Playing with myself (may or may not be sexual)

I was randomly typing shit into my blog's search bar and read some posts from a looong looong time ago. Then I realised how much of an annoying fuck I was. Oh wait, I still am. How did I have friends ah? I suddenly feel so grateful for having so many friends standing by me all these years <3

Also this is going to be like confessionals but not really.

What I initially wanted to be was to be a journalist. Just writing shit all day long. But I've realised, and actually for a verrrry verrrry long time already that... writing about other stuff isn't really at the top of my list.

It's not that I don't want to be a media practitioner anymore, but I just don't think I'll be able to be cut out as a journalist, unless somehow I can carve a career out of writing this blog like Xiaxue which is pretty much impossible by now.

People have told me before that they think my writing is really good but after being in Mass Comm, I realised that... what I want to be is not to be behind the camera, but rather be in front of the camera. Yep. I'm an attention whore though I don't really show it in real life as much as I do here.

This is probably fuelled by the fact that the behind-the-camera people are reaaally under-appreciated and I just don't like that feeling. I mean, nobody does, but I crave attention dammit.

But who knows? I've always wanted to be in the entertainment industry. Somehow I've always felt like I want to go into acting, theatre, drama and all that but I always thought it was just impossible to achieve, and therefore never really did anything about it.

They weren't joking when they said Mass Comm was competitive. My coursemates are already doing things way above an average student like me. I don't think it's far off from how competitive the entertainment industry out there is too, and I'll admit it's making me scared. Very.

I'm also very envious of the coursemates who are able to just do their own thing without being affected by their surroundings. They are so bochup about it and it is a good thing because they are so carefree and just don't give two shits.

But is it wrong to want to achieve so much? Why must I be so ambitious? I'm getting so worried over shit when I shouldn't be.

With that said though, right now in my poly life I'm not even going to try and be like the top student or anything. I'm just going to let everything be and just enjoy the learning process no matter what the outcome is.

I've decided that if I get a shit GPA then it's fine, cuz at least I had a great time learning something I'm interested in. Although I might get whiny for the first 24 hours but I'll get over it usually pretty quickly anyway.

Maybe if all else fails in life career-wise for me I'll just go be a porn star or something. We'll see, we'll see...

Public Hair (May or may not be typo)

I just realised I didn't tell a lot of people this but I'm actually going to Ipoh, Malaysia with Eva and her fam in like 8 hours from now HAHA! It's not even a last minute decision the tickets were booked way back in February! Oh well, now you know.

I also finally got my hair re-permed today! My virgin perm was back in March and it lasted for a really short time cuz it's my first time so the hair was still quite "stubborn". Also I realised it's just not long enough to have the desired curls, so it ended up just being wavy.

I knew that for the past 1 month my hair was already back to its normal, straight state but I was still heavily in denial that it lasted so shortly so I just left it as it is. Until it became so badly uncontrollable that I couldn't even stop myself from looking like Steven Lim, as said by many others.

By the way so many people compared me to Steven Lim on Twitter that the ~famous celebrity~ himself tweeted to me "Hi lookalike" OH GOD WHY

Nonetheless I permed it again and it totally exceeded my expectations! It's like extreme makeover, but not really. But woah it was totally like what I thought it'd be lor! I loike. Okay then again I can't really make a fair judgement since the perm has yet to even relax itself LOL.

Meanwhile here are 2 photos out of many others during my narcissistic camwhoring session with Eva's dog





Quite funny how I look like a Korean wannabe when I never ever thought about being one HAHA. Actually the whole idea of perming my hair just came when the stylist who gave me a haircut many months ago just casually commented "Actually you should perm your hair leh" and I was like OHHHHH YEAAAA HAHAHAH.

To add on to the happiness my fringe is finally short again so I don't have to keep sweeping it to the side like a hobo.

ANYWAY there has been feedback ranging from me looking like a "Korean popstar" to looking like a "China man who just woke up, forgot to bathe then want to seduce his wife". Thanks ah Sabrina.

So yay overall I am still very satisfied and your negative comments are all IRRELEVANT! Hahahahahaha I'll hopefully take lots of photos over the weekend in Ipoh and blog about it when I'm back.  

p/s. Eva's parents told me just now that they're very concerned about my weight cuz I'm losing it at a really unhealthy rate, and tbh right now I'm not exactly at a healthy weight either. I don't even know what's wrong with my body! Can't say it's a totally good thing cuz it's quite scary lol! Oh well, my body fat percentage is still not going down so I dunno what's being lost and I shall therefore just die 

Warped Dreams Episode 69

Like I mentioned 2 posts earlier, I've been taking really irregular, unnecessary naps for no reason. And I woke up from a 2-hour one yesterday night!

What did I gain from it? Pretty traumatizing memories from a really hilarious dream. I may have also sweated out the entire cup of soya bean I had before I slept.

Ok ok here are the exciting details! I remember we were apparently having a lesson with this female lecturer who is rather fat and has really short hair, wearing a short-sleeved plaid shirt (some of you might know what's my other name for it) with shorts. And sandals.

Where? The notorious, infamous, block 50!!! Jeng jeng jeng!!!

She also expressed her immense fear for this building and said that she once had an ~encounter~. It didn't help that we were having our tutorial from 8pm-9pm. Earlier on I had checked out a camera for LocVid and left it below my table, which I foolishly forgot to take after the lecture.

