The Christina Aguilera Programme

Hello everybody I'm so depressed today because I have a CAMP in 8 and a half hours from the time I post this, and I haven't even started packing yet!

Apparently because I am an NP scholar now (try saying "Travis is a scholar" with a straight face. CANNOT RIGHT?) I am automatically enrolled into the supposedly highly prestigious Chirstearaaerarsa programme, but since I can't spell it I will hereby call it The Christina Aguilera Programme.

One of the renewal criterias for my scholarship would be to attend a "Milestone Programme" each year, and the Year 1 scholars' programme is apparently the TCAP's Empowerment Camp. They are very smart, because if you cannot go, fret not! There are like 9 other dates you can choose to attend. Woah woah woah! You can run but you cannot hide!!

Fortunately I heard that the camp is mostly filled with talks. Maybe it'll be very boring but at least I'm not running around like a dirty hobo. I remember for the orientation camp in April this year where I was literally running around the polytechnic barefooted with soap suds running down the front of my shorts to my legs. Totally not sexual at all.

And most importantly I heard the meals are gonna be buffet-style! I'm gonna be so thin by the end of the camp.

At least I know that this camp, unlike other camps, is not going to shut me off from civilisation so I'm kind of looking forward to it... ish. Can you believe I'll be hanging out with people who actually deserve their scholarships?!

But it's quite depressing to know that I can't go back to JWSS for Teachers' Day this Friday because of that. I'm mostly bummed that I won't be able to interrogate Mrs Chong over how she managed to get hold of my class photos from PRIMARY school!

kety perr's new flim pert of me in 3d

As you all know, I have always been a movie buff and I absolutely cannot miss out on the new films that are out each week!

Which is why I was absolutely pumped when Katy Perry's latest pretentious and brainwashing movie, Katy Perry: Part of Me was going to be shown in cinemas here.

I promised Jia Rong I'd go watch with him so it makes absolute sense to say that this is the most heterosexual thing ever. I can already hear Michael Buckley in my head going "No homo! Totally homo!"

Anyway, we predicted that there'd be a lot of teen fangirls watching the movie on the day we were going since it was a weekend and in the afternoon, so after buying our tickets I went to check the seating plan via the GV website to see how packed the cinema will be.



What a great turnout!!!!!!

And we were the last pair to buy the tickets, by the way. The lady tearing the tickets also took a judgemental double take when Jiarong handed her the tickets HAHAHAA

When we went into the cinema it was totally vacant and we were so excited because we could run around the cinema like nobody's business and sit in as many unglam positions as we want to.



Then we heard voices before the movie started and up came a couple in their 20s who I immediately waved at. They waved back too! I made frenzxszxszxsz guys.

Actually I think I kind of scared them because I immediately exclaimed "We're the only ones here!!! There's supposed to be like 6... but now it's just the 4 of us." They incidentally were supposed to sit behind us, and god knows what happened to the other 2 who were supposed to turn up and sit at the corner.

Anyway, let's just say as a ~*media*~ student I've learnt to take things with a pinch of salt and that's what I think we should all do for this film!

It's essentially to make the haters like her, the people who like her to like her even more and everyone to start hating on Russell Brand. Ok actually the first two points are why biopics are made in the first place BUT STILL.

I think it's more of a film to empower people to chase their dreams and shit because it shows the difficulties she went through in becoming the star she is now (who sucks live) but like I said, can't take it totally for real since there may be more happening than what is shown.

Oh well, I guess I kinda enjoyed it in the end. If you're thinking of watching it in 3D, don't bother because the only things in 3D were the subtitles and occasional special effects.

My favourite part of the movie was definitely the Grease snippet that was played during the advertisements shown before the film started.

Looking shittier by the day

I was called back to work for the past 3 days because they needed the staff to cover up for the Muslims who will be celebrating Hari Raya Puasa. On that note, Selamat Hari Raya y'allz!

