Speech Day 2012 (Part 2: ...today's sad face) (Bonus points if you can guess the song!!!)

(click here for Part 1)

This year's Speech Day has also left a very dark scar in my "history" (of porn sites) because I have actually made a shittily boring speech.




(Video courtesy of Philana Rose Gonzalez Santhanaraj because I forced that bitch to)

Pretty shittastic isn't it? Maybe not to the ~atas~ people who were present (sometimes boring = inspirational apparently) but if you knew me you'd know that what I did was disappointing.

Sooooo I'd like to present to everyone what my ORIGINAL valedictorian speech was meant to be like! Not even hot & crispy *LAME JOKE* but the truly authentic first draft.

But before that here is a little preface because I am pretentious:

For this draft, everything came into my mind freely and I didn't even have to crack my skull thinking of things to say, except maybe when talking about the school culture and how much it has supposedly enriched me. But even with it being the most painful part, it was tolerable.

What I had written were the true, genuine feelings I had about my experience in this school and how it has made me become the loser that I am today who simply got lucky!

Unfortunately, surprise surprise, it was met with a ~COMPLETE~ disapproval by like the entire school when I first submitted it. Not only was it too informal, but they could also envision me reading it in a "bitchy tone".

It's a formal event they said. You can't say nonsense when you're right in front of the guest of honour, the principal and the rest, they said.

On a random side note I think it's quite funny how I might give the school a bad image to the guest of honour, who so happens to be the chairman of the school's advisory committee. You'd think that by now he'd be extremely aware of what our school reputation is like!

So I came up with a second draft with about 20% of the content cut off, which were admittedly some of the things that may have been out of line. Still quite funny, I thought. Until I received another email before I could even submit it that it must at all costs be ~formal and professional~. Ain't funny no more!!!

And the result is the boring pulp that you may have heard in the video above. The only word that was not in the script was "AEROPLANE!"

On the script they also changed Miss Teo's quote from "YOU BETTER BE THE TOP SCORER AH" to "You better be the top scorer Travis!" but it didn't have the Miss Teo effect that way so I stuck with the original. 

I wanted to do a hip thrust at the end of my speech but there were small children present (what for, I have no idea) and I didn't want to be corrupting young minds.

Anyway in the end, everybody was still very dissatisfied with my submissions so I decided to screw everything and just ask them to write the damn thing however they like it to be.

Which is hilarious because they even said that I should "write it properly because this is MY speech" but whatever that is "proper" is subjective isn't it? I thought my first draft was rather proper FOR ME. Admittedly it requires some polishing and minor improvements.

But oh, you know, it's a formal event! You can't try anything that is "out of the box". You will do it their way and you will deal. You know what this happens to remind me of? Pretentious dinner parties.

The reason why I wanted to make this as interesting as I could was because I have seen and heard enough of such speeches. Boring. Cliché as fuck. Sleep-inducing.

And those 3 words describe my finalised speech perfectly! Now it's just going to be as forgettable as the rest. So much for wanting to leave a lasting impression.

I got so pekcek that I even posted on Marcus' wall telling him that I'm more than willing to let him make the speech instead. Naturally, he said no.

Omg and I forgot to mention this. I EVEN ENDED THE SPEECH WITH A QUOTE! WHICH IS, IN MY BOOKS, A REALLY SINFUL OFFENSE. This is something I will never forgive myself for. It wasn't even me who found that quote, and by Dr. fucking Seuss at that. (This one was really forced against my will and I was even told not to "make things difficult" when I protested against the quote) 

I was even told that by making it serious and all, it will be even more so inspirational for my juniors.  This came from someone who isn't even from their generation. 

On the other hand, I am from the same generation, and I know that this is going to put them to sleep more than Morgan Freeman's Go The Fuck To Sleep. I know what they want - they want something interesting and funny, which is something I tried to bring to the table because when it's funny, the point gets across much easily and interestingly. (RE: Cebu Airlines Safety Demonstration)

And at such a stressful time for them when the O Levels are coming, I think it's very important for them to laugh and de-stress.  

I know I can just risk being blacklisted from ever entering the school again, fuck them over and just bring my original speech up. But I didn't do that because I still had that tiny bit of respect for the school so I wanted to give face. Which is diminishing at the same rate as Mrs Mano saying the word "ITE" on a daily basis.