The reason why I forgot is because the moment the clock hit 9pm the lecturer was like "OK BYE BYE!!" and quickly darted out of the classroom, followed by everyone else so I was panicking since nobody wants to be the last person in Block 50. I distinctly remember yelling after Sarah Ong because she was the second-last person before me.

It wasn't until it was like 9:57pm did I suddenly realise I left my LocVid camera in the classroom! Bloody shit! I immediately tried calling, of all people, Miss Hong, to no avail. So I called the next best person, who was Mr Tan! He picked up and best of all he was still in school!

So the two of us begrudgingly had to venture to block 50 to retrieve that one camera, which I was so dead sure was being fiddled around by the ghosts already. We entered the lift and pressed for the 7th floor.

The lift overshot and brought us to the 10th floor.

I was like "Shit wrong floor wrong floor! How to go down?" and Mr Tan walked out of the lift. We suddenly heard something fall and a baby crying!!! I asked "Is that a baby crying?!" and we all quickly ran back inside the lift.

The lift brought us back to the 1st floor and a pizza deliveryman stepped in. He was holding 2 boxes of pizza and also going to the 7th floor! I was like "Haha you think now got people meh if nobody there you give us for free ah haha."

The moment the lift door opened, the pizza man stepped out and was like "Hey! Here's your pizza!". Mr Tan and I were like oh shit and stepped outside to a horrific sight!

The people... or "things" we saw... were, to put it in the nicest terms, like taquitos with limbs. Reaaally thick, life-sized taquitos. We were like AHHHHHHHHH and ran back into the lift. Mr Tan said he will retrieve the camera tomorrow morning and that I won't be penalized whatsoever. Yay!

And that was my extremely warped dream. In retrospect, it's actually quite funny. This is one of the rare times I could actually distinctly remember what happened in a dream.

Or maybe... it was... not a dream. EHEHEHEHEHEHEH

p/s. Yesterday I was looking for retainer-cleaning tablets in Watsons (which I did not manage to find and I still desperately am) and one of the sales assistants was like "Want to buy facial wash? For pimple one" which I replied "Yea have already" and gave a condescending smile sigh WHY CAN'T I HAVE FLAWLESS SKIN

USA 2011 Part 4.0 -- Baltimore with more Asians

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After spending our first 4 days in Nashville we would then head to Baltimore to stay for 10 days! That's right! But that's because Eva's aunt is residing there so we'll be staying at her house. So exciting!

Just kidding. She has 3 kids aged 3, 6 and 9 at that time so I expected beforehand that shit would definitely hit the wall.

That day also happened to be Eva's mother's birthdayyyyy!


Picture of cab interior which is redundant cuz it's so damn black





Had to wake up at 4.30am to catch the flight to Cincinatta before transitting to Baltimore but as luck would have it, the flight was delayed and will therefore clash with our second flight.

We ended up changing our flight to a 50-minute one to Memphis instead and then transit to Baltimore from there.







It was interesting to note that on the plane, majority of the passengers were white. Compared to when we took the bus there majority of the passengers were black. Talk about racial disparity oooOOooOOo it's like playing a game of reversi. (waiting for the stones to come at me)

It was also intersting to note that while transitting I ate a Starbucks cookie that was only slightly bigger than my palm and yet was 450 whopping calories which definitely helps my diet (helps in giving me more stuff to puke out) (just kidding)



At the pick-up zone where Eva's uncle Alan would pick us up. His kids are so blessed! They have like mini televisions strapped onto the back of the seats. *throws arms up in exasperation* AMERICANS! Philana are you reading this

But nothing could be more blissful than what I saw we were going to have for lunch



FINALLY SOMETHING THAT ISN'T 1000 CALORIES!!! (Though I think I did consume much more than that) 4 days is enough to make me realize that I cannot make it without my asian food. Come on, it's sweet and sour pork.

There is also this plate of fried chicken thing that looks like the Japanese karaage chicken but it's not. Apparently auntie May calls it "tian tian rou" (sweet sweet meat wtf) (sounds sexual) but it really is tian tian rou! There's no fat at all but yet is able to be crispy and tender! Must have been whatever they inject in their KFC chickens as well. But it's alright cuz it's good.



These are their cuuuuute kids!! Their only son, Brendan is at the back watching TV. Not only is he a Bobby Lee lookalike, but he is also a stereotypical Asian. I saw one of his test results and he scored a 100! I know.



Ur hur hur I'm so tall



Would these be... ORBS? ooooOOOoOOoooOoo



And would those be... CREEPY RED EYES? oooOoooOOOoo

ANYWAY we went out to a nearby shopping mall nearby called Arundel Mills. Well, from a Singaporean's perspective it's not actually nearby cuz it's like a 15-minute drive but for Americans that's pretty damn near.



My first reaction when I first saw it was... this mall is pretty damn huge. And it's only one storey! I swear the size of the entire mall is like the size of Singapore. I'm not exaggerating when I say that it's impossible for you to shop and walk through the entire mall within a day.



The parking lot which is the size of Russia

Anyway we didn't do a lot of shopping since it's only our first day and we still have many more chances to go. But since it was Eva's mother's birthday we decided to head to the Red Lobster to celebrate!




Mmmmmmmm



Your best friends



Say hi!



My ~*sunset passion colada*~ which was so bloody sweet and kinda tastes like cheesecake which was weird.



