iPhone woes

Yao siu, I actually wanted to hold out on this iPhone 5s, which I've used since its release in 2013, until prices for the 6S right now drop, but alas, things were not meant to be when my phone decided it'd be a good idea to slip out of my grip when I was closing my bunk door last week.

It fell front face-down and the entire top left corner is shattered and chipped. Plus, it now keeps pressing random areas of the screen which irritates the shit out of me when I need to actually use the phone.

And all this happening at such a "serendipitous" time got me thinking that Jesus probably wanted me to get an iPhone 7 LMAO. I guess its time is up lah, my iPhone 5s the last three years actually chalked up quite a long resume already anyway:

1. Broken silent mode toggle
2. Broken headphone jack (So essentially, I've been using the iPhone 7 before it even materialised. Hipster much)
3. 1 x bootleg battery replacement (At Sim Lim square for like $60? Damn)
4. Broken torchlight / camera flash (yep. No idea how that happened)
5. 1 x bootleg screen replacement (At an ah tiong shop in JE for like $80 lol)
6. LATEST: Shattered screen + moves on its own

But I think if my phone isn't in such a tragic state now I probably would've held on to it until the next year. I've reached a point where I'm totally cool with changing phones in 3/4-year cycles. That's one thing about ageing I actually wholly embrace!!! I no longer see the need of wanting to own the latest / best anything anymore, especially IT gadgets. Damn expensive sia. Except this case, because the iPhone 6S 128GB is actually more expensive than the iPhone 7 128GB lol. Yao siu.

I was actually thinking of getting the Rose Gold colour but after playing around with the matte black one (or as the guy who tended to me at Singtel says it, "blake" colour) I realised it was too sexy to not get that colour lol! Plus, not a big fan of the phone having a white frontplate... maybe I'd consider it if it was black at the front and rose gold at the back.


Anyway, can I just take a moment to spazz about how happy I am with Utada Hikaru's new album?!?!?! Bitch I waited 8 years for it to be out!!! Albeit it's a more mellow album because half of the album is about her mother's suicide, but I think it's coming at a very good time when J-Pop in 2016 has been shittier than ever before. Her collaborations on this album are absolutely A+++++++. It was a long wait but totally worth it.

Oh yeah, forgot to add on one stupid thing that happened. I was so caught up with planning my Tokyo trip that I actually missed the deadline to register for JLPT N2 in December. Fuck, right? I had thought in my head the entire time that registration was only going to open in mid-September, but turns out they had closed on Sept 9 zzz. So basically I have to pass the July 2017 exams by hook or by crook, otherwise I'm pretty much fucked4lyfe.

I've had it with these survey people

I have officially HAD IT!

I know I am a bitch for saying this. But I hate how society's overly-goody-two-shoes, Virgin Mary types like to say that we should understand why people do certain things because they're simply trying to make a living, or something along those lines. Or try to understand that perhaps, just perhaps, what they're doing is against their own will and they have no other choice but to do it.

But let me take a moment to talk about people who ask passers-by to do their stupid surveys on the streets.

The act in itself is harmless. I agree. Sometimes, people just siam after they see my resting bitch face, or when I calmly reject them. But lately some people on the streets are so fucking stupid, and not to mention RUDE that I just need to express my frustration.

CASE #1 - That bitch near Burlington Square

I was walking with Edrie to LaSalle to catch a play, so we were walking to the location from Bugis MRT and were about to reach the traffic light that you cross to Burlington Square. Suddenly, from the top right area of my vision, I see this chao ah lian holding a stupid flier ZOOM across me diagonally, completely ignoring me, and targeted Edrie to my left. I immediately knew why because the first words that came out of her mouth were "Hi do you go to Malaysia often?" She was holding a flier for some shit about travelling to Malaysia.

I was so fucking appalled I turned back, looked her straight in the eye, and said, "Wow, just because he's Malay?" She stopped dead in her tracks, and I continued staring straight back in her eyes as we walked away. Ask her to fuck off with her racism lah. Bye.