OH ENOUGH OF MYSELF, you probably just scrolled past the whole emotional crap I just typed.
DISCLAIMER: I JUST HAD TO MAKE IT CHEESY AS SHIT

(insert long good afternoon acknowledgements here)

What was my impression of Jurong West Sec before I enrolled into the school? Full of good-for-nothings and a lousy neighbourhood school that can never produce good students.

Which makes it no surprise that JWSS was actually my third choice, and I was posted to my second -- Yuan Ching Secondary School. However, when I first stepped onto the school compound to register, I felt like something was not right. I did not feel like I should be there, and without hesitation I immediately pestered my mother to appeal me into JWSS, and that irritated her a bit because it was such a last minute decision.

To this day, I never regretted that decision by one bit. My intuition was right. I do belong to this school because I have made many great friends here, and have been nurtured under the care of some of the most amazing teachers I've ever met.

Who would have thought that the boy (oh god) who has always been an average student eventually climbed up to the very top? I would have never expected myself to be here, and something that I could only have hoped for. Usually I'd just say it jokingly, but I would shrug it off in my head and just say, "That's impossible! You'll never beat (insert name here. Bonus points if you can guess who)!" Never was my aim in JWSS to be standing here through the 4 years of my life here.

Being in JWSS has not only taught me a lot of things, but also things I didn't even know about myself. (sounds sexual)

Let's look at the school's EAGLES culture - the first E, Excellence, happens to be something I've come to realise I've always had within myself. Coming from someone who was never one to excel in his studies, or rather anything in life, in his early secondary school years, how else would I have gotten to where I was today? It's surprising, really, the things that a little bit of determination can make you do. Be it achieving a high-score of 5.6 million on Temple Run or shedding 14kg within 1 year.(voms your noms) (JUST KIDDING BULIMIA IS BAD FOR YOU OK)

But I can't entirely credit my achievements to myself alone. I also have my environment to thank. The school has proven to me as a place that enables me to study in peace without unnecessary distractions, as well as the motivation given to me by my teachers. Studying in this school has truly made me a stronger person, be it from enabling me to handle truckloads of pressure and stress or from enabling me to pick myself up after I have fallen down. Not physically, though, because I have yet to pass my 2.4km for NAPFA.

The school has not only made me excel academically but also given me ample opportunities to learn outside of school. Attending the Story Challenge competition in 2010 and the Singapore Secondary School Debating Championships in 2011, among other events, have proved to be an eye-opening experience meeting with students my age from all over the island, and it humbles me knowing that looking at the bigger picture, I am really nothing compared to many brilliant students out there. Jealous? Yes I was, but instead of whining in a corner I made efforts to improve myself and make sure that one day, I won't feel inferior beside them.

Being in the Red Cross Youth seemed like a complete waste of time when I was in Secondary 1. I'll be frank. But at the end of it all, after working hard to eventually become a Warrant Officer, my Red Cross Journey became an experience that I will never regret nor forget. It has taught me about leadership and compassion through activities from interacting with other students which, by the way, made me realise that in this little island, there could be people who have attitudes that were worse off than mine. How eye-opening!

Now here comes the part where some teachers must be looking forward to! I am really thankful of every single teacher who has taught me the past 4 years, and I'm not even trying to be condescending. Thank you, my form teachers from Sec 1 -- Ms C. Wong, Ms Nadira who isn't here anymore, Ms F.Teo, Mr C SY and Ms Rachel Teo, for putting up with all of my nonsense.

(The names must censor a bit because teachers loooove to use Google a lot)

I would also like to take the time to thank my Maths teacher, Ms Ho, who I dub as the holy Maths Goddess. She is truly an inspirational teacher who I really look up to. She has really worked hard to put not just me but the rest of the class under her at where we are right now.

I'd also like to thank her best friend, Mdm Lock, whom I will always remember her by her awesome fashion and wise words - "You must remember this by heart!" and "Where is my microphone?!".

The school is also now devoid of 3 extraordinary teachers who I respect a lot. Fortunately, they are here today (subject to change) and they are none other than Mrs S Tan, Ms Az and Mdm Ruby. (This is where I will look around to find them and say HI!!!!)

Thank you, Mrs Tan, for being the best youth officer in Red Cross ever. Although I was scared of you, Ms Az, at first, I have come to realise that you are one of the nicest teachers I have ever known. Lastly, Mdm Ruby, the Humanities extraordinare, thank you so much for trusting me as your Geography rep for 1 year and constantly reminding me that I cannot be a blur toad.