And today marks the official end of the 3 day battle! I feel so shitty now you cannot imagine. Initially I thought, well, it's been 4 months since I've last worked, so maybe I will have the feeling of a renewed experience and work with loads of enthusiasm and energy!

Then of course I was wrong. It's not like you can not have sex for 4 months and then feel like a virgin again. Within the first hour I already felt like shit!

I am, however, going to contradict my above statements by saying I'm contemplating going back to work there when the semester starts but I'll see how it goes. But we all know how this will turn out because that's how LAZY I am.

As for now, I'm gonna lepak my holiday away because I look like SHIT! And I already look like shit before school started so that's double shit 2 girls 1 cup action going on on my face.

I still have eyebags the size of Nicki Minaj's butt, and it makes me so depressed because like I mentioned previously I've never had them before! I think in order to really compensate for all the lost sleep I'll have to hibernate for 3 weeks. MASS COMM WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME

This has also taken a toll on my hair because I woke up in the middle of the night once, switched on the lights, looked at my bed and ho ly shit







How can an innocent strand of hair end up looking this miserable? Oh, because it belongs to my head. Lol!

Mmmmmmm

I took off my hairband just now... and sniffed it.

My hair smells bloody nice.

Ok sorry that was creepy bye

1 have s3xy lip5

As rumour may or may not have it, there was a stabbing incident at Boon Lay Shopping Centre yesterday!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Since it was quite close to where I live (not really) I started to think what ~*if*~ some idiot decided to stab me, that fucking bastard.

The first thing I would definitely do is yell a really loud "FUCKING CHEEBYE STABBED ME! SIAN JI PUA!" while pointing towards the direction the culprit is running. Cowaarrrrd!

I will proceed to open my bag and take out my penknife (I don't have any) and throw it with precision at the person's back, causing him to collapse to the floor. But obviously a penknife is too puny to really have an impact so he will start going on a rampage, get up and run towards me.

Since I'm already fatally wounded I can't really run so I will try my best anyway, while digging up 3 more random knives from my bag and once again throwing them and piercing through his abdomen. I would go for the crotch but that would just be really sad.

When all the weapons have penetrated him and he dies then everyone would start to applaud!!! I will then ask them to hurry up and call the ambulance because I'd still be bleeding profusely from my stupid wound.

Meanwhile, I will have a camwhore session documenting this once in a lifetime moment.

Of course this is all played out in my head. In reality I'll just lie on the floor flopping about like a goldfish, waiting for death to come, while nobody in the vicinity bothers to do anything.

Semester 1.1

Semester 1.1 is finally OVER! I am so glad we won't have anymore exams for the rest of the academic year because apparently, after mugging like shit for my O Levels, I have been so traumatised from that experience that I can no longer mug like I used to, and my mugger-ness now is already considered off the roof.

Anyhoo, in very simple terms, I YOLO'd my Media In Society examination. I completely did an entire question on Newspaper classification wrongly, and that means bidding 10 marks goodbye!

I blame the phrasing of the question! In the notes there were 7 classification methods (I even made an acronym "For MAM'S Party Time" but never used it) but the question told us to list THE 5 different methods, so I thought it was a whole other thing! Oh, and I also mixed up Economic Regulation and Economic Liberalisation so that's another 4 marks gone.

It's okay because the exams are over so I can't really be bothered anymore. YOLO. Enough rambling about MedSoc! I thought that since this is somewhat like a ~*celebratory*~ post, I should share some of the latest happenings within the past few weeks since I didn't really update on anything. Hehe.




This is a picture of a bare-faced Shiori and a billionare-faced me AHHHHAHAHAA ok that was a really lame attempt at rhyming. They also say that I look like a Steven Lim here which makes me so flattered.

Anyway this is us at a wet market at Chinese Garden at 3 FREAKING AM because our final Digital Photography assignment was to compose a photo essay of what takes place in a WET MARKET, from when the stocks come in to when customers start buying them.