Grilled Maine lobster with peppercorn sirloin MMMMMMMMM even I am making myself hungry typing this because being bulimic has made me so hungry and bitter. Ok I should stop making such insensitive remarks before NP revokes my scholarship LOLOL

Though honestly speaking... for a restaurant named Red Lobster the lobster portions aren't very big hor? Ok I'm just being greedy lol OK I AM GRATEFUL FOR THE FOOD THAT IS BESTOWED UPON ME!!



OM NOM NOM NOM



Eva's steak and fries. The former looks like it's really small because it's engulfed in the fries but both portion sizes are actually damn big.

What I noticed about aunite May's kids is that they looooove eating carbohydrates. They refuse to eat meat and would rather eat bread / biscuits / french fries! When I was their age I refused to eat rice!



Are these what they call... ORBS? ooooOOOoOooOoo btw it was drizzling



3 books I ordered from amazon prior to our arrival cuz shipping is so darn cheap eheheheh. All 3 books happen to be damn good. Can't wait for the film adaptation for Charlotte Doyle!


---

I slept at 10.30am and woke up the next day at 7 to a pleasant surprise!!!



Tell me that doesn't look good. The sugary crust on the outside was just too much to handle. I just can't. And it's so soft... anyway I think it tasted so good that I went back to sleep. ~*Healthy living*~

This day was just to really laze around and I even contemplated on getting a snuggie just because I saw an ad for it.




We did go to Walmart and Sam's Club to get some groceries. Once again, bloody huge and only one level. Interestingly I found out that when you buy some of the clothing there they even give the hanger to you!




Last 3 of the 6 books which I ordered at Amazon



And after a day of pretty much doing nothing the next day was already a week since we've arrived in the US!

We only went to Arundel Mills the entire day before going to a Vietnamese restaurant nearby for lunch where they served ridiculously big portions (oh, what a surprise) of food as you'll see later.



The exterior of the mall. You'll get lost even by walking around the perimeter! I think.



Big booty bitches





Another picture of the interior of Arundel Mills. I see some familiar people in there, if you know what I mean.



The picture definitely does not justify the actual size of the plate of this innocent-looking hor fun. This shit be lethal as hell. Just look at the proportion of the dish to the standard-sized tablespoon.

And may I present to you my bowl of beef pho, which may I emphasise wasn't even upsized (yes, you can even upsize it):





If that isn't crazy, I don't know what is. And these are probably the longest and thickest (that's what I said) beansprouts I've ever seen! Not to mention the soup is just so flavourful... unfortunately they put in a lot of beef tendon which I can never appreciate so I got chided for being wasteful LOL



Lol Pooh



Me dunno doing what holding my first ever $1 churro!!!



And here is another suggestive shot with my first ever $1 churro!!!

 Actually it's only nice on the first bite. After that I got bored of it already and just left it on the table. Plus, it's so damn long! (That's what I said)



This is their backyard where you can have easy access to your neighbour's backdoor if you want to be a creepy ass stalker.


Clearly, being in the US for one week and around so many small children was too much for me to handle.



Yep. Jump in my hoopdy hoopdy hoop.


p/s. Tomorrow is Father's Day!! I'm gonna get my father... oh wait. (doesn't even need a punch line) (My dad will not be proud of the above pic.)


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Term break? BREAK? HAHAHAHAHAHA

It is officially the 2-week ~term break~ which is really pointless because term break also like no break.

The assignments I have to do during these 2 weeks are incredulous!!! I guess the saying holds true when they say the school of FMS stands for Forever Missing Sleep. Personally I interpret it as Forever Motherfucking Sexy.

I think it would have been easier to handle if not for the fact that I have a 3-day camp next week (wouldn't be the first time for me to do my work after 10pm again I guess) and I'm also going to Ipoh over the last weekend of the term break!

So exciting because I can do my Digital Photography assignment there which focuses on People Photography. So of course taking pictures of lapsap people would be ideal.

I also have a debate to prepare for my Media in Society module where the motion states that "The Media influences society more than it reflects it" and I'm in the proposition team! Can't wait to get my ass kicked again!

Recently submitted my assignment for Digital Media Fundamentals too and I regret handing in relatively sloppy work which is my fault because I pretty much had the mentality of getting it over and done with while doing it. It's all because I saw my other coursemates' work which blew my mind away!!! So damn good! Nevermind I shall work hard next time like the inner mugger everyone claims I have.

Oh yea! I also got the NP Scholarship!!! Dance dance party party! I wanted to lay low about it but Meifang tweeted about it so everyone (by everyone I mean 5 people) knows about it already LOL. I also got into the Cristeiraisaidasi Program for the outstanding students! Must revoke my scholarship already because I can't even spell it right.

The others who didn't get the scholarship but was shortlisted for the interviews did get $50 though!

I am also once again struggling with my time management because I am back to having frequent, irregular naps AGAIN which I highly doubt is caused by my lack of sleep for the past 200 days.

Yesterday I slept for 10 hours through the night. Then at 4pm I slept till 6pm. Then at 7.30pm I slept till 8pm. Then at 8.05pm I fell asleep AGAIN till like 9.20pm. The saddest thing is that I still felt tired. What if I have leukemia oh nuuuuuuuuuu

The only thing you should know that's relevant to you is that I am back to working on my USA Trip posts from 1876! It's been a long time! Although my rate of work will be slower since I place greater importance in my schoolwork. *insert Clement and Blair calling me a mugger then giving me the judgemental mugger stare*


Here is a KAWAII-NE photo of me before I end



(the difference between an AD student, i.e. Ian at the back, and a dunno-what-he's-doing-here student)


p/s. Happy Birthday to BFF SOPHIA CHUA SHUFEI!!! Although her birthday just ended but ok. We bought so much shit for her and watched Madagascar 3! In sum: Our surprise failed, GV's new tickets suck balls, movie was naise, and Edrie and I went to the Vans warehouse sale afterwards where I was pretty much the minority, if you know what I mean.