Last but not least, I have none other than Miss Rachel Teo to thank for being one of the best form teachers I have ever had. Never acting reserved in front of her students, she is just like a friend with the class. She has always been honest with everyone and I treat her the same way as well, like commenting on the hideous dresses she loves to wear and she incessantly telling me many things that are too mean for me to even remember. She's always had trust and faith in me which I'll always be thankful for although she likes to deny a lot of things. I'm especially thankful for the motivation she has given me, saying things like "Pride comes before a fall…" and "YOU BETTER BE THE TOP SCORER AH!"

I can't possibly thank every teacher who has taught me, but just like Miss Teo, trust me when I say that all of you made a significant contribution to where I stand today, as well as helping the graduating batch of 2011.

This is my advice to juniors who feel that they are not good enough. I disagree that not being good in academics is equivalent to being useless. It is not true that topping the school means I am the best. In fact, I disagree - I feel like I am the worst top scorer the school has ever produced. I am a rude person who hurls vulgarities on a regular basis and I make fun of people I don't like behind their backs. So don't feel discouraged because intelligence shouldn't be judged by how a fish climbs a tree!

Unlike many other cliché speeches, I will not end this off with a quote. I will not only end this by asking those who have been sleeping throughout my entire speech to wake up, but I will also end this speech off by saying that one thing that really motivated me to work this hard to be where I'm standing today. The Speech Day buffet which I have never gotten the chance to enjoy this past 4 years. And now… I'LL BE GETTING IT!

But oh wait… maybe I will end this off with a quote. A quote from one of my favourite TV shows, Modern Family, from Alex's valedictorian speech. "Don't stop believing, and let's get this party started!" Thank you.
So how? You loike? You don't loike? Whatever, because I think it's pretty kick ass. This is also the cheesiest that I can ever get.

On a closing note, I'd still like to thank those who attended the event and actually liked my speech (I'm talking to all 3 of you!) and thank those who actually bothered to read this post from top to bottom.

And to the top scorers / valedictorians of the future years of JWSS... TRUST ME, YOU WILL NEVER WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS SHIT, SO BE PREPARED


A teacher in JWSS once said "If you want to make a difference, do something different," and here I am, denied the chance of doing that. 

Talk is cheap, huh?


p/s. You know what's disappointing though? When the principal came up to me afterwards, telling me how Marcus and I should have gone to a JC instead, with his main point of argument being that "it's only 2 years instead of 3", placing more emphasis over it than how he thinks that we can supposedly do well for A Levels. Sigh, he can do so much better than that.

Me Dancesta

I haaaaveee neverrrr ever really danced in my life before but when I do, I look like Britney Spears at her 2007 VMA performance (we all know how that went), while thinking that I'm dancing like Koda Kumi.

And if you asked everybody they'd pretty much tell you that never can they imagine me actually dancing. May I present to you... me dancing.



I'm not cocky; I just loooOOoooOoooove myself

I'm the one at the farthest row slightly off center to the right! Sexy or what?

So here's the back story to how alllll of this came about. When I attended my school's bonding camp earlier this month we had this mass dance thing which was actually the choreography above!

We were separated into 3 different groups (or "tribes" as they call it) so at one point we had this "dance battle" between the 3 tribes. Apparently for mine they decided to choose 3 people from each of the 5 sub-tribes (Yes there's a group within a group) to represent the entire tribe as a whole!

My sub-tribe required one more person up and a senior specifically asked for a male volunteer which none of the 5 of us did, although secretly I was shouting "I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE!!!" in my head. And the next thing you know I GOT PICKED!!!

I ended up dancing like a bloody retard on stage (Nicolene and I kept looking at each other because we forgot the moves) and I was so damn sure that they weren't gonna pick me for this competition but they still did anyway!

So the competition which is called Dance 4 Fun is held annually as part of the freshmen orientation program where each school in NP sends out a group of representatives to have a friendly dance competition! My school which is the School of Film and Media Studies (FMS) actually won once in 2010 but got dethroned to second place last year, so this year we're trying to claim it back.

The choreography was done by 2 Year 3 students and one of them is Duane Ho, who you might remember was from Singapore Idol! And when I first saw him dance during the demonstration, I have to say that HE CAN DANCE. His body is flexible as hell!