CASE #2 - That bitch right outside Causeway Point who AMBUSHED ME OUTSIDE MCDONALD'S

Was walking into Causeway Point to find someone, and as I was strolling along the side of the exterior of McDonald's I felt someone's finger annoyingly tapping on my arm. I thought it was a friend who wanted to say hi so I turned around. It's this fucking bitch wanting me to do a survey. She was like, "Excuse me are you an NSF?" whilst holding a clipboard with a stack of survey sheets.


Seriously I am so DONE with these people. Since when did they have the authority to AMBUSH people from the back and TOUCH people like that? PERSONAL SPACE?! HELLO?!

I have to admit, I didn't think quick enough to ask the woman why she touched me because all I wanted was to get her to stop following me cos I was already running late.

The worst part is that she probably thought she could've gotten away with it just because she is a woman. If it was a male doing this to a female he would've obviously gotten into shit. So I can honestly ascertain by 80% that this bitch was playing double standards to her favour. So fuck that.

And I'm sorry not sorry. My personal belief is to not do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you.

Salted Eggs! Kroyzens!

I am now a self-proclaimed salted egg croissant connoisseur, simply because I've made the conscious effort to taste (almost) all of them around... I think I just haven't tried Starbucks' one, because it's too basic (I am aware of the irony of the situation).

In terms of the BIG croissants (or as I affectionately call 'kroyzens' thanks to random auntie at BK), I feel like Asanoya's one is still the best (never got to try the original Antoinette one). The rest are too hard and "crusty", very unlike the texture of a crassic kroyzen. Not a big fan of their matcha version though.

In terms of the SMALL croissants (that typically go for $1 a piece), Bunmaster is the least nice one, because their kroyzens taste like bread, and the filling is only concentrated on one spot of the whole thing, so you have to endure 50% of nasty, salty "bread" for the heavenly filling that comes after.

Breadtalk used to be the best one, overtaking Breadsociety, but now I think the best one is Four Leaves'. Not only are theirs the biggest out of all $1 rivals, but they also offer the cheapest bulk discount if I remember correctly – 1 for $1, 2 for $1.90, 3 for $2.70. And let's just say there is soooo much of the delicious, velvety filling that there is NO way you can eat this without it jizzing all over the plastic bag they put it in. It's really pretty damn good if you ask me.

But let's all take a moment to remember that croissants are made of 50% butter as well so...  (watch from 4:07 onwards and proceed to die)

Speaking of salted egg yolk, I have to say that despite all the flak it receives, McDonald's new Salted Egg Yolk burger does have its own merits.

PRO-TIP: Remember to order with EXTRA SAUCE. It doesn't do anything with regards to its subtle taste, but it does make the burger really wet, and who doesn't love a wet burger, yknowhatImean? ;)

Also, the salted egg yolk sauce actually can taste lah, you just have to "try very hard to taste it". I'm pretty sure y'all know what I mean. It's when you REALLY want to dissect the taste of something, so you keep focusing your energies on tasting it, which might sometimes involve the involuntary moving of the tongue up and down? Or don't tell me I'm the only one who does it?

Another on my list of obsessions lately: BEARD PAPA'S. It's so heavenly despite its pedophilloic name. The latest white chocolate eclair puff with cookies and cream filling? Fantastic. I can't get enough of those. I think they should have some sort of membership for that place.

I never thought this would happen to me #2

Last year (or 2 years ago), I blogged my first case of "I never thought this would happen to me" when my house keys fell through the gap of the elevator. Here's part 2.

As I've learnt in many health education classes about Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease, seeing the gruesome pictures more or less made that phrase a very dirty word in my vocabulary. And at the age of 21, I would've never imagined that I would contract it in my life. Ever. Plus, I generally dislike terms with words relating to feet in them.


The first thing that came to my mind was how my unit is going to FLIP. And they really did. Because immediately after I was diagnosed with it and informed them about it, the entire camp went into hardcore mode and installed tens and hundreds of disinfecting hand sanitisers all around camp (which, one month on, are still there. I consider this my legacy), and my colleagues, who have only known me for 1.5 days, had to disinfect the whole office AND my bunk. Thankfully, we're still friends........ or so I think....