Wa sibei tiring, but you can see our final YOLO-ised work at our photoblogs, but who cares about Shiori's when you can go to mine here hahahahaha. Thank goodness I'm done with this module AND the darn photo blog, because WordPress is a pain in the ass to work with.

By the way the picture is not badly photoshopped. It's Shiori's favourite ~*Beauty Mode*~ on her digital camera.




Our WebGra final assignment was to come up with a completely functional website with at least 5 webpages for restaurant and we chose fine dining!

Initially we wanted to do on French fine dining but some other group was doing it so we're like screw it let's do JAPUNEH! (Btw the logo in the CD cover on top... I do one leh HEHEHEHEHEHE)

For the final presentation of our completed website we were actually still working on the website itself from the night before all the way till the next morning because DreamWeaver is an annoying biiitttccchh.

My work was mainly on Photoshop and consolidating the webpages so while waiting for my other groupmates to finish I decided to take a short nap. A short nap indeed! I slept at 2:50AM intending to wake up at 3:00AM, but who was I kidding?

I eventually got woken up by Meifang's phone call at 7AM, to which I picked up the phone and immediately went "OH MY GOD IT'S FUCKING SEVEN?" and she calmly said, "Yea." and I completely FREAKED OUT and continued screaming "OH MY GOD I HAVEN'T EVEN BATHE YET!!!" then she said "At least you got enough sleep!!!"

The fact that she can still remain so positive at this time of crisis is actually quite funny in retrospect HAHAHA but IT WAS NOT FUNNY AT THAT MOMENT.

I immediately activated my ninja mode and actually managed to get ready in 20 minutes when I usually take 1.5 hours. I know right?! Then I dashed out to get a cab to school and I had to do the work while on the cab. Panicked like shit!!!

Thankfully the presentation went well or else I'll be so guilty for my entire 3 years in poly.




We finally submitted our LocVid final project the day of the final quiz as well! Everyone in the group is like so proud of our work I lav lav lav lav them even though I freaking HATE this module... with a passion.

I have a new-found respect for the people who work behind the camera. So much more work to do, so little appreciation! Not the career for me HAHAHA. We were the first group to submit too, but I wonder why MUST BE BECAUSE OF THEIR EFFICIENT PRODUCER DUNNO WHO LA HOR. Hahahhahahahaha

Speaking of efficiency, I remember on our second day of filming I accidentally told Charmaine who was acting for us to meet us at Punggol Park because I thought that was where Punggol Beach was at! WRONG turns out it's at Punggol Point Park.

As it turns out, Punggol Park is at one end of Punggol Road and our actual location, Punggol Point Park / Punggol Beach is at THE OTHER END. Fortunately, the road isn't really that long, but who would have thought one word would make such a huge difference...

Anyway I totally have the biggest eyes compared to everyone in the group picture above.





On our final Idea Jumpstart lesson it was the very infamous Idea Jumpstart Challenge which is said to be the one that pulls down your GPA!!! Or at least that's what I think I heard.

I was in the same group as Julaina, Preeti and Shafiq and we had to come up with the root cause to why tertiary students dress sloppily (they haven't been to FMS yet) and come up with a solution for it, so we decided to come up with a monthly magazine! Not bad ah?

But in all honesty we couldn't give two shits about it and ended up booking the Kinect at Studio 27 in the middle of the challenge and play HAHA.

Damn happy to be in this group cuz everyone knows their shit y'allz! And our group's theme song is S&M because.

Btw Preeti sucks at darts




Charmaine, Shiori and I are the only ones left who intend to continue taking Japanese lessons from the next semester onwards thanks to some people like Nicolene, Angus and Vanessa who decided to DROP OUT!

I got full marks for my reading test too!! I was the only one in class to do so though... I mean... I don't mean to show off... AHEM AHEM AHEM AHEM AHEM




The Scholarship Ceremony which made me skip half of my MedSoc revision lecture was, sorry but not sorry to say, a waste of everyone's time.