I really doubted that they chose me solely because they thought I could dance, but I certainly enjoyed the huge ego boost I got when my friends told me that I actually danced sexily. SEXILY YOU KNOW. First time in my life people actually said I danced sexily!

After our camp our first training session was already on the coming Saturday, followed by Monday - Wednesday of intense training with the competition on Thursday, which was last week.

During the training we really had to get our sex on for this dance because while the highlight is usually on the costume, we were banking it all on our face and on one of the training sessions we literally spent a good half an hour listening to sexy sexy music dancing sexily trying to make the best sex faces that we can make. And that's as if my mind isn't already corrupted enough.

And tada! The video above is the fruition of our efforts! I have to say I am damn proud of myself for actually dancing properly for the first time ever and I felt so touched from the support of all my friends as well ;_;

Slutty low-quality front camera pictures taken on the day of the competition:


Sonia, me, Corinne and Gabrielle before putting our make up on


SEX FACE


Shantay, me, Cassandra and Shiori



The guys were supposed to have after-sex hair (or to make it sound more family-friendly, "bed hair") but somehow mine kept flattening despite having shitloads of hair spray



with Jacqueline



Firdaus and Sonia



The stage at the convention center


So after that it was finally my turn to have my makeup done, which I almost died from when I looked at myself for the first time...














I'M EDWARD CULLEN Y'ALL!!!!!1

Ok this was actually before they did the contouring thingy so it looks really creepy LOL. The person in the picture is Yue Jie who managed to win Gaga tickets on that day from some 987 contest!





With Firdaus and Nadia





Later joined in by Mariam and Kim. I can't tell who's the one at the back though oops sorry!



Smexy



With Nana who got into the school's hip-hop group!



The things I would do to make my school proud



With Kim



Jacqueline and I after having glitter sprayed all over our hair


And that's all for the photos!

I have to say that after appearing on stage to dance... it happened SO quickly that I'm not joking when I say that I even forgot what I had done on stage. I started to think about how many times I screwed up and then suddenly thinking "OH SHIT DID I EVEN DO THAT MOVE?" when I did LOL

But I really enjoyed dancing on stage leh! I wouldn't go as far as to say that dancing has always been a dream of some sort, but after dancing my ass off I feel that I now have a new-found interest towards it that I even decided to audition for the hip hop group myself hehehe

Aaanyway our school ended up not winning anything :( The winning school was EBM (Engineering w Business Management) and it was well-deserved, I must say! They were the only school that really impressed me, and if you asked Jacqueline who was beside me I kept shouting "OH MY FUCKING GOD" cuz I was just so amazed.

Nonetheless we all had fun, although later that night there was a small "Twitter war" between FMS and EBM students, where some of them even went to make insulting fat remarks about Duane which I thought were simply rude and offensive, even going on to say that he was the cause of our loss!

All I have to say is that Duane really worked his ass off. You could really tell that he gave his all to this and even while waiting for our makeup to be done he was practicing by himself, dancing while listening to the music. Plus, he can dance better than so many of us! I don't get it. Haters gonna hate.

I wouldn't mind joining this again next year if I have the chance to, although I wasn't really any of the outstanding ones for this event so they may not even want to choose me LOL.

But I feel very happy because my friends like Edrie, Philana and Sabrina said that they were all very proud of me ;_;

And a big big thanks to all those who also thought that I danced really sexily that night because I can never get enough of comments associating me with the word "sexy"! ;)

I shall go to sleep now because it's damn late LOL

Speech Day 2012 (Part 1: Today's happy face...)

When I think about our school's Speech Day, the first thing that comes to my mind is... what the hell.

I distinctly remember back then in Sec 1 when I was told to be part of the "reception" for the buffet in the evening which was held at the parade square.

What I had to do was literally ask the guests if they'd like another cup of drink, to which I'd bring their cup all the way to the front to the dispenser to pour out more cheapo fruit punch before walking allll the way back to them. That's pretty shit if you ask me, but we did get to bring home the leftovers which makes everything all good.

And then fast forward 3 years later, I'd watch the Speech Day in 2011 celebrating the school's 10th anniversary.

It was then when it suddenly struck upon me that I have never won a single speech day award in my entire miserable life.

As each person walked up the stage to get their stinky little plaque...(cue dramatic tone) the resentment, allll the anger you could imagine that was building up inside of me.