At first only my bunkmate, Keith, got it right after our graduation parade (pics on Instagram, lazy post here lol). He was diagnosed the very next day on a Friday.

Which was why when I realised I had 2 ulcers in my mouth (I haven't gotten ulcers since I took off my braces - hallelujah!), and had small, tingly bumps appear on my hands a few days after, my mind flashed back to the time when Keith and I were at Pasir Laba Camp's cookhouse and he used his cutlery to pass me his unwanted chicken wing, and I passed him 2 of my ngoh hiangs.

And I was also reminded that the very next day after returning our parade-wear, we went to Sushi Express where he and I shared a slice of unagi, which was delicious. That, and also another instance where we basically shared saliva. Aka indirectly made out. Cue mental imagery.

So friends, HFMD is very real and can happen to adults. Also to all my friends who study / are studying Medicine, I know you've been taught that HFMD is transmitted through fecal-oral contact, but I can guarantee I did not involve (and I will NEVER involve) in any scat fetish activity.

But to be honest, I've always had a weak immune system so that's probably why I got it. Contrary to popular belief HFMD is not common in adults AT ALL (I have become a self-proclaimed expert in HFMD, because I had nothing to do during my 7-day MC except research about my own disease, and watch 2 seasons of Friends).

I even went to Pink Dot (which I am technically not allowed to, and I'm not sure if I can be arrested for it. And I'm not referring to the homosexhusness of it, I'm referring to HFMD.) and nobody got hurt. Other than the fact that my friends freaked the shit out 2-3 days later when they got "symptoms" for HFMD, when it ended up not even being it! Cheebyes.

Anyway some life updates! Turns out, I got posted back to my vocation's training school, which I was totally surprised by, because I only knew I was interviewed to be the personal assistant for DB's commandant, lol.

Turns out I was posted to be the personal assistant for my school's CO. For the civilians reading this, it basically means I am the slutty secretary of the school principal whose duties include replying emails, and bitches about anything and everything as a pastime. And if you know me, you'd know that's soOOoOooOoooOooOoo me, and I feel so lucky. This is basically my poly internship with a less stressful job and a 50% pay raise. Plus, it's going back to a familiar place.

Am also thinking of going back to Japan in September wooo! Hopefully I don't die or sth

Cab ride thought #1

So in my course, we have one female cadet amongst the 150 of us. And whenever we have a lecture or a lesson being conducted, many a times when the person teaching is about to make a crude or inappropriate joke, he would either:

1. Ask the female cadet to cover her ears
2. Ask the female cadet to "pardon" his words
3. Change the language altogether simply because there is a female around.

And I'm so baffled by this. I can't help but wonder - is that what makes married men so oppressed because they always have this latent need to be "gentlemanly" or whatever the fuck you call that? And by extension, and I'm going out on a limb here, could this also somewhat contribute to infidelity in men? Because they are too tired of this inherent oppression they may not even be aware of?

Ok, but benefit of doubt, maybe they just wanna be a nice person. But I just don't understand why just because ITS A GIRL means you have to be nice and tone down your language. Like, why???????????????? You wanna sleep w her meh?

I don't know but I'm very pro-gender equality so I enjoy shooting my mouth regardless of whoever or whatever gender is around me.  That's how I'd like an ideal world to be but that's just my personal belief. I just don't see the point why a certain gender has to be singled out to be treated differently just because.

But whatever. Based on personal experience I'm not a fan of army regulars. My close friends know what I'm talking about.

~*food for thought cos I'm bored on a cab*~


Was so disappointed earlier to find out that Jurong Point's Breadtalk was sold out of salted egg yolk kroyzens :(

Kroyzens is also how I'm going to read and pronounce croissants from now on (unless I'm in a situation where I have to protect what little I have on an image) because that's exactly how I heard an auntie pronounce it a few months back HAHAHA. I was particularly fascinated by the way she said it with so much gusto, accenting the "K" and the "Z".