Essentially, it's a 2.5-hour event where you are only needed for 10 seconds. Each and every one of the 400 over recipients literally go on stage one by one to receive the certificate from the person on stage. I know!! At least I made friends with somebody from Optometry who was sitting beside me though hehe.

But hey, I shook hands with the principal y'all. Do you even know who our principal is?! Do you even know we have a principal?!?!?!?!!

But yea I actually shouldn't be complaining because they're after all giving me so much money... or so I think. I don't actually know what my scholarship even covers but it doesn't matter since I think they will revoke it soon enough. I mean... I have pubic hair on my head after all.




First of all, if any juniors or future FMS students see this picture, don't say we didn't warn you, but your eyebags will be as big as bull testicles like the picture above. Good god. And this is coming from a person who has never had eyebags his entire life! Sigh what has poly life done to me

Anyway, progress in piano club so far is pretty good. When I tell people I'm in piano club they're like "Oh what grade are you?!" and I'm like "Grade 0". That pretty much shut everyone up to be honest.

They taught us theory for 3 months but I still don't remember anything and practical lessons are going absolutely great! My mentor is also a Year 1 who doesn't have teaching experience and she doen't know what to do with me because I'm apparently one of the worse students who can't even get his fingering (oooOOOoOOOo) right.

But you know what's so frustrating? I find it very difficult to match the notes on the sheet to the note itself on the piano! The poor hand-eye coordination doesn't help either. Here's my thought process to finding out a note:
1. Look at sheet
2. Spend 5 seconds to figure out what note it is
3. Look down at the keyboard, find the C key
4. Count from there to desired note
5. Repeat
HAHAHAHA I AM THAT BAD!!! It's so embarrassing sometimes, but JUST YOU WATCH! I will be the next Beethoven, except I'm not deaf / mute. (Can't think of anymore famous pianists)




On Tuesday after the MedSoc exam we celebrated Augustine's birthday! At like somewhere in Sengkang, Riverside or something like that. WA THE VIEW DAMN NICE! It's like Instagram moment except I have no Instagram!

They blindfolded Augustine on the way to the place asking him to do stupid shit like shout "I'm 18!" HAHAHA then when he finally reached they took out his blindfold and surprise!!! I swear he was so close to tearing lor. I COULD SEE IT! Hahahhah Happy Birthday Augustine! Yea like he will see this right


Oh, and speaking of Augustine...




Here is a picture of Augustine. Now look at the person beside him. Yep. That's me. In a very unglamorous moment eating a chicken wing. Which Nicolene instagrammed. Which everyone saw. Which everyone who saw it and came after that saw me and asked if I enjoyed it. FML. asjknfkjsfckjs

But yes, I enjoyed it very much




I love Makan Place for many reasons, and this is one of them. The auntie gave me a huuuuge Ice Kacang, and I didn't even ask! I think she has a crush on me. (pun not intended)

Just kidding, it's because I showed her my cock.

Just kidding again! It's because I showed her my vagina.

Check out da modified layout y'allz

Today is the end of the first Semester and to celebrate, here's a new shit layout! For some reason I keep trying to improve on it but I'm not really doing anything.

Anyway, everything pretty much still looks the same except for a few changes here and there. Nothing that's really relevant, except for the fact that I've removed my Tagboard and Links section. Why?

Tagboards are so not ~*da trend*~ anymore (who would have thought? ur hur hur) plus it's getting shitloads of spam like, "Oh I love your blog hope you will visit mine too," those lying cunts.

Also, I'm getting super sick of constantly adding and/or updating links because of people changing addresses, shutting down their blogs etc. etc. so I decided to just remove it altogether. Looks like links aren't ~*da trend*~ anymore too. Oh wait, blogging isn't even ~*da trend*~ now so I should just stop lol jk

I also moved my widgets to an entirely separate post not only because I still find it obnoxiously pretentious, but also because the idea in itself is so stupid and not ~*da trend*~ anymore (still lavvit though), it should quietly hide in one corner. I'm like Madonna who's always trying to stay relevant but not really.

