The Birds and the Feet

I have a bittersweet feeling towards growing old. Sweet because based on the past 5 years, I find myself looking more attractive with each coming year. Bitter because that's precisely why I fear for the day everything starts to go downhill (and frankly, it's coming). I'm ~only~ (as some people would tell me... annoying) turning 20 in three months and I'm already contemplating 20 botoxes, a nose job and 5 facelifts.

Because what I fear the most is ageing. Okay, that's too general. I'm cool with it. What I fear the most are crow's feet.

I CANNOT keep my eyes off looking at people's crow's feet. I'll admit it. It's this weird thing I have going on.

If there is one feature about growing old that I'm most afraid of, it's not the wrinkles anywhere else, maybe it's the receding hairline, but fo' sho', it's the wrinkles at the edge of my eyes. I don't know why. When I talk to old people, I can't help noticing their crow's feet. When I see peers my age having crow's feet, I start to Google for dermatologists. Fortunately, the one and ONLY good thing the Chan family genes have given me, other than my nice legs, are the fact that I don't seem to be getting crow's feet anytime soon.

All the cute boys have tight-skinned faces. I unfortunately don't have that genetic luxury; not only do I blame my ancestry which includes Jackie Chan, but I also blame my sordid childhood when I would order a 4 piece meal via KFC delivery because I had to meet a minimum order.

Also cannot understand why people around my age sometimes take photos raising their brows so high up, forcing forehead wrinkles to say hello. Is 20 years too long a wait?

"Look at him, he's so handsome. His crow's feet make me so moist" - No one EVER?
Okay, but the thing is this: I don't actually hate crow's feet. I just don't want it. And when I see that other people have it, it's like when my friends don't finish their food during our meals together – I don't mind (them not giving me to eat) it, but I can't stop staring at it.

I don't even know when or how this fear came about. It just happened. I remember many years back when there was this Channel 8 drama starring Zoe Tay and Fann Wong and I happened to read some reviews on those nasty forums online. Wa biang, everybody was SO QUICK to attack Zoe Tay saying how she's a has-been and looks so old that her crow's feet are super defined on screen. These people are like vultures attacking a dead carcass!

And then there is a certain national swimmer who recently made headlines and looks disturbingly like a cross between Aaron Allwood and Matthew Chaisit Tan. I'm not going to name names, but this picture should be obvious enough:

Still not naming names!

When I first saw him, all I could think of was... HOW OLD IS THIS GUY? Then I found out he is a full five months younger than me. Holy shitballs. How could this be? His (albeit newly-developed, I'll cut him some slack) crow's feet are so deep, a tadpole could practically live in there and you'd never find out!

That only means one thing – chlorinated water is fucked up. Thank god I never learnt swimming; when I was young, my uncle would try to teach me how to learn swimming but I never did because I had this weird phobia of deep waters (enough of the how-do-you-shower jokes). The funny thing is I don't have this fear anymore. God knew I would hate the ageing effects and gave me this blessing in disguise. Maybe that's why I don't fear it anymore cuz I have since grown too fat and lazy to swim.

There's also this saying that people who usually develop crow's feet at an early age means they are very positive people since they smile / laugh a lot. Therefore, I'm fucked. Yet, if I don't smile, people say I have a bitch face. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

But you know who are the people who don't seem to get it until they're 80 years old? The Japanese. I have the same response as when their doctors step in: "I don't get it!" That's why I love them so much.

Whoever their doctors are, I want each and every one of their numbers. Now. Okay, I'll wait 5 years max.

Okay, maybe not this lady over here. Not even my full-of-flaws fave ayumi hamasaki could resist crow's feet in this show where she meets her teenage idol. Poor girl (she's not a girl anymore, she has crow's feet) woman... if she had piled on a bit more concealer maybe she would've stood a chance with him lol

OKAY maybe I should stop complaining... I've been very angsty and PMS-y these days, I don't know what's gotten to me. I think I need help. ;( ;( ;(

But I think I'm getting back into the habit of blogging, which I think is great. I'm one step closer to getting my shit together. It's been stagnant for too long so it has come to a point where I REALLY think nobody reads it anymore LOOOOOL.

But it's okay, life is blissful for me. Right now I'm really just sailing through for the rest of the year, which may or may not be a good thing. Every day I reach home and I'm just so tired from work, and I guess maybe that's why I'm blogging so much again. It's like a coping mechanism of some sorts, and I feel like I'm much more free based on the fact that when you leave the office, you leave all your work there too, so that's one perk I've never gotten to enjoy in a looooong time.

Also getting back to reading books again, am continuing learning Japanese at my own free time and all is good at the moment. No ragrets, just enjoy typing shit here because it's fun. Generally very blessed with what's happened for the past few months, and the many more months to come. Can't wait to graduate!!!!!

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