The Born This Way Ball - 28 May 2012




Lady Gaga
The Born This Way Ball
Singapore Indoor Stadium
28 May 2012
DISCLAIMER: This would be a pretty damn good time to close the window if you're trying to avoid spoilers for the tour!!! Don't even bother scrolling down. This post is so damn long, you won't make it to the end
So last week I went to watch the first ever show of Lady Gaga's Born This Way Ball in Singapore and if I had to describe this entire experience it would be surreal, exciting and dramatic.

And I live to tell the tale because I am a bad ass ur hur hur. Sorry, I mean Bad Kid *ba dum tss*


1) Pre-Pre-Concert

I remember earlier this year when the tour date here was announced and I immediately called Sibyl because if there is anybody I want to share my first Gaga experience with, it's her. (This is the part where she's supposed to cry) After all, she was the one who introduced me to Gaga in the first place!

So when I found out that the tickets were an incredulous $288 I casually asked "Wanna get the $188 tickets instead" and she was like "NO" without hesitating HAHAH

Come the day before the tickets were being put up on sale via the American Express presale, I thought I'd be able to wake up in time to order the tickets at the stroke of 9:00AM.

I was wrong.

I woke up a few minutes after 9, and even then didn't even panic but slowly switched on my PC. I logged onto SISTIC at about 9:06AM.


EVERYTHING SOLD OUT


FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE and Sibyl was so fucking pissed she started to cry over the phone, especially after how her sister asked her before it went on sale if she wanted tickets but she was like "Oh my friend is gonna buy later!" SO IT WAS ALL MY FAULT

Eventually SISTIC ended up being a fucking liar because every time you refresh there'd be new tickets available so that's pretty fucked up.

Long story short we got the tickets!!!!


Fast forward many weeks later we were already contemplating on our costumes because nobody goes to a Lady Gaga concert underdressed. Or at least that's what they all say.

My initial idea was to dress up as Jo Calderone from Gaga's Yoü and I, but we later on realised that it looks too simple and all the other guys will probably wear the same shit. (I was wrong)

So my plan B was pretty much something like what the Judas dude in her Judas music video wore, except instead of a crown of thorns (I don't want to be stoned to death) it'll be a paisley bandana like what Gaga wore. I even bought pyramid studs off eBay to stud the back of the jacket!

Sibyl on the other hand already planned to sew an entire mermaid dress by herself, complete with fins and all, inspired by Yuyi in Yoü and I as well. Fucking crazy!

In fact she didn't even start constructing the costume until March and we had to go to Spotlight just to search for suitable fabric for the dress.

I ended up having to carry the super bulky phallic-looking fabrics around the store for her.

I was already panicking for her by the time May came because all of a sudden she decided to WORK but with her mother's help she managed to complete it on time! Turns out I was the one who was behind time with my costume LOL

Ever since the tour kicked off in South Korea Sibyl and I abstained as much as possible about the tour, including setlists and costumes. We did see the stage, but only the concept sketch that Gaga tweeted!

Unfortunately at one time I logged into Facebook and some idiot decided to post the entire setlist and thus I knew the first 3 songs of the setlist. It was a quick glimpse though, so I couldn't remember its particular order.

I also accidentally saw some pictures of some outfits, and those couldn't be unseen either. Sad life. ~First world problems~ 


2) Pre-Concert

Honestly Sibyl and I wanted to camp for many nights from the start because we wanted to see Gaga backstage so badly but we decided not to be kiasu in the end. Besides, I had school and she had fucking WORK.

On Saturday night we were chatting via FaceTime and Sibyl was panicking like mad because I had yet to start studding my jacket, and since it's the first time I'm attempting at this she thought I'd take a damn long time.

I started at 12AM and I was done by 3AM! Better than expected, I must say.

I forgot to mention that I was actually studding a huge-ass JUDAS at the back, together with a cross. I wanted to do a skull at first, but I tried to make one and it ended up looking like shit.

So eventually we decided to camp overnight outside the Singapore Indoor Stadium because some people posted online that they were and we thought it'd be... fun.

Initially I wanted to head there at 5PM first because my fellow coursemates Kimberly and Josiah were! But just a few hours before that we all received the notice that overnight queuing was NOT allowed, and that to help prevent crowding they'll be carrying out a numbered wrist tagging system instead, where we will re-queue later on in the afternoon before the actual show!

Thus I decided to go later since Sibyl will only end work at 10PM and we both conceded on the idea of     simply lazing around the area until the next morning, so it's not exactly camping within the stadium's premises.

In my classic combination of lapsap clothes, I wore a plain white tee (it was planned to be worn under the jacket) with boxers and slippers. To say that I looked like a karang guni is an understatement.

To add on to that I also lugged a shoebag containing my shoes (because our plan was to camp then change a few hours before the show) along with a huuuuge Forever 21 plastic bag containing my costume, a few black garbage bags as a "compressible mat" (practical or what) and some other necessities we would need for the camp.

After a lot of rushing about we finally reached the stadium at around 12:30AM, except we had a problem -- we didn't know where everyone was.