And the buffet. YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE BUFFET. Fucking amazing, and guess what? I had none of it, because I was not academically awesome enough to deserve such a sumptuous spread.

It was then I told myself... I WILL MAKE SURE I GET THE BUFFET NEXT YEAR! Which was when the joke of the year (self proclaimed) was created. "I worked hard for my O Levels for the speech day buffet!"

Now it's 2012 and JWSS' 11th annual Speech Day took place 2 Fridays ago.

What... a shithole. (Oh snap!)

Alright, everything went better than I had expected but I guess it's because of how grand last year's event was so I thought it'd be something like that this year again.

Let's say it's like your favourite artist putting out an amazing album, then having the next album sounding like absolute shit.

Who decides on the budget allocation each year on this event?

I mean...



On the right was last year's speech day program, all professionally done and cool as hell. Even the valedictorian had an entire page to himself!!

(Yes I kept it because I am a hoarder. Also, there's a pretty hot picture of Mdm Lock inside)

And then we have this year's speech day program on the left, printed on A4 plain paper, and just looks sloppy all over.

I don't know if it's because that I'm fat that apparently this year's theme was about food.

We didn't even get a concert during the actual speech day, but they had a mini musical thing going on in the morning only for the students to see. And the principals. Which was pretty sad, although I did get to watch a little during their rehearsals.

Now let's talk about the buffet.

After all the effort I put in for this moment... hoping that just like last year's, it'd be just as awesome being seated at the round tables in the parade square, dining under the invisible stars with the other prize winners... pretty much went down the drain.

It was... underwhelming because first of all, it was at the cyber café / canteen.



It did have a great variety but the food wasn't really that great either, except the mee siam. There was roti prata which only looked good but in actuality it's oily as hell. The carrot cake was cold and... you know.

Oh, right, because it's only the 11th year, nothing special!!! We didn't even have a fire to start off the event with a bang! (Too soon?)






I know I'm sounding like a spoilt brat, a whiny assed child complaining about every single thing because I think I am king shit.

Truthfully speaking it was a great pleasure attending the event despite having to leave my orientation program so early but I will always be grateful for the awards I received that afternoon.

But I would prooobably think twice about calling this event one of the main highlights of the year.



Baby I know


I was pleasantly surprised because I found out that I wasn't even going to win 3 awards, but 4! The additional one was the Outstanding Student of the Year award! I have no idea how I ended up being more outstanding than Wong Si Yuan, but ok.

Which means I've robbed the awards of 2 people now. ~Guilty~



I could literally hear the crowd going WOAHHH when I started climbing the steps because I was terribly overdressed for the event, but it was exactly what I was told to dress like since I'll be making the valedictorian speech.

And while we're on the topic of my outfit, the pants really suffocated my balls. It was sooo tight down there, they were trying so hard to break free and just escape!

The funny thing is how when I bought it, they said that their suits are specially tailored to fit Asian bodies. Ohhh I see what you did there.

I could have bought a bigger size but I didn't like the idea of wearing something L-sized again.




We had to bow after receiving every award and apparently each time I bowed, for a total of 3 times, I heard some people laugh. As I would find out later I bowed in a really retarded way where I'll just bow with only one shoulder going down, as you can see above HAHAHA good grief






My 4 newborn babies!

These are the first awards I've ever received IN MY LIFE. No shit. I didn't even win anything during my time in JWPS. If there ever was a fire in my house they are the first things I'll grab. Together with my pirated copy of Red Alert 2.

"These are but pieces of plastic, Travis... you shouldn't be so superficial..." ah fuck off




My Adele moment



I don't usually win speech day awards, but when I do, it's 4 of them (ur hur hur so funny)

Apparently many people were amused when I set this as my Facebook picture that it got 70 likes! It's like I'm a popular ah lian with 1000 friends who just posted a picture of her toe.

Pictures from the event:



Me doing the valedictorian speech (which will be blogged about on another post soon)



With Philana who's the top student for Combined Humanities (History)!



Us with our favourite SS extraordinare!



Vivian aka Ching Cheng, top student for English~



Sophia who got top student for D&T~



With Adeline who went home to dress up just so she could come in because she was initially refused entry for dressing too casually LOL



With Evavava





The BFFs Mdm Lock and Ms Ho. By the way, Ms Ho recently retired! So happy for her, escaping before shit starts to hit the wall





Ms Lin, Mrs Chong, Mr Leong and Ms Tan



Dearest Red Cross juniors!



