I feel like death and I can't believe time is moving so damn fast and I'm getting so damn tired every single day!!!! I had a throat infection since Red Camp in late November and immediately after I started recovering from that, I am now having random bouts of fever for no particular reason. I'm starting to believe I have a terminal disease of some sort.

I think it's partly because my body is dreading the fact that I am turning 19 IN ONE MONTH'S TIME!!!! I've said this like a thousand times before because I am genuinely upset by how I'm turning so old. I got judged quite a lot because I always said this in front of friends who are 1 or 2 years older than me but now NOBODY CAN JUDGE ME FOR SAYING THIS WAHAHAHA

Maybe because I know I'm going to somehow die before I reach like, 40 years old, so mathematically speaking I am currently going through my mid-life crisis. I'm not even 20 years old and I already look like I have one foot in the grave.

Plus I've been reading a lot of stuff that have been getting me really down lately?? I don't know what's happening to me (I'm just gonna blame everything on midlife crisis) but I feel damn lost in life?!?! I've come to realise I'm actually a pretty shitty feature writer (and as of now I still do not have an approved story idea so I'm like 95% fucked), and I'd much rather focus on pubic relations than public relations because as I had expected, I am actually not a huge fan of PR.

I'm the sort of person who will fire back at people if they lodge a complaint towards my company leh. I've heard of instances where a minor mistake made by the company would result in some bitchy customer demanding crazy compensations like $100 gift vouchers and that kinda shit. Wtf dude?? If I were the PR manager I would just kick the person in the balls and ask him/her to have a stadiumful of seats to be honest. I would also lose my job within one week.

aaaaand I'm probably gonna end up sweeping the floors after I graduate which I am completely ready for anyways. I've literally reached a point in my life where anything goes because I've just lost all hope HAHAHAHA. It's not necessarily a bad thing since I feel more relaxed.... for now. Leave tomorrow's worries to tomorrow. And hope to die soon enough so I won't have to go through anymore shit. Sounds like a plan!!!

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