First we walked to the Stadium MRT to fetch my classmate, Kim, who was also going for the concert. Then we started our search for Kimberly and Josiah!

During our search we saw a bunch of people waiting nearby at the Kallang Theatre, whom were intimidating because we thought they were ah bengs hanging around in the middle of the night. They even waved at us but we tried to avoid eye contact to save our lives.

When we found Jo and Kimberly at the taxi stand's staircase, we found out that the misjudged ah bengs were camping there too!

Not only were they really not ah bengs, but 2 of our Year 3 FMS seniors were there too: Dyan and Matthias! We stayed at where we were for a while, but later a group of them came and told us to join them!

We found out later that these people have been camping since Friday night (surprise) and they found out from the security guards that the intended start of the queue would be where they were since they had done so for previous K-Pop concerts here.

Honestly, by the time we settled down we were all feeling damn shitty and cranky already. I was sweating like mad and I was lugging not just my bags but 2 1.5l bottles of water which Sibyl bought to survive the night.



You wouldn't want to be caught dead wearing what I was wearing

Surprisingly, time passed by really quickly there and we also made new friends along the way :) we somehow managed to click and talked a lot together while some people took turns to sleep.

At one point, we saw a car similar to the one Gaga was in when she arrived enter the Singapore Indoor Stadium.

Everyone was suddenly so excited because it was 3AM, and why would a car mysteriously appear and be allowed into the SIS when security is so strict there? (Sibyl, Kim and I got chased out when we tried to enter) Must be Gaga going for a sound check!

The car door opened and just stayed there while a security personnel went over to talk to the person in the car. It literally stayed that way for the next 10 minutes, but eventually the cockblock came when the car simply drove away after that.

Tension was also quite high because there was some drama earlier on before we arrived.

Basically somebody was unhappy that he was not the first in line, and not only did he mock them by pretending "nobody was there", but somebody even stole the tickets of the first guy in line, Kira.

Fucking hell! The poor guy ended up having to last minute buy tickets from someone else, spending extra unnecessary money.

The said unhappy person apparently had a very glum face after realising he bought another set of tickets. We're not trying to name names, but obvious shit is obvious. Just sayin'.

And by then I was actually pissed because another group of people refused to join our queue, and insisted on forming "their own queue" instead. When some people from our group decided to be diplomatic and talk them into joining us, they decided to just laugh at us instead.

In addition to feeling really disgusting at 4AM, being all sticky and oily and shit (by that time things really weren't going as well as I thought), what they did really irked me and I was saying how with all of us being little monsters I didn't expect this kind of behaviour among us fellow fans.

In fact, one of them even attended the shows in Korea and Hong Kong and said that the fans there were very cooperative with one another, unlike over here, with people stealing tickets and shit.

Even when it comes to queuing for concerts, Singapoeans choose to create unnecessary tension by being so competitive. Heck, it's not even being competitive anymore. It's being an asshole.

By then I was too cranky to really give a shit about anything anymore so I decided to take a nap until it was about 6:30AM. That was when we expected more people to come since public transport would start operating by then. Feeling like shit level was over 9000 by that point.

Honestly though the resulting queue at 8am was actually shorter than I thought. Oh, and if you thought the drama ended then, there's more!

The previous group of people who laughed at us and "formed their own queue" ended up being chased by the guards to join our queue which was the actual one. But they made a smart move - they queued IN FRONT of us, on the pavement.

It doesn't even end there! When it was about 7:30AM, NOT EVEN 8AM YET, some people thought they were going to start the wrist tagging in the SIS premises and what ensued was one of the most disgusting sights I've ever seen of Singaporeans.

Picture this - a Hunger Games-esque scene of people climbing over railings, running across the road, climbing over the railings in the middle of the road and sprinting all the way to the entrance.

So much for forming a fucking queue. The people who camped overnight including me literally just stood there, stunned, and you could see the look of disappointment on Kira's face. We then slowly made our way to join the already formed queue at the entrance, and one of them vented out her frustration on the way. We were seriously damn pissed.

Then something that can only be described as good karma happened -- IT WAS A FALSE ALARM AND EVERYONE RUSHED BACK TO WHERE THEY WERE OMG FUCKING FUNNY I WAS LAUGHING WHILE RUNNING! And now some of these greedy people ended up queuing way behind than where they were, so orh bi good.

I mean, even if you cheat your way to the front to meet Gaga backstage, I don't even know how you can live with it tbh. Where's your conscience? No guilt at all one ah? If Gaga saw all this happen I think she'll be very disappointed, and this is after the news of her cancelled Jakarta show!

It's not even about the rule of "no queuing overnight", because it did not state WHERE you cannot queue overnight, did it? Did they say you couldn't queue OUTSIDE of the SIS premises? That's right.
WE DON'T CARE WHAT PEOPLE SAY, WE KNOW THE TRUTH! And the truth is Gaga wants us to queue like mad bitches overnight. (Once again I have proved to be a stellar comedian)

It was then when I swore that I would never do something like this ever again. In fact, I was so turned off by this whole incident that I didn't even want to attend another Lady Gaga concert ever again.

And then the SIS staff crossed the road towards us, and what ensued was a rather heated argument between the group who queued on the pavement and us, the people in the actual queue. Like bitch, I was not here for the drama and kept quiet but we ended up winning anyway and got escorted to get our wrist tags first, booyah!

It was then when I finally felt happy after so many hours of disgustingness...




I'M THE 23RD BITCHES!!!