Oh yes!! I also added new h!p and kewl social network buttons to share my posts on Twitter / Facebook! Still pretentious, but that's what all the k00l kidz on da bl0ck are doing isn't it.

It's not like anyone is going to use it, but I realised that if you want to share an individual post you'll have to go to its individual page (by clicking on its title or the Permalink link at the bottom of the post) and share it from there to do so. If you just click while on the main blog page you'll just be sharing the whole blog by itself. Just sayinnnnn

Also, for the first time in a really long time I'm quite content with this layout because I have finally come to terms with my ineptitude in working with classic Blogger templates and my generally lame HTML knowledge, so I might keep this one like, forever.

Unless someone bothers to design a new banner for me because I have semi-retired from experimenting with Photoshop LOL.


All in all, I hope you loike the new layout and if you don't, well, YOLO man. Cheers!

Amazingly Useless Widgets for YOU!

Nothing can be more pretentious, useless, irrelevant, passé and stupid than having little images that link people to your blog. Those are so 2008!

And that is exactly why I have them.

Although I doubt anybody would bother linking these, I'm just putting this out there in case there are people who want to use it. And to those who do, you may have my firstborn. Or subsequent children, if it's already taken.








(the one on the right is the white variation)





While we're still here I'd like to take the time to credit my Kai Xuan for inspiring me back then to do this in the first place, because she did one for her own blog which is now like gone.

Selamat Berpuasa

Although I am late as hell, selamat berpuasa to all my Muslim frenzzz! Anyway, the point of this post is that on the first day of the fasting month, 21st July, it was some idiot person's birthday. Here's a hint: he's in Jurong Junior College even though he should be in ITE College West. Hi Edrie!

Anyway because he was going to celebrate with his ~*famiree*~ and even break fast with them Sophia and I decided to meet him at like 8.30PM at our usual meeting place.



With the Thai queen preparing our presentation of gifts


What we ended up with:



Upon opening...



BAM!

Not bad ah? We told Edrie they were from Delifrance and he said he was going to find out the price one day. Then Sophia was like "MIGHT AS WELL TELL YOU NOW?" in her classic bitch queen mode then he was like "OK NVM NVM" HAHAHA


We also took some polaroidzz



The polaroid with Edrie and Sophia is so nicely framed right? You wanna know why? Cuz it was taken by ME. You see the bottom right one with so much empty space on top. Taken by who? SOPHIA. TSK. And they claim it's because of them that their picture is so nice. Fuck you all maaan.



Some random post-it messages Sophia and I wrote and pinned onto a cork-board as one of his gifts, although he'd probably prefer a cockboard instead *ba dum tss* thank you thank you


That's pretty much it though. On 10th August we're going to Geylang to get DENG DENG again. I'm so excited!! I'm going to buy like 10kg worth this time.

Meanwhile here is a very unglam picture of Sophia to show everyone that people of royal descent aren't  always perfect, especially self-proclaimed ones. Dunno who la, hor?



If Sophia sees this, hi!

The Diet of a Health Guru

You may or may not know this, but I place great importance in taking care of my body. That, of course, includes the food that I make myself eat throughout the day. I take meticulous time and effort to pick and choose foods that will definitely be healthy and provide absolutely nothing but benefits to my body.

As a health guru and wannabe-dietician, I would like to disclose to everybody what exactly I have eaten throughout the entire day of 10th August 2012 in chronological order.
1. A hot cup of Milo
2. Egg & Ham sandwich from Four Seasons
3. Starbucks Grande Mocha Frappucino
4. Hot & Spicy Hot Dog from OurSpace
5. $3 steamed chicken noodles from Makan Place
6. A cup of Soya Bean
7. 2 slices of watermelon
8. Iced Tea from Munch
9. BBQ Turkey Hot Dog from OurSpace
10. Beef Noodles
11. Dengdeng
12. Air Katira (also known as something-fattening-as-fuck)
13. Takoyaki
14. More dengdeng
15. Cheese Hot Dog
Definitely healthy, definitely low-cal, and definitely a diet everyone should adhere to!

p/s. I be fat as ffuucckkkkkkkkkk

MCM must take exam one ah

Hi I am blogging at this ungodly hour because I am being a freaking MUGGER. Which is ironic because I wouldn't be doing this shit in the first place.