Blurry pic with Ms Lim!





Amos who crashed the party hahaha



With Yee Loong








This is Miss Teo, the only teacher who got a special mention from my valedictorian speech. And guess what, ladies and gentlemen! When I mentioned her name, her phone decided to conveniently ring and instead of rejecting the call she picked it up and went outside!!!!!

After the thing ended she then cooped herself up in the staff room because she was ~*busy*~. Sigh.

Nonetheless it was nice coming back to see all these familiar faces again :D


I didn't mention anything about how the valedictorian speech went yet because it's going to sound really serious and now is not the time to sound serious. So... I'll write about it soon. Hehehehehehe

(click here for Part 2)

USA 2011 Part 3.0 -- Paying my BFF a visit

1.0 | 2.0 | 2.1 | 3.0 | 4.0 | 4.1 | 5.0 | 6.0 | 7.0 | 8.0 | 9.0 | 10.0


On the 4th day into our trip we decided that since Nashville was near Memphis, why not?

As you may or may not know Memphis is also where Elvis Presley's home is which has also turned into a tourist attraction. Of course must go la! Plus, Memphis is full of my favourite African American people so it makes it all the more better.

So we made our way to the Greyhound bus station reaally early in the morning. Remember how we tried to walk there by foot the previous day? Yea, it was so far and we couldn't be bothered so we just took a cab there instead LOL

While waiting at the station I had a croissant at the station where Eva and I were sitting behind this other guy (bonus points if you can guess the race) who was really nice and asked us if we were Korean because he was apparently learning that AND Japanese.

When we said our first language was English he went all shocked and said "Seriously?!" LOL. He wasn't the first American to react that way though.

Then when we were queuing at the entrance this group of people (bonus points if you can guess the race again) upon finding out that we were from Singapore asked how the people of Singapore say "How are you?". Our reply was "How are you?" LOL! What ensued was them going apeshit.

~Singaporeans educating foreigners about Singapore one human at a time~

Meanwhile here are some ~scenic~ pictures taken while on the bus:


Bon appetit





(The temperatures are all measured in Fahrenheit so the 20 degrees is really -7 degrees C. I know.)




Taken during the stop at another station. Macam artistique, and taken using the iPhone some more





After a short cab ride we reached Graceland, the home of Elvis Presley!

Well, honestly, I never really gave a fuck about Elvis but it's always nice to learn more about people. Talk about being condescending.



Le entrance

There were a lot of exhibitions and tours that you can go there but I think the most interesting one is the tour of his house and all that because it even comes with an audio tour that really talks about Elvis, his lifestyle and all that. The rest simply exhibit his 10 000 cars, clothes, achievements and shows.



His living room with a lit Christmas tree to celebrate the festivity that was around the corner



The master bedroom



The dining room. I've always liked the oval-shaped dining tables that look so grand with the chairs and the chandelier. I will totally wanna get something like that in my future home because I am a pretentious fucker.



The kitchen. I believe the stove has always been clean because Elvis comes across as a person to me who wouldn't cook, and the only reason he would go into the kitchen is to open the fridge and get himself a beer, after which he'll be like "Bitch, go make me a sandwich" or something like that.




This is the... TV room or something, but I am creeped out by that scary animal statue there.



A blurry picture of the pool room, but at this point I was like what the fuck is wrong with this guy because even the CEILING is carpeted!



Another irritating room called the "Jungle Room" which also has green carpets on the ceiling, along with more of the creepy statues AND a creepy panda there. With a fountain on the wall. What... a show off.



The room doesn't even have any significant purpose. It's just... there. Like a room you'd make in Habbo Hotel.



A firing range

And who would have thought that I'd actually get the chance to see a celebrity there in the flesh?! 












Guest appearance by Sarah Jessica Parker!!!!!




Some of his many awards and achievements



More of his many awards and achievements



Mother of god

After walking through the walk of shame knowing you'll never be as successful as Elvis, we entered this room with a collection of many things like paintings, clothes etc etc







A croissant-shaped swimming pool... which is something I will never have... or will I?



Fuck off (Bonus points if you can find the crooked one on the wall. How many points do you have now?)





Graves.



My dead BFF...




