Ban Mian 4 President

For the past few months, I've suffered from the lack of having above-average tasting ban mian.

That was because the ban mian stall at the coffee shop beside Pioneer MRT decided to convert itself into a subpar satay beehoon stall. Boo you whores! I was a regular!

When the ban mian stall was still around, I remember that the noodles were always cooked al dente. I would deliberately tell the auntie / uncle not to cook them too much because like my ____, I liked my noodles hard (Fill in the blanks yourself! Go nuts!). And they got it right each and every time!

The only other place I've had my ban mian noodles cooked this hard (read: delicious) was at NP's Makan Place, and well, it's a bit loser for an alumni to go back to school just to eat kopitiam ban mian. But I've come to realise it's not about whether it's by koufu or not – it's whether the people in front the stoves know their shit leh!

Because of that, I've had to resort to buying shitty ban mian from Jurong Point's kopitiam. First of all, it's a total rip-off that that shit is $5.50. And it only has fish slices. The Pioneer MRT one was $5, which had fish slices AND minced pork bits! Plus, the Jurong Point kopitiam broth is bland with a mild taste of MSG that does not sit well with me. How can your soup use MSG yet still taste so bland? You tell me?

Unfortunately, I had forgotten to pack an extra pair of underwear today, for I had creamed my pants when I got to the Pioneer MRT coffee shop to find out that... the satay beehoon stall expanded its menu to sell ban mian again!!! Slap my ass and call me Nasty Nancy!

The staff have changed, and the ban mian no longer has minced pork bits if you order the fish option, but damn, the broth is heavenly. There is a very distinct fishy taste from the white fish, and they also brew the soup with ginger slices – and I LOVE ginger slices. If it weren't so butt ugly, I would have a ginger tattooed somewhere on my ass, to also serve as a symbolic gesture that I will never suffer from trapped gas again.

The Pioneer MRT coffee shop is easily my favourite lah, seriously. Got dim sum, got cai png, got chicken rice, got duck rice, got Tenderfresh Western food, got roti prata, got century egg porridge, got the famous ah lian bee hoon, etc. etc. And I can walk there and back in less than 10 minutes! Thank you to my MP! You're the bomb!

The only problem I have with that coffee shop is that the cai png stall has this fat, ugly Chinaman who is ALWAYS sweating when serving customers. That's right. I always fear for my life that his sweat would actually drip into my food.

There was once I really saw a drop of sweat drip down from his chin, which either landed on the counter, or on the dish tray in front of him. I didn't want to check to confirm. Let's just say I've sworn off ordering any dish that's in the row of trays nearest to the staff.

To all Pioneer residents, do take this as a warning!!!!!! You ain't want to see no Chinaman sweat in your food!!!!!!!! Not to mention he always looks so dulan and tired. Then sweaty some more. Walan.

Tomorrow marks the second last day of my in-house freelance stint at my current company, and I feel so sad yet relieved that I can finally take a breather before my NS. But it's been so much fun there – the company, the work, everything. It'd be tough to find another group of people I can work this happily with again, and I'm thankful that it happened even though it's been a short 5 months. I AM GRATEFUL!!! If God is real please bless me with more happy working opportunities for the rest of my life!

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