But aaaaanyway, I am happily doing revision for my 20% test for my Location Production module. Happy because for the past 1 hour I spent 40 minutes eating and 20 minutes actually studying.

This is also like the final assessment before I am done and over with this shit! So excited. Today's also submission day for our final project film, which I am not really allowed to show since the copyright goes to NP.

Oh wellz, but our production is more or less an adaptation of Roald Dahl's Lamb to the Slaughter with many tweaks here and there. Ended up being very sick and twisted, but that's why we lavvit.

Anyway for our test I'm not really that paranoid about it... AS YOU CAN SEE contrary to many of my other coursemates who were already revising since 1 week ago! Woah woah woah! I have to answer shit like ~*how do you define white balance*~ or ~*how do you do 3 point lighting*~ or ~*why are you in this course Travis*~ so it's all very dry and stuff.

My module leader is damn cute because he sent out an e-mail to us recently reminding us of the exam venue and all and at the end he said "If YOU ARE LATE, please DO NOT BANG on the floor." I DIED!

In other news, I can't wait for the semester break to start. Which is on the 14th August after my Media in Society exam. Then I'll have a lot of time to blog! Yay! Plus I'm going to make some changes to the blog soon (minor, unrelated-to-you ones though so you don't really need to look forward to anything) so I'm eggcited.

CAUTION: ULTIMATE SPOILERS OF SPOILERS FOR THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

OMG I just came back from watching The Dark Knight Rises. Prior to this I didn't even watch the first two movies so I went to Wikipedia 30 minutes before the movie to read up on the plot. BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT. THE POINT IS...



IT WAS FUCKING AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


LIKE YOU JUST WATCH THE ENTIRE DURATION OF THE MOVIE IN ~*AWE*~ LIKE YOUR MOUTH WILL BE OPEN AND SHIT AND YOUR EYES WILL BE OPEN DAMN WIDE LIKE WOAAAAAHHHHHHHH

EVEN DURING THE INTENSE PART ME, SOPHIA AND EDRIE WERE LIKE HOLDING OUR HANDS AND TREMBLING IN EXCITEMENT.

Like during the part where he jumps in the well to reach for the thing when he finally did it we were like YES!!!!!!!!!

By the way I think they were like chanting "IT IS PASTA" which supposedly meant "rise" so PASTA MAKES YOU RISE

AND THE TWISTS ARE LIKE OH MY GOD THE PART WHERE THE MASKED GUY ACTUALLY ISN'T THE CHILD OF THE DUNNOWHO? IT'S LIKE

"I didn't escape..."

"I did. *STAB!*"

WA ALL 3 OF US LITERALLY RAISED BOTH OUR HANDS ABOVE OUR HEADS LIKE WOAH WE DID NOT EXPECT THAT SHIT!!!!!!!

And the ending when they showed that Bruce Wayne died? MAN I WAS FUCKING PISSED. I WAS ALL PREPARED TO TWEET ABOUT HOW PISSED I WAS until I saw Alfred in that familiar restaurant scene again and I was like OMG YEA HE'S GONNA SEE HIM WITH A WIFE AND MAYBE A KID OR TWO!

I WAS RIGHT! Except the kid part, BUT I WAS RIGHT!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ALTHOUGH THE TICKETS ARE BLOODY EXPENSIVE AT $11.50 IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT!!!!!!

