Shitty Adventures



Serving you CoverGirl realness

I really feel damn shit because last week was a hellish week where we had to submit our News Writing Field Assignment 1, Media Research Methods Questionnaire, and some other shit I can't remember.

I've already started on my website design for DMD when it's due at the end of the month because clearly I have my priorities set straight (with MRM common test in 2 days).

But despite all the complaints from my peers I honestly think this semester is very fun leh. I actually LOVE DMD (I'm not a nerd), I LOVE News Writing (I'm not a nerd), I kinda-like Advertising, I kinda-like TV Production, MRM is just a bitch of a module, and I love annoying everyone by singing like Lana Del Rey, my newly-discovered talent (I'm a nerd). But overall it's been pretty fun!


For the past week I've had some really weird experiences, namely during my shitting time in school. Fortunately my shit cycle has been adjusted to only happen during school time so that means I can save water at home.

Shit Story 1: 

Once, I needed to shit so I went to the level 2 toilet of Music Box. I thought there was nobody there, so I started masturbating aggressively so like ok lor then I went into one of the cubicles.

That was when I realised that the cubicle beside me was actually occupied! Because I noticed a moving shadow on the floor. I thought it might be a ghost so I looked down a bit and saw a pair of shoes lol.

The weirdest thing, though, is how there was absolutely no sound coming from the cubicle. Throughout the entire 5 minutes when I was taking a shit.

No sound of pee, no sound of shitting, and not even the sound of the toilet paper. For 5 minutes. What the fuck right? The person was sitting there listening to my shit plopping into the water for 5 minutes.

I honestly think he was masturbating before I came in, and was waiting for me to finish so he could finish up. I should've lingered on longer to see how long he'd gonna stay there, but meh.


Shit Story 2:

2 days later on Thursday I went to shit at Block 56, level 4, and when I entered the toilet, you have to turn to the right to get to the only cubicle there. So the moment I turned, I saw someone just getting in (presumably in a haste) and when I noticed that, I could only see his outstretched arm, closing the door, which is fully exposed (benefit of doubt: maybe he's wearing singlet, but wait!).

He closed it like really quickly, and he, too, was probably masturbating furiously naked in front of the toilet mirrors until I came in to take a shit. Since he was doing that he was probably filming himself too. Gross.

I know because on the journey to the toilet walking there I didn't notice anyone entering the toilet!

And that pissed me off so bad because I had to climb down to level 3 in order to get a cubicle to shit in. URGH.

MASTURBATE AT HOME BEFORE YOU COME TO SCHOOL! 
PEOPLE NEED TO SHIT!

While I'm on the topic of shitting in school, for the love of god, Ngee Ann male students, please

1. Lift the toilet seat if you're going to pee

2. Aim and pee properly, dammit

Because nothing sucks more than wanting to shit so bad, only to enter the cubicle to see that the toilet seat has been stained by your nasty-ass yellow pee. First of all, drink more water. Secondly, I also know very hard to aim sometimes la, WHICH IS ALSO WHY

3. THE TOILET PAPER IS CONVENIENTLY THERE - CLEAN UP THE DAMN SEAT!

I certainly hope you all don't leave your toilet seats at home pee-stained like that! And yes, even if the pee still drips onto the toilet bowl with the seat up, you still have to clean your own damn pee. Don't be gross. Please.

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