Since we could leave then we went to McDonald's to have breakfast nearby. We were so tired and angsty we didn't even bother to look for where it is. We just called for a taxi to bring us there.

Afterwards we attempted to wait for the merchandise store to open which was supposed to be open at 12PM, but we ended up going back (more on why later) to French's house at Serangoon since it was nearby to shower, rest, change into our costumes and leave our bags there because we heard there'd be a bag check and time can't be wasted on that!

We all thought the wrist tags would be made of shitty paper and thought we'd have to bathe with one hand up. Turns out it's actually waterproof, LOL!


3) Getting Ready to Ball, Bitches

After getting our shit together at French's house, our mood was slightly better but still feeling pretty shitty.

The general consensus then was that everything was a waste of everyone's time - the camp and all the unnecessary drama involved. How in other concerts, you just arrive half an hour before it starts and find your seat, that's it.

But for this, you have to fight with ticket-stealing bitches, queue overnight to get the best view, and even get a costume! Ok, nobody is pointing a gun at my head to do all this, but still.


Here it is, everyone. Our costume for the Born This Way Ball.




Baby I know.



The bandana idea adapted from this scene in the Judas video




With matching eye make-up done by Sibyl!!



Back of my leather jacket inspired from this scene:




In addition, I decided to change from the plain white tee (after sweating so much I'm not gonna wear it to the concert obviously) to my Monster Ball Tour Dance In The Dark tee which I long forgotten I had (which is a freaking size L). The chain necklace is also borrowed from Clement, along with some other accessories but can't be seen from here.

You can't really see Sibyl's fin, the highlight of her outfit, cuz she's lifting it up! Her shoes were initially $60 from Rubi, but later dropped to $30, then $15.

Even while queuing for merchandise some reporters from the Straits Times came and interviewed + took a video of her outfit!

I was so angry at the reporter because he asked me why I didn't dress up. EXCUSE ME BLOODY CHEEBYE






If you thought our costumes kicked ass, you have not seen our competition:




OH GOD these people just made every single person underdressed for the concert. These were the people we queued overnight with too! I couldn't believe how good they all looked!

Even while walking behind them into the stadium, reporters took pictures of them and when we walked  past them they promptly put down their cameras.

From that point on, I vowed to go in drag every time Lady Gaga comes for a show here. MARK MY WORDS!!!

On that day, The New Paper also had an article which had a picture of my seniors on it, and on the very next day, another schoolmate of mine, Yue Jie, appeared on the front page of Zaobao because of his amazing skeleton makeup! All I can say is... FMS UH UH SIOL.

And despite the 3-hour effort in studding that jacket, a lot of people came with studded leather jackets too, except they were SO GOOD THAT I JUST GOT SLAYED INSTANTLY. I'M NOT JOKING. Too bad I don't have pictures as proof!





With Dyan!



Josiah and Kimberly brought this!



At the holding area to enter the stadium



With Kim Kim















If you were wondering how come my eyeliner ended up looking so shitty, it's because I totally forgot I had eyeliner on. It was so bloody hot and when I wiped away the sweat on my face I saw that my fingers were black and by the time I was like OH SHIT it was too late.

Even then I still didn't learn my lesson and continued smudging it subconsciously.

After they started escorting us group by group we were led inside another holding area where we sat down for I think another half an hour until everybody from Pen A was inside already. Guess who I saw! Chen Hanwei and his (I think) boyfriend!



A board which they did last minute, with lights and all! I also found out there that they were all from NAFA :o

And then they started to bring us in in about groups of 10 each. That was when shit really hit the wall because everybody started to RUN. I WAS NOT READY FOR THAT SHIT.

In fact, I was not here for so much of shit that happened. The stupid drama, having to deal with bitches, looking at everyone fighting over nothing, going through all that grossness overnight, looking like a karang guni walking around the area, sweating like a pig, having my face oily as Madonna's vagina and many others.

But the moment I stepped into the actual stadium interior, and saw that there was plenty of space available for us, I realised that everything was worth it and all our efforts truly paid off.


WE'RE AT THE VERY FIRST ROW BITCHES!!!!



AHHHHHHHHHHHHH










4) Opening Act

The opening act for all Asia stops is German DJ Zedd, who I honestly couldn't give two shits about but prior to his act I heard people already saying that he isn't that good.



Honestly I kind of liked Zedd's act but I guess the crowd just wanted to see Gaga so understandably they looked like they couldn't be bothered. I myself got bored after a while. At least he took the effort to rally up the crowd though, which I think worked to a certain extent!



Meh bored.

After his act which lasted for about 45 minutes they started to play classical music again (they did it before Zedd came too) and we were all bloody excited!! We think the classical music was selected by Gaga herself too.

It was, however, a major cockblock to everyone because after each piece ended people thought the show would start only to be disappointed when another piece plays. Lol!


And then the curtains dropped.



5) The Stage


When we all found out the stage was going to be modelled after a castle, the first thing I thought of was Koda Kumi during her 2008 Kingdom Tour.



Her horrendous costume is not the point


ut if you thought that was good (It looks very shit now in comparison), look at this:






HOLY FUCKING SHITBALLS


And if you thought this wasn't orgasmic enough, the castle is able to fucking "OPEN" from the middle to expand it





HEAD BITCH IN CHARGE. I CAN'T.