WA THE MOVIE WAS EXCITING AS FUCK! EVEN AT THE END OF THE MOVIE I WAS LIKE :O AND ANNE HATHAWAY TOTALLY SUITED THE ROLE OF CATWOMAN!

and when they were like oh we only have 12 hours left before the bomb detonates I was all like YOLO MAN YOLO

Btw Edrie is damn lame. Here is what he said to be verbatim in the middle of the movie when he was in the well.

"You know he drop into the well then got bat bat bat become batman right, so next time when you fall into a well then got rain become RAINMAN EHEHEHEHEH" SOMEBODY SLAP THIS BITCH

So yes these are my thoughts about Batman and I LAVVIT! I'm not even going to bother reviewing or editing because I have to LET MY TRUE THOUGHTS EXPRESS THEMSELVES FREELY!!!

"Why go to Ipoh when you can go to Gek Poh"

So like many weekends ago on the last weekend of June I went to Ipoh for a little exciting holiday! Well, I wouldn't say it was really exciting but I went to Ipoh for a little holiday!

I went along with Eva and her fam and the purpose for this trip is for a reaaally special occasion. For the first time in over a decade, her whole family is finally coming back for a gathering because they are like, international. There's one that lives in China, then some here in Singapore, one in the USA and the rest in Malaysia. They're everywhere! Eva's mum and her 5 siblings are able to get together again for that weekend.



Me looking like a bootleg K-Pop star, only from neck up



With Eva and uncle Felix




It was the first time for me actually being in the budget terminal because I am high crass like that *ahem* and let's just say... it certainly lives up to its name!

We were flying by this budget airline called Firefly which I frankly didn't even know until we checked in our baggage, despite having been sent the booking email a looong time ago, lmao.



They don't even use the engine thingy they use good ol' propellers! Damn scary, but apparently they're considered safer and that the plane can still fly with only one propeller working. Sure.

When we landed in Ipoh and after waiting for 10 years at the immigration counter (the person saw my passport photo and couldn't believe how different I looked) we met up with auntie Emily who was our host for the weekend! You'd probably remember her in my Japan 2009 posts where she came with us.

She brought us to eat lunch first before bringing us to Popo's house to meet the rest of the family. So exciting!

On the way to the place I took a good look around Ipoh and let's just say... I already knew this kampong-ish lifestyle wouldn't be suitable for me. It's okay, cultural experience... cultural experience...

You know what's suitable for me though? THE AMAZING FOOD I ATE. (Surprise) I don't know what they do, but their watermelon juice is sweeter, their fried food is crispier , their laksa is off the roof and they have the softest roasted pork I have ever tasted. I kid you not.



I totally get what they mean by "melts in your mouth" now.



Kickass bee hoon

I can't say the food hygiene standards are good but through the years I have come to realise that the lower the hygiene standard, the better the food. As long as you don't laosai after that.

After stuffing ourselves with glorious Malaysian food we made our way to Popo's house! Pretty much everybody was already there except auntie Emily's family. I already know 5 of the siblings but I never knew who the 6th one was but now I finally have!

After resting for a bit we went to some shopping mall to do some shopping, although I ended up not really buying much. I thought there'd be better shopping than this to be honest, but auntie Emily's husband said it's just a small town after all so can't expect much.

I did however manage to take this



I showed this to Sabrina and she said Jakim will come after me. Ohhhh shit.

After walking around for a few hours we finally made our way back to auntie Emily's house where we'll be sleeping and their place is awesomeeeeeee with 2 stories and all.

Here's a very embarrassing story. When I went back I needed to take a shit and so I did. After I was done shitting, I looked to the right and the worst thing happened -- there was no toilet paper.

That was when I realised that they don't use toilet paper! I shouted to Eva outside "Oh my god Eva. Guess what? There's no toilet paper." so no choice have to wash lor.

But just before I had to succumb to using a method of cleaning my ass which I haven't used for many years, Shu Wei came to the rescue by putting a roll of toilet paper outside the door!! Auntie Emily specially bought them just for our stay! You know what else I also found out? That Eva went to tell everyone else about my predicament in the toilet omg.



