the hotel so fucking much. For every new guest they each get one of their special chocolate chip cookie, which may I just say is absofuckinglutely delicious.

As the jetlag settles in we all went to rest early to prepare ourselves for the next day where we would officially start our sojourn... in Nashville. JENG JENG JEEEEEEEENG



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CDs of the month! (#25)

I think braised chicken is amazing.




As mentioned a few days back I received Siti Nurhaliza's All Your Love from Jiarong as one of his gifts! (Which he said was going to be judge-worthy)

I even remember tweeting recently that I saw the album in HMV for about $14 but didn't want to buy it because I was sure it would go on discount soon LOL. Looks like that problem is solved!

Siti said that she recorded an English album just as a momento for her career as a singer but I just think that this is a rushed mess of an album. Yes, the album is something Siti has never done before, but it is also something that many others have done before! So it doesn't really bring anything new to the table. Plus I think this album kinda makes Siti look like a sell-out who is recording an English album for the sake of doing one.

Nonetheless I still enjoy some of the tracks on the album, but if Siti is going to make another English album I hope it's not as generic as this LOL.



(2012.01.25) Koda Kumi - JAPONESQUE (CD+Photobook+Goods | Limited Edition)
(2012.01.25) Koda Kumi - JAPONESQUE (CD+2DVD | First Press | Digipak)

Kuu's long-awaited 10th studio album! Which also came with 2 clear files as a bonus for each edition and is something that I will probably never use.

When the package arrived at my doorstep, Shandy and Sophia was at my house and both of them were judging me so severely because they don't understand my stupid obsession of spending money on these things HAHA. Like how I don't understand why Shandy is a princess.



Opening the CD+2DVD



Tada! Just like her 2008 album Kingdom, all 17 tracks on this album has a music video! (excluding the introduction and interlude) Although I think it was a last minute decision as a promotional tactic since she's pregnant and all.

I must say that this album is way better than Kingdom though. In fact I'd probably call it one of her best! I didn't think she'd be able to top Dejavu, but this shit is some pretty fucking good shit!




The HUGE ass limited edition! Although it was smaller than I envisioned it to be. This comes with the CD edition, a photobook (below the CD) and a 2012 schedule book which I am, once again, never gonna use (on the left)

I preordered the limited edition before they announced what the limited goods were, and when I found out it was only like this I considered cancelling my order because it just seems like a waste of money (like most of the CDs in my collection).

But then I opened the photobook and totally shat bricks.





HBIC, JNTM, MILF ETC. ETC.

Out of the 32-page photobook, I like every single photo. Seriously. And I can't believe this bitch is actually turning 30 this year. Plus I think this book is very ideal as a coffee table book, although I think they are pointless in general lol

And Ayu should also *ahem* take a page or two out of this photobook



(2012.02.01) ayaka - The beginning (CD+DVD | Limited Edition)

My gurl ayaka is back from her hiatus!!!

She was diagnosed with Grave's disease around 2008 / 2009 and it's some scary shit because it kinda makes your eyes pop out or something along that line. Thank goodness she's recovered!




Very simple packaging, but there's something sexy about it that I can't put a finger on. There's also a photobook which is completely filled with pictures of the sky over a period of time taken by ayaka herself. How lovely.

I haven't taken my ~virgin listen~ of the album yet because I didn't have the time to but I hopefully can tomorrow. I'm also glad that she's releasing the album without any lead singles because I personally like this kind of system better.

And speaking of not having any lead singles, Ayu's upcoming album also won't have any! So happy! For once, Ayu fans will not be so anal when reviewing the album, saying things like "Oh the singles tracks are so much better than the album tracks." Now everything is on fair ground. I loike.