I like how the birth year and the death year have the same digits #4D



Squirrels which I'm sure Katniss will come shoot them right in the eye every single time (Sorry but I just watched the hunger games after all)

Then we stopped by somewhere to have our lunch which was a little bit pricey which we all know is obviously not what you would expect at a tourist attraction



I had the chicken tenders sandwich I think which tasted pretty ordinary and I thought the buns were dry a well so it was dry on top of dry. I loved the coleslaw a lot though. See? I'm letting you know what's shit so you don't have to if you ever come here.

What I really liked was their meatloaf sandwich though which Eva got because that shit was GOOD. I regretted not buying that.

After that we made our way to this huuuuuge dark place that focused entirely on showing off Elvis'...





Fucking cars. Like you're not starting to hate him already.





He actually had a lot more than that but it was really boring yet everybody was trying to act like they're so fascinated by it. Okay maybe I was. Or not.

What I was fascinated by though, or at least seemingly in pictures, is this plane named after his daughter whut whuuuut






Me acting like I'm so excited while gloriously photobombed by Eva's mother

Ok la actually the interior is nothing very extravagant but it did have really expensive leather seats as far as I can remember.

And that is all I have for pictures because the other exhibits we went to were once again talking about his history and stuff so it will bore the fuck out of you if I posted them here.

Trivia time!!!

Did you know that Elvis' death is said by some to be faked? They said that he feigned his death, changed his face and all that and is now living life as a completely different person because he wanted to escape from all this celebrity shizz especially given how Elvis really was pretty damn huge during those days.

And I guess you can see that even from the pictures of his ridiculously retarded house, it doesn't seem like one would be very happy living there isn't it. I mean, come on, carpeted ceilings? And what is he gonna do with so many god damn cars?



Segue picture


So after our tour we decided to head down to Beale Street which is another place tourists would go mainly because of its clubs and restaurants but we were quite surprised to find that the place actually turned out to be rather empty





I have to say the place looks really nice though, especially later at night when the neon signboards really light up the street.

Behind me in the picture were some stunt performers who you must never make eye contact with because they will first perform this amazeballs stunt, look at somebody in the eye, and immediately rush to them hoping for a tip.

Don't get me wrong, I gave them USD1 already! But when they made eye contact with me for the second time and started running towards me AGAIN I was like oh no you didn't!

At least they still said thank you even though you don't give them any money. If this were to happen in Singapore they'll probably spit in your face then proceed to kick you in the balls.



A live band performing oooOOoooOoo



Some event going on at the FedEx forum ooOOoOoooOoo



Probably one of the reasons why this place is popular among tourists. If you can see it. ;) (+ Bonus points!)



Watch out, Edrie



We actually weren't that hungry but we decided to spend time in this bar which was quite empty before heading back to the station and we ordered this!



Which is half a roasted chicken with coleslaw and baked beans. Loved it.



And this is how the street looks like when it gets dark!

As you can see the street is still quite empty which was really puzzling.

We asked the taxi driver later on and as it turns out, since we went on a Sunday, everyone was already knocked out on Saturday night after getting drunk and doing a little bit too much of cracky wacky, if you know what I mean ;)

When we arrived at the station there was still plenty of time left so I did a little photoshoot outside doing ridiculous shit like this:



And there's a lot more from where that came from which you will ~not~ want to see, hun.

To further prove that I am retarded I saw someone who had a fur wrap (faux or not, I don't know) around him and I thought it was a dog so I was like "Omg that dog is so cute!" until he then flipped it to the underside and I was like oh.




I took this picture to show you the picture of this person chillaxing over there. It's funny because after Eva's mum saw that, she said

"Hoi gum fei orh liu tai m dou gor di dick!" in Cantonese.

Which translates to "He's so fat, when he's peeing he can't see the dick!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG LAUGHED MY FUCKING ASS OFF

I am so going to hell.

But at least I'm promoting religious harmony by saying now that I saw 2 different billboards during the journey to Memphis promoting 2 websites, namely ChristianMingle.com and WhyIslam.org. Have fun, everybody.

I shall end off with this picture, which sends out a very strong message to all Singaporeans that even though I am Chinese, which takes up majority of the population in Singapore, (cue hysterical sobbing),













I know how it feels, ;_; ...to be a minority in a country.

And I'd like to clarify that I don't hunch my back like that all the time. You orh liu tai m dou gor di dick.


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