And unlike many stage sets, I was so amazed by how intricately planned this entire stage is. There are small compartments within the castle housing each band member. Not just that but the other rooms of the castle were used for some parts of the performances as well. AIYA I DUNNO HOW TO SAY LA IT'S FUCKING COOL


On top for the Judas performance


6) THE FUCKING CONCERT

When the beat for Highway Unicorn started and the dancers started coming out I COULDN'T BELIEVE THIS WAS HAPPENING!!!

The best thing then happened when Gaga started singing, coming out sitting on a FUCKING UNICORN



RUN RUN WITH HER TOP DOWN BABY SHE FLIES

Sibyl and I unfortunately were standing right in front of the speakers so we were pretty much deaf by then already. And I thought MISIA's concert in 2008 was considered loud!




In between some of the acts there was this floating hologram of Mother G.O.A.T (Government Owned Alien Territory) with her alienated face which was very disturbing yet amazing at the same time because it looked damn realistic! (google it yourself)

And then she started singing GOVEERRRMENNNNTTT HOOOKERREEHHH OMFG I COULD JUST FUCKING DIE ON THE SPOT IT'S LIKE MY SECOND FAVOURITE SONG OFF BORN THIS WAY AND I WAS DYING TO HEAR HER SING THAT

After that performance was a very disturbing scene before her performance of Born This Way where she is supposed to look like she's giving birth with a huge assed vagina but the entire thing ended up looking like a chicken which was hilarious.



I also filmed a short 17-second clip of her Born This Way performance just to see how it'll look like on video!





A better picture I found online with aforementioned chicken behind.

Gaga also made eye contact with me during this performance oh god my heart stopped.



During the Black Jesus performance (YES I WAS THIS CLOSE) which made me love the song more than I already did. This is also probably one of my favourite performances of the night because of its amazing choreography.

There was this part of the choreography where someone struts forward while being caressed by the other dancers / Gaga and then they take turns to do it AND IT WAS THE FUCKING HOTTEST THING EVER I JUST WANT TO BE IN AN ORGY WITH ALL OF THEM RIGHT THERE AND THEN hold on while I calm myself down

At one point after Bad Kids she sat down and somebody threw a doll at her. She tried to make it do the Born This Way choreography which was damn cute!

She also talked about how she used to be bullied back in school which involved her being thrown into garbage cans and being called pathetic when she cried, after which she went on to play Hair on the piano.

I've always wanted Gaga to perform the studio version of Hair and really detested the piano versions she'd always play live. But after that night's show, everything changed. WALAO THE PERFORMANCE WAS SO EMOTIONAL I CRIED LIKE SHIT LA OK ;_;

Speaking of crying, which was pretty much what the entire front row was doing (Sibyl was literally crying every other song. It was hilarious), I thought it was annoying how the security guards in front of us had to keep a straight face which made them look so judgemental. And when you're in the middle of crying and you make eye contact with one of them making that judgemental face, shit just gets awkward.

ANYWAY

During Electric Chapel she MADE EYE CONTACT W ME AGAIN AND THREW HER GUITAR PICK AT MY DIRECTION!!! I SWEAR TO HOLY MOTHER OF KRISHNA SHE WANTED ME TO HAVE IT BUT IT LANDED AT THE 3RD ROW!!! ARGGSGSDGFFA

At one point she was facing the audience with her ass out and it was right in my face when she was shaking it from side to side OMG HYPERVENTILATED SO BADLY.

Before the show I also made a comment on someone who brought a disco stick which he made on his own. I said "Disco sticks are soooo 2008!"

I RETRACT THAT STATEMENT because during her performance of Telephone HE MANAGED TO PASS IT TO HER!!! She was like "Oh a new disco stick!" and danced with it for a while before throwing it back to him. OH GOD GAGA YOU CAN TAKE MY VIRGINITY ANY TIME YOU WANT

The last song of the show was Scheisse, my favourite song in the entire Born This Way album. The moment I heard the line "I don't speak German but I can if you like," MY LIFE WAS FUCKING COMPLETE. SATAN TAKE MY SOUUUUULLLL



I LOVE the choreography so much (I swear I'm gonna learn it one day 10 years later) that it's one of my favourites that night as well.

After that she came out for an encore where she sang The Edge of Glory and Marry The Night. During Marry The Night she looked at the whole group w Dyan, Matthias they all and said to them "I'LL SEE YOU TWO BACKSTAGE!!!"

OMG GAGA TALKED TO THEM!!! AND THEY GOT TO SEE HER BACKSTAGE!!! I FELT SO FUCKING HAPPY FOR THEM YOU KNOW!!! And I heard on the second night she chose 6 people randomly to go backstage too! WHEN WILL YOUR FAVE?

Next time she comes back I will not only come in drag but also hold up a sign saying "I WANT TO GO BACKSTAGE GAGA!!"

They got to take pictures with her in the end and even got some of their stuff signed!!! SO JEALOUS


7) Aftermath

At the end of the night, everything was worth it. I'd say it truly was a unique experience because who else would you bother dressing up like mad for, queue for DAYS for and create a few enemies here and there while at it? Diana Krall?

I don't even care about all the remarks towards Gaga regarding how satanic she is. Bitch please, if this is what hell is like, I will be willingly glad to go there. I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE





Everybody was so exhausted and thirsty they quickly ran out to go get something to drink. I think I was so dehydrated at the end that my armpits couldn't produce anymore sweat causing them to sort of glue together. Yup, too much information. I was so smelly, I felt sorry for the taxi driver who drove me back.