I really love salted egg yolk so fucking much eh. I swear to god, I am so on top of this fad, which I hope will last for a lifetime. I will eat anything with salted egg yolk. The only thing that I've had with salted egg yolk that turned out to be bad was Pastamania's pathetic attempt at an SG50 salted egg yolk pasta (that shit was bland) but everything else has been so awesome.

I don't understand why anybody wouldn't like it. Maybe cos I'm Cantonese and we all dig eggs that are not in their purest form – salted egg, century egg, you name it, we love it, unless it's balut. I've actually looked up videos on how to make my own salted eggs, but I literally have to keep them in a brine for a month before I can use them, which I don't have the patience for, clearly. You know what I also really like? That soupy kangkong that they like to cook with garlic, salted egg and century egg. I should probably learn how to do that someday cos it's GOOD SHIAT.

This is also my second time in the last six months to have some kind of throat infection which I am pretty sure is once again contracted from the army. URGH! I hate communal living. The first time I got a throat infection it lasted for a good month from BMT all the way to the midpoint of SCS. I'm so annoyed. And I've decided to repair my image by showering slightly more often now (*ahem* am I really tho?) but that is clearly not helping my throat. Maybe I've been giving one too many BJs, who knows? Hmm...


Lately I've been very curious towards the notion of why us as human beings like to seek entertainment so much. We all watch TV, movies, go for concerts and festivals, blah blah blah, and entertainment in some form or another plays such a big part in our lives that I can't help but wonder why. 

I do know for a fact that entertainment played a big part in post-war times because at a time when a country is in shambles entertainment is the thing everyone can look to for some form of happiness, or rather, escapism. I get that.

But a few days ago I Google-d for a few answers, which I spent an accumulated time of 5 minutes skimming through, because of my unfortunate lack of an attention span, and found that it's because we as humans lead too leisurely lives if we're found to look for entertainment too much. I might be wrong because I evidently didn't read all that much, but it said that human beings by nature are resilient and are meant to overcome adversities and shit. So when that isn't present in our environment, we start to chillax and decide to look for things to just "pass time" / entertain us until shit hits the fan lor, basically. Which is what contributed to the fall of the Roman empire, apparently. Maybe that's why we're all so fat now. That's why there's Netflix and chill. AHHHHHH!!!


While I don't know how, I think I'm going to start saving up because I'm planning to go to Japan in September this year. And I might wanna go to Taiwan as well. Plus I need to save up and replace my shitty, 3-year-old iPhone 5s, which by the way, is so shitty that the headphone jack and camera flash doesn't even work anymore LOL! Clearly dropped it way too many times. Sigh. But yeah. Money probléms because of my first-world needs :(


So I have a very tragic announcement to make.

It's not exactly the best thing to have. Or rather, the best condition to have.

Am I going to die? Well, under the wrong circumstances, I just might.

Are people going to shun me after seeing it? You bet they would.

No, I am not retiring. (#casuallytryingtopullaRebeccaLim)

I suffer from Stage 4 Resting Bitch Face.

It's actually really bad.

As anybody in NS would know, you have to constantly switch around to different camps at the beginning. From Tekong to PLC to my current camp (literally from the East to the West), the success rate at which I have been called out for my Resting Bitch Face is a stunning 100%.

Sometimes it takes me by so much surprise – usually it starts off with someone staring at my face, to which I would stare back and wonder what's up. "Travis why do you look so du lan?" "Travis why do you look so gloomy?" "Travis you look very sad eh what happened?"


Then I have to proceed to explain about how I have a resting bitch face and it's just like that. Is this what Rui En goes through on a daily basis?

I won't deny that it has helped me in many situations though. For example, salesmen and people doing flag day and surveyors won't normally approach me because I look so damn pissed off. They literally shun me, which is great. I hope that keeps up.

In other news I have unfortunately racked up an unfortunate reputation in my bunk to be a very dirty person. Not mentally, because that's universally known. But physically. SO ANNOYING!