Their neighbour's dog, Brownie! Or Browny, whatever it is. Eva's mum was loudly exclaiming when the neighbours were right next door about how unoriginal the name was, but they probably don't understand English so it's okay.



Gloriously photobombed by Mandy in the background

That night we had a really sumptuous dinner comprising MORE soft and tender roasted pork, chicken, rice, satay, curry chicken, and some other stuff. There was also lap cheong, the dried chinese sausages and just like the roasted pork they were EXTREMELY SOFT. I had a surprise mouthgasm like HOW DO THEY DO IT?



Jia Qi being a siao gin na as always





We da young pplz

We were being typical country bumpkins cuz they had a huuuuge HD TV and we were watching Spiderman in awe. Ironically we all can't stand the country lifestyle with shitloads of mosquitoes everywhere. We had a mosquito killing spree back in Shu Wei's room but those buggers never stop coming.



Incriminating evidence of Pui Yee's pedophiliac antics!



A very grumpy-looking karang guni with his beep beep horn. Oh wait, that's me.

I taught Brandon how to say the "KAAAARAANNG GUUUUNIII LAAADIO DIAN SI KI" (cuz he's from the US) and asked him to go downstairs and say it to the adults!!! Our plan failed in the end though cuz he still didn't know how to say it.



A picture that would work well for a campaign asking parents to have more kids

I shall now unleash upon everyone our Photobooth adventures:













Also here's a video that was suggested by none other than uncle Felix who is already over 40 years old:



DISCLAIMER: Not I tell them say one ah is uncle Felix ah HAHAHAHA


The next day was the day of the highly anticipated dinner but before that we all went shopping again! Once again, we didn't really manage to buy anything interesting but we did, however, take some interesting pictures that may probably get me arrested by Jakim again












On the car back home





Making Eva's mum look very the professional like the make-up the artist



Brandon, who I taught to do this creepy ghost face. He has done me proud! Marcus sitting very happily at the back



Eva in her very ooOOooOOoo dress



Brandon blocking her from being in the limelight





In le car to the hotel where the dinner is at!




Famiree f0t0!



Bird bird


In between courses during the dinner each family prepared a little video presentation just to reminisce about the old times... it was very interesting looking at everybody's photos when they were young HAHAHAHA

Then when it was time for Eva's family, which I am pretty much a part of, Eva of course decided to dedicate an entire section just filled w pictures of ME in it because they were my unglam Facebook photos and it was so embarrassing that I was screaming with every new picture of me that appeared HAHAHAHA.

Omg but I have to admit that it was very le touchingue ;_;

Then after the video presentations it was time for each family to come up with a performance to represent the family. Of course I decided to be a cockblock and not perform hahaha!!! I wasn't prepared for it!

I later thought that maybe I'd do a closing speech or something but they karaoke-d for so long that there wasn't time for any so oh well!!!


Mandy and Eva singingue


Shu Wei playing le flutez



And of course, one of the main highlights which was Pui Yee and her husband James re-enacting the Titanic scene



There was also a very touching moment when Popo and Gong Gong went to sit at the front and Popo cried cuz she was so touched by everything ;_; she was crying while talking and nobody could understand what she was saying but everyone cried along anyway



The siblings singing song together except Mandy's dad who was in the toilet



In the car back home!!!!

We then spent the rest of the night sharing ghost stories which were very exciting and we finally slept at like 2AM.



As a whole I thought this event was very fun and certainly bonded the family together ;_; even an outsider like me feels like a part of the family. Likewise, I also treat them as my second family, even more closer than my own, to be honest! I pretty much know everyone in the family by now.

The next gathering is ~*tentatively*~ 2 years from now in *china accent* BEIJING, CHINA! where Marcus & Mandy's family is at! Excitingue! Anyway it's been a month since the event but Pui Yee is STILL going on about how I didn't prepare a performance. K LA K LA NEXT TIME I PERFORM 2 PIECES OK!!!