And because the music was so damn loud it left my ears ringing really horribly which caused me to be extremely cranky and easily irritated afterwards. It's so fascinating yet scary at the same time. Like, is this how ayumi hamasaki feels every time she performs Trauma?

When you hear people talk, your ears are like cheap speakers from China and the people talking are like music files of 16kbps being played. You literally can hear their voices peaking and sounding really noisy when it really isn't!

The high frequency noise even made them sound higher in pitch. Quite cool come to think of it. But yes, I did some research and it's a sign of permanent damage to your ears so... lesson learnt, everyone. Bring ear plugs!

The ringing continued for the next few days though it got progressively better. In fact as I'm typing this 6 days later I can still hear slight ringing. Sigh.

Apart from the show I also really enjoyed making new friends there. It's like we're all able to click just like that! Okay, maybe not all given the drama happening but come to think of it, it's not like it's unexpected.

Surprisingly I thought it'd be very squeezy in the standing pen and I was all ready for my balls to get squashed by the end but there weren't any difficulties at all! Nobody tried to squeeze in front or anything!

There were a lot of people who claimed that the show wasn't good, and honestly my claim of it being very good isn't that reliable because trust me, when you're in the standing area, you'll be in the mood so much that you will love everything. I WAS LIKE SINGING EVERY SINGLE LINE FROM THE FIRST SONG TO THE LAST! EVEN I WAS IMPRESSED WITH MYSELF!

I guess that's why people who do concert reviews usually get the back seats so that they won't go apeshit and lose their sanity to churn out a proper review. IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!

Honestly though, I feel that in terms of the theatrics and everything she definitely went all the way. ayumi hamasaki and Koda Kumi need to fucking LEARN. I'm talking about 1 minute costume changes, having a castle with different compartments that EXPANDS AND YOU CAN FUCKING STAND ON IT ok sorry

Granted, it'll probably only be appealing in smaller venues like this and not so much in the bigger  arenas, but hey, she did put in a lot of effort to craft out a good show for all of us. I guess you could say this show was mainly crafted for the hardcore fans like us anyway.

This also made me realise that it's been 4 years since I found out about Lady Gaga. I remember watching the video of Just Dance one night in September 2008 shown by Sibyl, going to school the next day asking Noel if he knew who Lady Gaga was. His response was "Huh?"

I even remember how when The Fame was first released, it only reached #20 on the Billboard 200 chart, selling a pathetic 18,000 copies. How when the European version of The Fame was sold in Singapore, it was all over HMV with nobody buying it. I just feel so proud to see that she's come so far to even have 3 sold out shows in Singapore ;_;

If anything, attending this show has made me grow to love Gaga even more, as well as the Born This Way album. I'm so glad she didn't perform The Queen because it's the only song on that album which I can't stand, so yay!

It made me smile when I saw Gaga tweeting about how satisfied she was with the show here. It was a good closure to the Asian leg of the tour, and it's great considering how I think she was already pissed with us from the beginning.

Just thought I'd share a little sidestory of what happened when Gaga arrived in Singapore: she wanted to come out of the car to sign some things for the fans, but the moment she rolled down her window, this irritating girl SHOVED a letter through the gap (RUDE BITCH) and I heard one of them even threw a sketch book which hit her FACE.

I think this was the reason why she didn't even tweet about her arrival here. Gaga isn't Rihanna, guys. *ba dum tss again*


8) Merchandise

Before I went to the show I saw some of the merchandise sold in the other tour stops and they were all so amazing!!! I wanted to buy a lot of the T-Shirts until I found out that each one would cost $50 here. Good grief.

The other stops also sold plasters that looked like meat but not here! The cheapest item was a $10 air freshener. I know right. There were also necklaces, lighters, lunchboxes, (super cute, but I didn't want to buy cuz I know it'll only collect dust) USB drives, towels and stuff.

I got the tour poster T-Shirt, tour program and skeleton socks! Which set me back $95. I was reaaally damn broke already. The amount of money I've spent on this concert is ridiculous.




The T-Shirt



Tour program with her creepy ass face



The skeleton socks which are cute as hell

The tour program to those who are wondering simply contains pictures from the album photoshoot along with lyrics to all 5 singles. There were also some screenshots from her music videos here and there.

I was personally quite pissed at the vendors selling the merchandise because everything was a hot mess. By hot I mean literally damn HOT.

They were supposed to be done by 12PM, but at 12PM they were only just beginning to set it up and when I asked them when they'd be done, he said 2PM. That's why we decided to go back and change first.

When we came back at around 3PM, there was a looong queue forming but nothing was being sold yet because of dunno what. They ended up delaying it to 4PM, and then 5PM. Fucking hell!

There were 2 queues: one for cash payment and one for credit card payment. I was the second person in the credit card payment but they took so long that we gave up and just went to queue for the concert.

Halfway through we got jealous of the people who got their merchandise already so we went out to faster buy anyway HAHA.

Either way I'll probably wait for her official online store to sell the merchandise and I bet the T-Shirts after converting to SGD sure as hell won't cost $50.

Kim and I had a massive Gaga hangover the next day and we even wore the shirts we bought (she bought a tank top with her alien face)! Josiah, Kimberly and I also kept our wrist tags on still.


I pray that for the next time Gaga comes here again, there'd be no more drama, I will go in drag to get her attention, and I shall aim to see her backstage! Just you watch suckas!!! Oh, and I hope she doesn't perform The Queen. EVER.

p/s. on a random sidenote, damn, I think this is the longest post I've ever done in like 2 years.