It all happened one day after close combat training where I didn't sweat a lot. Didn't sweat what, so it's fine right? So in my state of not giving two shits, I decided to lie down on my bed. And the entire bunk got sooooo appalled by the fact that I didn't bother to shower first before lying down on my bed?!?! CAN SOMEBODY TELL ME THIS IS OKAY PLEASE?

From that day on they've decided to replace the word 'dirty' in their dictionary to 'Travis'. "Don't be so Travis lah!" Walao eh...

Last Friday before booking out we had physical training as well, after which, as I actually do most of the time, I immediately went to shower. After changing into my civilian clothes and packed my bag, FOUR bunkmates asked on separate times, "Travis you got shower or not?" OMG!!!!!! It's not even in a joking way. They were legitimately, genuinely asking if I had showered. AHHHH!!!

It's alright, as long as I know I'm clean nothing else matters!!!!.... until I contract some form of disease.


Sometimes I find myself to be more emotional and sensitive than I'd like to be. It's a bit crazy because there's always a war of words going on in my mind.

I miss everything about the real world. I miss engaging in intellectual conversations with people, talking about the things that matter; it's been a while since my mind's been stimulated / challenged.

The army feels like a separate world of its own, detached from the true reality. Perhaps for some, they relish this kind of escapism because of their own personal circumstances. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't crave the everyday sights of what used to be my normal routine.

I miss my routine of going to work every day, and then either going to the gym after work, meet up with my friends or going home to study Japanese or practice music. It felt like such a productive routine (and Capricorns love routine and hate change).

I miss my worry-free Sundays when despite knowing I have work the next day, it's okay because I would still look forward to going to work.

I miss being around people who know that everything we do shouldn't be about upholding one's pride because we all know that is stupid, but rather, centred around doing things that matter to the bigger picture.

I miss a world where titles don't matter (so much).

Most importantly, I miss spending time with the people who matter in my life. Time is seriously, ridiculously limited.

I can drink 7 cups of positivi-tea every day but at the end of the day, deep inside, we're all fighting internal wars nobody else can see. It's just a matter of whether you want to show it or not.

楽しいそうに笑って 誰でもロンリー
Even if they all laugh so joyously, everyone’s lonely

It's not exactly the most positive post I can write when the year has just started, but though I know that this phase will pass too, when you can't dealz, you can't dealz. I know things will get better eventually.

Here's my basic bitch 2015-in-review post

I've said it before and I'll say it again that 2015 has been one of the best years I've been in and WOOO! It feels good to be alive!!

Here's some nasty ass shit I've done over the past year:

Ended my dream internship at 8 DAYS magazine which was soooo much fun. Prior to me, there had been no male and/or polytechnic interns there for many years and I'm glad I didn't disappoint. Thanks to my good kaypoh skills I also found out that the current intern there now is also a guy from NP's MCM!

Includes token ang moh couple

Went on our graduation trip to Krabi / Thailand where we got drunk, krunk, and landed ourselves in strip clubs, booby-and-pussy-grabbing and all.

Graduated with a Diploma with Merit in NP's Mass Communication! Wooo!

Began my foray in the advertising / social media industry with Havas media which brought me amazing opportunities and experiences – including an all-expenses-paid trip to a private island.

Caught Katy Perry and the holy trinity of J-Pop live (ayumi hamasaki, Koda Kumi and Namie Amuro)

Got my JLPT N3 certification after failing that shit 6 months before

Went on my first solo trip to Osaka, which I have yet to blog about, where I officially became an #onsenadvocate and a #nudityadvocate there

And lastly, enlisted into the army, where everything is pretty much going to go downhill from here.

I may have made some mistakes, but there ain't no ragrets. 2016 is going to be a hell of a shit year, but I'm not going to slow down and I'd be damned if I don't get my JLPT N2 tbh.

I'm even gonna be celebrating my 21st birthday in a jungle in Tekong lol! Not to mention the weekend before that is burnt as well, so I'll probably just forget I even have a birthday. :(

Am also on the lookout for affordable drum teachers in the West so if anybody reading this has a lobang it'd be greatly appreciated~~